Ok, time to start over, I guess

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Ok, time to start over, I guess
6
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 9:48pm
Well, since I posted in the 'missing in action' thread, and everyone was so nice (thanks to each of you.... you really are super people), I guess I'm here again, hopefully the third time is a charm. I am stressed, maxed, depressed, and totally at my wit's end.... and stressed, did I say that already? I have a $275 car payment, 9 credit cards (balances range from $300 to $3100), a $400 propane bill (have to have heat, right?), $600 balance on a computer from Dell (don't ever do that... bad thing, ridiculous interest), $460 balance on a payday loan (SUPER bad thing, my last ever, I've sworn to myself... just four more payments), $70 dentist bill, and on top of all of that, my daughter will be 16 in about a month and then Christmas will be here. I work all the overtime I can get at work. I have a job interview tomorrow for a second job, but I hate that because it would take me away from my daughter even more than I am now. It's just me and her, so I hate to not spend time with her. If I can just get a few things paid off, I will be ok, but for right now I can barely stay afloat. I've sold everything I can think of, had yard sales, done the ebay thing, all of that. Basic bills are down to minimums, we don't buy meat or soda, we eat lots of tuna, soup, etc., and sometimes I splurge on a chicken for the crock pot. I haven't bought a new pair of shoes in two years, and I have one pair of jeans. I did buy a $10 sweater tonight so I have something nice to wear for my interview tomorrow. I'm guessing this job will be just over minimum wage, if that, so I don't even know if it is worth my time away from my daughter, but I feel like I can't turn it down if that offer it to me. And my daughter is a varsity cheerleader, so it may mean that I can't go to her ballgames, and that's something that is important to me. Does anyone have any ideas that I haven't thought of yet, or any wisdom that can help me. Or can someone re-schedule Christmas a few months later just this once? It just feels so hopeless, I don't know what to do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 10:01pm

The good news is, if you add up what your paying on all those debts... once you pay them off you'll be able to save a TON of money each month.

If you get the second job, see if working that for at least a few months would ensure you could pay the computer and payday loans off... those are probably the worst. And then if a couple more months would enable you to pay a couple credit cards that are around $300, you'd have given yourself a good jump start on getting out of debt. Now add up what you pay each month for the computer, payday loan and the two smallest credit cards. How much is that? I'm guessing is more than a hundred, and if you've paid those things off, you know you will have that every month to put to the highest interest rate credit card and get serious about getting out of debt. And if you can do that with working the second job for 4-5 months, it may just be worth it to you and your daughter (she's sacrificing because of the debt too, as you pointed out).

On thing to consider, is if the second job will keep you from being able to pick up overtime at work. Time and 1/2 pay is much better than minimum wage.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2003
Thu, 10-21-2004 - 10:38pm

The part time job doesn't have to be a forever thing-just a right now to help you get a head start kind of thing. Sometimes it's the only thing you can do-toss some dynamite into the logjam, and get some breathing room.

It took a long time until my DH and I were able to make any progress with our bills. We honestly thought we were never never going to be debt-free. He works 3 jobs (1 FT, 1 PT,1 VERY part time, lol) & I work 2 PT jobs + workstudy at school+ tutoring at school (only 2 more weeks of that). We're both FT students, and have a DD. Do we spend as much time together as we'd like to? No, but we made the choice to go after this debtload hard for a year and see where we were. It's much harder for you because it doesn't sound like you have anybody to back you up. But, if it's only for a short time, it will be worth it.

Is there any assistance you can apply for? Or go to the food shelf? And, hardest question-have you lined up your bills so you have a good idea of what your snowball order could be? (it's not fun, but is good to do)

hang in there-we're all here for you to vent to. it's not always an easy road to travel, but at least you have company!

Good luck with your interview!

~Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 1:02pm

You've done some of the hardest part already. You are facing the situation and making plans for changes. I think a short term sacrifice will be benefical to you and your daughter in the long run.

I know your having a hard time with all the bills and expenses but the more detailed and organized your plan the better chance it will succeed. Give every dollar of your income, overtime, and second income a name. Have a plan and stick to it no matter what.

You will succeed.

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2003
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 9:53pm
I can understand your feelings about leaving your daughter but I know she'll understand especially if it's a short term job.

I grew up with my mom as a single parent and she worked a full-time job plus additional part-time jobs to help us survive and pay off her debts. I did miss her when she was working but I knew that she was doing her very best to provide and not for one minute did I ever feel neglected or unloved.

You are sacrificing for both of you and I know you'll succeed, because you'll never allow debt to steal time away from your daughter ever again. My mother won her battle with debt many years ago and it made such a difference in both of our lives back then.

Best wishes,

Kassandra

Kassandra

"It is said that life has its peaks and valleys.  The challenge is to accept them equally and experience them

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 11:12pm
I want to thank everyone for all the kind words and encouragement. I had my job interview today for a second job, and it looks promising. It is a retail job, but it is in a brand new store that will be opening here, and I'm hoping that since I will be going in at the beginning, I can get shifts that will still allow me time to spend with my daughter as much as possible. That is, if I get the job. They said I would probably get a call on Monday, so hopefully I'll get it. It wouldn't start for about three weeks or so. It starts at 6.50/hour, so if I can work 30 hours a week (in addition to my other fulltime job), then I would probably net about an extra $650 a month. My daughter and I have talked about it and she knows it's necessary. We have sworn that all the pay from this second job goes directly to paying off debt.... not eating out, going to movies, etc. Right now I'm not even able to take care of minimums on the one job, so the fees and stuff are killing me. I am going to put a plan all out in writing tonight. It just seems so... big. I have vowed to come back to the board every day, so you guys may have to listen to me whine for a while, but hopefully I will have something positive before long.
Avatar for mymartes
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 11:34pm
gomom99,

good luck. it sounds like you have a great relationship w/your daughter.

MYM