discouraged

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
discouraged
10
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 10:57pm
Hi everyone. I'm new to this site. I am recently divorced and I don't have enough money to pay all my bills. I am working as an administrative assistant, but it's not enough. I am just barely able to pay my utlilities and I am behind in my mortgage & home improvement loan. I'm afraid of losing my home. I am trying to find better paying work, I just finished my Bachelor of Business degree 1 year ago (I have student loans), but the job market is tough-sent out at least 50 resumes. I'm going to court next month to increase the child support, for 1 child, but in the mean time, money is very tight. I know I need help with budgeting, but I get so discouraged every time I see that pile of bills. I also am diagnosed with depression and have been hospitalized for stress related illness, so I am wary of getting part time work on top of a full time job. I spoke with a bankrupcy lawyer, but he said it may not help me-I am 'only' $7800 in unsecured debt, most of it on one credit card, which I no longer use. I feel like I'm in a painful holding pattern. I just wish I could have enough money to meet expenses and live comfortably-have some pressure taken off.
Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: catsilvermoon
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 10:19am

Welcome to the board!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
In reply to: catsilvermoon
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 10:37am
Hello and welcome,

Could you take in a roomate, someone who could pay enough each month to cover a good chunk of the mortgage?




iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: catsilvermoon
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 1:49pm
Hi. Are you on good terms with your ex? Do you know that there is a legal basis for increasing the cs? If so, perhaps if you tell your ex you may loose the house he will agree to up the cs now, especially if he knows you'll win an increase anyway and if he cares about your child being able to stay living in the same home.

I have found that student loans can be deferred for just about any reason. Mine were deferred for years after having my daughter, as having a child under 2 qualifies for deferment. Then they went back to repayment and I didn't have enough money. Since my credit was finally back on track, I didn't want a new delinquency on my credit report. So I called them and went through the list of things that qualify you for deferrment. I didn't qualify under any of the reasons listed, so the customer service guy said, well, you just don't have the money to pay right now? And I said no, and he said, well, that qualifies you for another year deferrment. It wasn't the best choice financially, but it meant I could keep paying my other bills and stay afloat. Also, are your student loans consolidated? That process takes months and you get a reprieve from payment during that time usually. I had consolidated mine when I graduated in 1997 and just found out you can reconsolidate a previous consolidation loan and take advantage of today's lower interest. I think my interest rate now is less than 4%, and with a new longer payment plan, my monthly payment dropped about in 1/2. I can give you the name of the company I consolidated with if you like.

I would say above all else make sure your mortgage and home improvement loan get paid first. You don't want to be out of a home. Call them and see if you can talk to them about ways to get caught up and stay caught up. Call your other creditors too and see if any of them can work with you at least for the short term. Just explain your situation, and see what they can offer. You might be surprised.

I know it's is hard, but if you take a good look at what you're spending you might be able to eek out another hundred dollars a month to put toward bills. Sometimes taking a positive step will get you on the right track.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
In reply to: catsilvermoon
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 7:33pm
(((Hugs))) I understand how you feel. I am so stressed and depressed, its all because of our financial situation. Sometimes I wish I could just get a new identity and start all over fresh. lol I wish! *sigh*
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
In reply to: catsilvermoon
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 8:29pm
Thanks for your support. I do have the loans consolidated & in defferment. My ex 'said' he was willing to help out then complained about giving any money because he doesn't live here! That's why I'm going to court-so he understands he needs to help support his son. I've tried to reason with him, but I feel so humiliated any time I have to ask for money. I've always tried to tie it to a specific bill so he knows I'm not just spending it frivolously. I am seeing a counselor & working with the mortgage & the bank for the home improvement loan. My goal is to stay in the house at least until my son graduates from H.S. in June. I'm trying to focus on what is going well in my life-my relationship with my kids (2 are out of the house), my job, which I love, but it doesn't pay as much as I'd like, my pets, my art, my friends. It's just that I get overwhelmed with the finances at times. Thanks again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
In reply to: catsilvermoon
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 8:33pm
Thanks you. It feels good just to be able to vent. I guess that there is a silver lining-the identity thieves won't take ours! lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
In reply to: catsilvermoon
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 8:37pm
Thank you. I will check those out. My student loans are consolidated & in deferrment. It's nice to be able to vent.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
In reply to: catsilvermoon
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 8:48pm
Way to think postive LOL I never thought about it that way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2004
In reply to: catsilvermoon
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 8:48pm
That's what one friend suggested also, but I don't know anyone I could trust that well and would be able to pay. Thanks for the suggestion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
In reply to: catsilvermoon
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 1:15pm
have you thought about credit couns. programs? they usually get your interest rates down ect...