New too-Am I posting in the right place?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
New too-Am I posting in the right place?
9
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 12:28pm

I posted eariler, but had no responses. Am I posting in the right spot? If not, would someone please tell me and I will post to where ever I need to.

Thanks.

Here is my post again:

Hi. I'm brand new to this board, and I am thrilled to have this available to me (I've been on the Job Seeker's board for over a year and a half). I can use all the help you can offer.

Long, long story short, I've suffered (and I mean SUFFERED) two lay-offs in two years with long spans of unemployment in between. I lost my house last year and have an incredible (and I mean that) mountain of debt including credit cards, school loans, old utility bills, and owed taxes (ironically from my Unemployment payments that weren't enough to cover my bills in the first place). I've had to put my belonging in storage, relocate to another state (Georgia) to move in with my sister, and I've been living in her computer room for the past ten months. I just got a new job (I start next week) and it's my first glimmer of hope to get my life back. My wonderful sister has not only let me stay rent-free (I'd only been able to find short-term temporary work and made little money over the past year), but she has purchased my personal items and kept me fed while I've been looking for work. While I appreciate everything she has done for me, I have always been self-sufficient and have felt like the biggest leach and loser over all this. She isn't being nasty about it, but it is obvious that she would love nothing more than to have her house back to herself as she had given me "deadlines" to get things together ("do you think you'll be out by June?...September?...Christmas?".

Here are my questions:

1. Should I try to find someone to rent me a place right away (if at all posible), and then approach my debt with what is left over after I pay rent and utilities?
OR
2. Should I mooch off of my sister for a few more months and save up some money before trying to move out?

OR

3. Should I continue to mooch, but pay off some of my more pressing debt before even attempting to apply for a place since I'm terrified that my credit is so bad right now that no one will rent me anything?

Also, should I go to one of those Credit Counseling places and just hand over my future checks, or should I try to deal with my creditor on my own first?

WHERE DO I START???

Thank you for your help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 1:14pm

Welcome to the board. It sounds like you've had it really rough and could really use support so you are definitely at the right place.

I know you're happy to have landed a job and want to begin getting your life in order. But I think you should take things slow. Start the job and see how it's going. I don't think your sister will expect you to move out immediately.

As far as all the things you want to accomplish could you talk with your sister and make arrangements to begin paying room and board and maybe set up a timetable for your plans to get your own place. This way you have an inexpensive place to stay until you can get back on your feet. I know when we went through layoffs and got behind on payments it would take twice as long to get caught up as it did to get behind.

I follow the Dave Ramsey plan. You could check out his website at www.daveramsey.com. He also has serveral books that are helpful.

Welcome,
Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 1:20pm

Thank you so much!

I wasn't sure I was posting where I was supposed to. I will definately check out the website, and I will talk with my sister.

Thanks again!

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 1:52pm

Welcome to the board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 3:10pm

Hello, and thank you.

I had posted the same letter just a little before this one, but I was confused because I saw other postings that came after mine and they already had responses, so I thought maybe I was supposed to start in a different section first instead of "discussions". I have been so excited and relieved about finally getting a job, I just wanted to jump in and start getting things ready to "be fixed".

My finances have been so out of whack over the past year and a half that I'm really afraid that I will never recover from all this. But I will check out the website that the previous poster suggested. I just needed help on where to start because it's just so over whelming.

Thanks for your reply.

Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 3:34pm

I would start by talking to your sister.

All my best,
Danni

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 4:00pm

No problem, I just was slightly confused. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 4:31pm

You are so right about that! I'm sitting here trying to pay bills in my mind with a paycheck that I haven't even earned yet. I wasn't even going to let myself think about it until I actually received my offer letter, signed it, and Fed-Exed it back to them (I was willing to pay the extra $ just to make sure they got it back ok).

After what you've been through you do have a clue about what I'm going through. Last year was a nightmare! I lost the house I had worked my whole life to finally get and I kept having to "hide" my car until I was finally able to scratch up the money to pay it off (one of the good things that happened). My daughter had to leave college because her tuition had been based on what I had been making before the layoff (which on paper looked great at the time). This whole mess just about destroyed my credit and my self esteem. Now that I finally have a new job I guess my first thoughts were "how many bills can I pay within the first month". I really am afraid that I will never get out from under all these bills, that I will never be able to rent a place never mind buy a house again, and that I will always owe somebody or something. I guess I'm just in a hurry to "get my life back" if there is such a thing.

Thanks for replying. I'm sorry your family had to go through the same thing, but it really helps to know that I'm not the only one.

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 5:38pm

Oh yeah!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 7:27pm

Welcome!

The previous posters have given you good suggestions.

I would add that although my advice would be to stay on with your sister (if she's willing) for a pre-determined period of time while paying a share of her expenses; I'd start pricing the rent/deposit required and save up as much as you can towards the costs of your future move.
Pull your credit reports from all the major bureaus (Experian, Equifax, TransUnion) to see how things stack up.

Also, list all of your debts in the order you feel are most urgent, perhaps also from smallest balances to the largest - whatever you feel is right. With your first paycheque going forward you can begin to tackle the list one by one. With the credit card companies, call them to negotiate a payment schedule that you can be sure you'll stick with...don't let them try to make you pay more than you've determined is possible.
If you are behind on any utility payments, I'm sure many will take payment arrangements as well.
Finally, please budget yourself some money even if it can only be $20/mth to just treat yourself. You've been through a lot and the worst feeling is knowing that your paycheque is gone before it hits the bank.

The goal is to be able to move into your own place in a better position than what you've been forced to live with for what seems like forever. I'm so happy for you that you have a job!

This is a great place to glean information, share experiences and support and also find people who won't judge you because you are in debt. Remember that you are not your debt (a slogan a lot of us use around here).

Again welcome and to better days ahead for you.
Kassandra

Kassandra

"It is said that life has its peaks and valleys.  The challenge is to accept them equally and experience them