Saying "No" to charities during the ..

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Registered: 06-18-2004
Saying "No" to charities during the ..
10
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 11:09am

holidays?

How do you say no, or do you.

It seems like during the holiday season, I am being hit up left right and crazy for charitable giving this time of year. I know it is okay to say no, but there are sometimes that I feel it is easier to just give in.

DH and I already give to our church every week, we give to two charities (one cancer and one service related) every month (to the tune of $100 a month to charity with just those three) and now I am being hit up by church for the local food bank, the Angel tree program and I just found out that a group DH is involved with wants to put together a basket to auction in FEB but everything has to be turned in by DEC 15. To me it is all just too much.

Charities rely on our feelings of goodness during the holidays, I understand that, but sometimes it just goes too far.

Any thoughts/suggestions?

Kellie

Avatar for cl_phocid
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 12:19pm

"We're not in a position to help this year."

All my best,
Danni

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Registered: 09-22-1999
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 4:35pm

I think it is okay to decline to give, esp. when your own needs are more pressing like debt time.......

I, too, am hit up constantly at the holidays for donations for everything.......another line I use is "I already gave." ...and that ends the push quickly......ok, a white lie, but I don't have to explain away when it's no one else's business why I can't.......

Also, people at work are all pushing me to buy food and stuff that their churches/charities are selling, but really, a lot of it is just empty calories........

Don't forget, too, that kids do end up in activities that you have to contribute to, but you can limit the amount you spend on that,and when it's gone, it's gone.

I'm just one of those maybe hard-edged or hard-headed people that has a hard time with giving giving giving all the time. I have been disappointed when I have found out how the money was spent sometimes, so I have held back from making large contributions.

Just my 2 cents,

Littlesbigs

Avatar for mquin73
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 11:14pm

I don't know why charities hit up on everyone around the holidays.


signature 2008

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2003
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 12:36am

I get all crabby and stressed around the holidays anyhow, so it's not hard for me to say NO, lol.

Actually, if the requests come in the mail, and I haven't asked for information, it's likely to end up in the garbage. If it's a phone call, well, I don't answer the phone anyhow, so they can talk to the machine. If it's in person, I tell the nice people that I would like time to think about it-I just don't specify how MUCH time, lol.

I know that sounds pretty passive-aggressive, and maybe it is, but it works. We do give-we all have our charities that are near and dear to our hearts that we donate to. Mostly, we try to give locally, like to the food shelf or the school.

That's also part of why we're getting out of debt-so that someday, we'll be able to give just because!

Lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 12:01pm

I used to work for a tele-fundraising centre once, at my old university. One of the most common lines I received was "I'm sorry, we already have a couple of select charities that we like to contribute to".

Personally, I give $10 a month to the SPCA. They are a charity near and dear to my heart, so no one can sway me to contribute elsewhere. It's not much, but when I literally only have about $50 a month to work with after bills sometimes, it's enough. People have actually asked me if I really care more about animals than humans, and I smile and say, "do you really want me to answer that?" LOL. Hey, someone has to help those poor critters.

My office does an annual toy and food drive at Christmas, and I do bring in some items for that. When I was a child and my parents were seperated, my mom was a full-time student on welfare raising two kids with minimal child support. We received more than one charity hamper at Christmas over those few years, and I will forever remember how grateful my mom was for it.










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Registered: 09-21-2004
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 9:04pm
You can't give what you don't have. I know, I feel bad when I have to say no but you can't let yourself be one of those people the charity is helping lol. I would pick one or two charities you really want to help if you can, and just do that. You can't do it all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 11:46am

Hi everyone,

Hope nobody minds a post from a lurcher. I give all year long directly from my pay check to several chartities and then give a set amount to a different charity every month. This has been my system for the past 5 years.

What gets me is the charities that have staff who call and say that appreciated my donation last year and would I be able to donate again this year-when I have never given to them. I find it sickening that they would purposely lie to me by trying to guilt me into giving them money. I tell them that I know they are lying and that because of there dishonesty they will never receive a donation from me. I also send a letter to there headquaters and call the local fraud line. I have to do this quite often because I average 2-4 calls from charities a week.

I'm sure they are plenty of people, especially seniors, who fall for that line. Truly sickening.

Lynne

Edit: Just wanted to add that the charities I do give to no not to contact me. I'm on their do not contact lists, and they've been warned that if they do repeatedly call I will stop giving to them. It sounds harsh, but I get enough charity calls as it is. I dropped one of my charities recently because they kept calling asking for more. I understand that they have a need but 8 calls in one year (8 month period) asking for more money is too much. I've already given-be thankful and move on. Between my work donations and my monthly donations plus buying stuff from the local school children I give 10-15% ($4000) of my net pay to charity. $4000 would be a pretty nice vacation. Enough is enough.




Edited 11/18/2004 11:54 am ET ET by lynnegirl24
Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 2:16pm

I approach the charity line of the budget, which is entirely discretionary giving, by looking at it relative to other discretionary items. While we do not tithe, as in a strict 10-percent of net income giving - I do try to look at charity relative to things like clothing, haircuts & drycleaning, entertainment, etc. Within the framework of whatever I've decided to spend on charity, I decide *how* I want to spend it. Some of it goes to my parish, some to other selected charities, and some is not earmarked for anything, so I can use it for those things that "come up" - a friend running a race for charity, supplies for a retreat weekend for the disabled, a Christmas giving tree, etc. - things where I feel some pressure to participate or simply want to participate. Beyond that, I don't feel obligated to do more than I can afford.

Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 1:09am

Hi everyone ~

I just wanted to add a thought. Sometimes something that is much more valuable to a charity is giving TIME instead of $$$. That is, volunteering.

So, if you are unable to give financially, but still want to help, consider volunteering - there are countless ways to serve: become a big sister, babysit at a homeless shelter, mentor a teen mom, become a CASA volunteer, help at a nursing home, answer calls at a local crisis hotline, deliver meals to homebound residents, teach an illiterate person how to read, play a board game with a terminally ill child at a hospital, become a HOSPICE volunteer, rock a drug-addicted baby, volunteer with a Rape crisis center, serve meal at a soup kitchen, organize food in a food pantry, help out with a Christmas party at a children's shelter, etc. etc. etc.

Volunteers are definitely needed around the holidays, but are needed much more at other times of the year. (I know that from experience.)

There are lots of opportunities out there and it can be much more meaningful that giving a few dollars! (Not that giving financially isn't, but volunteering is a great way to give.)

Have a grrrrreat day!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 1:07pm

Just a note - while many human-aid charities benefit at Christmas-time, animal shelters and other mainstream charities like the Cancer Society suffer greatly at this time of year, because everyone is putting their money towards food banks and toy drives. Not that that's a bad thing, I was a recipient of those benefits myself when I was a child.

If you are buying presents, but want to give to charities at the same time, you can kill two birds with one stone by making a charitable donation in someone else's name. Last Christmas, I symbolically "adopted" a wolf cub and polar bear for my mom and sister through the World Wildlife Fund. I did something good, and my mom and sister were immensely happy with the gift. They both said it was better than any material thing I could ever have given them.








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