i'm going to be bald soon

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
i'm going to be bald soon
19
Fri, 10-22-2004 - 11:23pm
I got one of dh's cc bills today and he went over his limit. He only used it once (that was too much btw lol) and he spent $25 on chinese. How does that happen? And the worst part is, it was just for himself. I highly doubt that, I think he bought his roommate some too. GRRRR. It took everything I had not to blow up at him on the phone when he called. I was in such a bad mood today before I even recieved that. Last night I just went off about money (not at him was just releasing frustrations and anger) and told him this sucks and I can't take much more of this. I didn't have a good day and am reaching the end of my rope. There has to be a light at the end of the tunnel; I'm just not seeing it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 8:47pm
I have tried to get dh to take over the finances for 1 month but he refused. He refuses to talk about it also. I think if he actually sees the numbers, he will have to control his spending and urges. I just don't think he wants to admit to himself how bad off we are cause then it might make him feel like a failure.

I have asked him to go to financial counseling but he refuses that also. I told him I would go with him. I just wouldn't send him to something like that by himself lol.

When he comes home from tdy and still hasn't changed and before he/we get back to where we are now, I will make him go to financial counseling even if I have to talk to his CO or whoever I need to talk to. Maybe they can help me make him go.
Avatar for mquin73
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 11:18am

Probably the only way that's really gonna open his eyes is maybe talking to the CO.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 1:25pm
Bad thing is, he knows it can affect his career. He knows it can affect security clearances. Grrr. I'm hoping he grows up soon. lol
Avatar for mquin73
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 4:01pm

((((HUGS)))) I hope so too!



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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 4:16pm
I don't know if it would help, but does he know how much that $25 Chinese actually cost. If it put him over the limit of his cc, did they hit you with an over the limit fee, and did they raise the interest rate. Maybe showing him what can actually happen will get him to realize what he needs to do.

As far as you not having any money for you, I completely understand. I haven't bought anything for myself in the last six months, except for maternity clothes. I still only spent around $150 for a wardrobe full. At least I bought a few things and am making do. I figure I don't have to have an extensive wardrobe, so what if I wear the same things every week, I am not expected to look like a super model, I am pregnant.

DH on the other hand, buys a new computer so he can do his work, then he has to add software onto it, because the software he already had he could only put on one computer per licesnsing agreement, then he has to have a cable lock for it so it won't get stolen at work, etc., etc., etc.

In other words, I feel your pain. Let me put it this way, our one credit card carried a zero balance in June--now it is maxed out. When DH came home for lunch today, I told him no more cc. It will only take six months to pay it off (I think I am dreaming--realistically it will take much longer) but I feel bad because we were doing so well, now we are doing so bad.

Kellie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 7:22pm
Yep that is the thing here too. We only had a balance on 1 credit card and now we have 6 credit cards, all have balances, and 3 are maxed. GRRRR! How frustrating! He doesn't seem to understand you can't use cc as cash. He doesn't understand that it costs up more. I don't know. He is coming home in a couple weeks and I am confiscating those cards when he isn't looking AND cutting one up. Mwahahahah! Its bad but oh well, tired of living like this. :)
Avatar for mquin73
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 8:13pm

I know how you feel.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 1:18pm
A providian card is the last cc I would use. Their f. rate should be illegal!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 1:25pm
A friends husband maxed out every cc he got, She got a 2nd mortgage to pay the cc off, he then got new ones, maxed them, she couldn't pay everything. He was selfish. Thought he deserved whatever he wanted right then. She couldn't pay her own cc bills at this point, so in reality, she LET him destroy her credit. They just went bankrupt. The sad thing is I pay and struggle to pay all our bills, they won't be paying anything back, will end up with new c cards before you know it. donna

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