Struggling to stay afloat...long

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Struggling to stay afloat...long
8
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 8:44am
Well, I have posted here a few time, so I am hoping some of you remember my situation. My name is kelly and I am 27 year old mother and wife. Dh and I have a 2 year old, Roslyn who is the absolute light of my life. I work full time, mostly from home, as a bookkeeper. DH and I are about $16,000 worth of debt, not including 2 student loans in forebearance and a car loan.(I am trying to focus on unsecured debt right now, and the student loans aren't due for a long while). Dh and I have both worked for the same local company for about 5 years. It is a small family oriented business and very close knit. Dh recently found a job doing what he absolutley loves, naval and marine engineering. (he hasn't even finished his degree yet, this is a great opportunity for him). We worked both jobs for awhile and was recently offered to go full time as an engineer. Great, you say, right? not really... I totally encouraged him, because this is a great step up for him, but it also causes tons of problems. You see, we rent our house from his previous(my) employer. And the guy is pissed that dh has left. (he gave notice) and now he says he thinks he wants us to move out of the rental house. He said he is still thinking about it, but I really think we are going to be out after christmas. We have no lease, it was just kind of an agreement. I still work there and hope that helps sway his decision, but I don't really work for this guy, I am in a different dept. So, we have no where to go, and will most likely have to move in with my parents if we get kicked out. Our ultimate goal was to pay off debt and buy a house in a year or two, I do not want to sign a lease for an apartment or house we don't want right now.

So, along with all that, we are dealing with a significant pay decrease. Hubby used to get a $400 commission check and now that is no longer coming in. We have also lost the extra money he was bringing by working 2 jobs. So we are looking at a really big pay decrease. We are trying so hard to change our habits. We are not eating out, we used to constantly. We are not buying unneccessary things. I am cooking from scratch. We are tying but we do slip up. (this week, I bought a hardback book for $23 and he bought a portfolio for work for $25. ) I am selling things on ebay and trying to make extra money.

I dont know why I am posting this, I'm just so scared and frustrated. Maybe moving in with my family would be better for us, but I don't want to lost this house. I love it! Its so quiet and in the country and my daughter has her own room and our dog has room to run and we are independent. I don't want to llive with my parents. I love them, but I don't want to lose the priviledge of cooking for my family and having quiet nights with my husband and daughter. This just sucks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 11:14am
Hello! I'm so sorry you are going thru this. I'm gonna start off by saying what my DP told me a while ago - please don't get so attached to material things-because they can be replaced. I don't know what area you are in, but I think you can find another house-rental. From reading your post it seems as this boss has some kind of leverage over you and yours. Personaly, long to short - I would be looking for another house/apt. to rent, especially, since everything was verbal with this landlord.

P.S. - if moving in with your parents is the temporary solution, I would take it. At least you know it's temporary. I'm sorry, but something doesn't sit right with me in your situation, I may be wrong, but you have options. Pleae take care and God Bless!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 12:02pm
I know, it doesn't "sit right" with me either. When we moved into this house, we were both happy working for the company and it seemed logical to move in. The rent was dirt cheap and it was a great thing for us. THEN! Now that dh has moved on and bettered (word?) himself, the boss is resentful. It is a small company and everyone is very loyal and considered like family. When you leave however, they are not that friendly. (by the way,MY boss is the best ever and I mean it.) I don't know what will happen with this house and I hate just not knowing. Who knows he may cool off and let us stay another year. I know you are right about moving in with my parents, it may turn out to be the best thing for us. But, i hate the fact that I have to uproot my daughter. She is only 2 1/2 but she enjoys her own room and toys and I just don't want to traumatize her. Not to mention the fact that I don't want my parents looking over my shoulder constantly. I dont want them parenting my child. I love them dearly and so does dd, but I want to remain the parent!!! I know it will be hard for them not to interfere. thanks for the thoughts and believe me,as soon as we somehow get enough money for a down payment we will be looking around. (that could take an extremely long time though)

kel

Avatar for mquin73
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 12:22pm

Hugs Kel.


signature 2008

Avatar for mquin73
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 12:28pm

Hi Kel,


I know I already responded to your post, but I had to respond to your comment about traumatizing your 2 1/2 yo dd.


signature 2008

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 12:53pm
Thanks ladies. first of all, I am sure that my landlord lists the rent on his taxes. We just never had a formal written lease with him. Thats the problem!

As for my daughter, well I guess I am just worried about taking away her space.. do you know what I mean? We would be living out of one bedroom at my parents house. My parents said they would put things in storage to make room for her toys in the living room, but its not quite the same. She enjoys her room. She goes in there with the dog and just plays and plays. I don't want her to lose that freedom and "alone time". I think I am also thinking about MY alone time! I will have none!!

kel

-who loves this board so much!

Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-24-2004 - 1:13pm

Hey Kel - don't get ahead of yourself!

All my best,
Danni

Avatar for mymartes
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 10:23am
Sorry you have to go through this. I know what you mean about not wanting to move in w/parent.

When my husband and I came back home to NY from CA (I was 5 months pregnant w/my twins), we moved in w/my parents. We put our stuff in storage and lived in a bedroom. When my twins were born (two months later). We were crammed in the same bedroom. It helped for a while, financially but believe me..not emotionally. Few months later, we found a three bedroom apartment.

My parents own a two family house. I am not sure about the law in your state. However, in my state (NY), if you don't have a lease, the owner has to give u a 30 day notice to vacant the apartment.

Good luck to you. Hang in there. Try to think that it will be temporarily.

P.S. My twins (boy/girl) will be three years old next month. They share a bedroom. My husband uses the third bedroom as a home office. The apartment is getting small for us. I understand you wanting a bedroom for your DD. We are finally able to buy our own home. In fact, we are building a new one.


MYM

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 10:26am

I agree with everyone else!!