would you split up family to pay debt?
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would you split up family to pay debt?
| Sat, 10-09-2004 - 11:22pm |
We have the possibility that if we let my military husband do what is called geographical bachelorhood, and the kids and I move home for a couple years til he finishes out his tour here, where it would enable me to go back to work and use my income to get us out of debt by the end of that geobachelor period. We'd be able to begin saving too. We wouldn't get to see him very often, which would be hard on the kids; but I can't stop thinking about the need to do what it takes to get out of debt sooner. We hate it here to say the least.

Personally, I could not.
kel
I couldn't - a couple *years* is a long time....now a couple months I could deal with but it would be hard...years, no way even if it meant I had to wait longer to get out of debt.
However, I haven't lived the military life but know that it is completely different and depending on how your situation is, could work.
Becky
CL of 4th, 5th & 6th grade Scoliosis
DH and I are used to being apart - we had a long-distance relationship for 6 years, including part of my first pregnancy. But that was when it was just us. Parenting is a full-time commitment, regardless of what your job is, and we could never sacrifice my ability or my husband's ability to parent our children for money or career.
We are not military, so we aren't used to the concept of being deployed elsewhere, which makes the idea hard to even imagine. I know it is different for other people, but I can't imagine voluntarily separating my kids from their dad.
Kelly
Do what you need to do for your family...***ALL*** that matters is that you *and* DH are in total agreement about the decision!!!
I also think that the strain on the marriage would not be worth it. I suppose that some people make it through okay, and I know my dad was on remote tour for most of the first year of my brother's life (it was Vietnam War years), and it's not as uncommon among military families, but I suspect that most marriages suffer an enormous toll. I know that my husband and I have the hardest time getting along after one of us has been gone for a few days. I can't imagine what a couple years would do.
Ultimately, the decision is yours, and if you both feel good about the separation, then *maybe* it's the right thing. But if you have any doubts, my recommendation is to stay together.
Just my two cents.
Heather
Hi zookeeper,
My dh is military also and personally I would not volunteer to spend time away from dh.