What are some of your pet peeves...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
What are some of your pet peeves...
3
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 9:41pm
I'm just curious. I know some people are way too mature for this, but I still struggle with jealousy when around people whose situations seem so much easier than mine. For instance, back when we were unemployed, the bills were stacking up, the creditors were calling, and we were contemplating moving out of state to live with relatives just to have a roof over our heads, I remember sitting in the kitchen of a friend whose husband was making nearly six digits and hearing her talk about how they could "really use" the additional money they were going to be getting when he got a promotion. How the extra thousand dollars a month would really help them "ease up" on their budget yada yada. At the time, it just made me feel sick. Of course, I know that everyone has problems at whatever level they are at, but it was still hard to listen to when we were wondering whether we would even be able to pay the rent that month.

So, here's my question: what are your triggers? What are the things that people in better financial situations say that really get you hot and bothered?

On the flip side, when you're around people whose finances are easier than yours, what sorts of things are okay for them to say? If the subject of money or finances comes up, what sorts of things can/have people said that made you feel better or at least made you think kindly of them?

I look forward to everyone's stories and comments!

Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 10:15pm
While reading your message two occasions came to mind.

Let me preface this by saying I have a great group of friends whom we have been friends since we worked together many years ago, fast forward to today and I am still the single one working 2 jobs to make ends meet and trying to keep up with them at times. They all live in mini-mansions and I live in a townhome, three of them are stay at home moms with husbands that do very well financially affording them to support their lifestyles and large families. Two of them work pt because they want to, not because they have too, without their pt jobs they would be in the same boat as the other three.

Okay, so then there is me ~ one day a friend from this group calls me and I'm explaining my financial woes and she says well lets go out, maybe dinner and a movie, and I say "I can't afford that" she lets out a big sigh and says "ummm, you can't afford a movie?" To which I responded "no I can hardly afford to pay my bills therefore I can't afford to see a movie" ~ it bothered me that I had just told her my finacial situation and she completely dismissed it, either that or she wasn't listening in the first place, either way somehow I felt awful about it for some reason.

Then on another occassion I was down because my boyfriend of three years and I had broken up and one of these friends called me and said "you must go get a facial, that always make me feel better and I know that it will do wonders for you right now" and I said "there is no way I could afford that" and she said "so what charge it", I changed the topic. I was thinking, yeah you can say that because your husband owns two companies and everything you charge he just pays each month and you never have to worry about it.

I guess the pet peeve here is that they make these comments at all. They know my situation and they are either not listening to "get it", they don't think I'm in as a bad of a situation as I am, or they just don't care.

Don't get me wrong they are fabulous friends and they have treated me on occassion (and vice versa while I was using credit cards), when we have girls night at my place we potluck it because they know I can't foot the whole bill for 6 of us, and on every other thing besides their money comments are group is wonderful.

So that's my pet peeve.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 10:41pm

I don't think it is necessary to speak of income to personal friends.

Always Seeking Forever Learning

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2004
Tue, 10-19-2004 - 11:05pm
This one is easy - my biggest pet peeve is just my friends who's parents still pay for everything for them!! ( remember I'm still 21 ) ...I'm talking cars, school, rent, insurance, even gas. And I've been pretty much on my own since 18. Not to say I'm not proud of what I've done but sometimes it's annoying when you are working your butt off and always strapped for cash while other people your age don't have a care in the world. I chose this path though :)

But I miss the mall more then ANYTHING :(