The Emotional Aspect of Debt Freedom...
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The Emotional Aspect of Debt Freedom...
| Sat, 11-20-2004 - 5:41pm |
I was thinking that since becoming debt free, or for those who have paid off a lot of debt, how has it affected you emotionally?
Has your attitude and behaviour changed in respect to being more in control of your financial life? Do your interactions with others differ?
Do you feel a sense of well-being, peace, tranquility or are you still somewhat stressed or worried that you might somehow end up where you started or worse?
Kassandra

This past summer, I refinanced my house mortgage and took out enough to settle my outstanding debts, which was about $10k. I had experienced financial difficulties for the year or two before that - largely due to incurring too much debt - so this was a welcome relief for me. Most of my debt happened because of a separation/divorce several years ago, and difficulties learning to live on considerably less income. After incurring scads of debt in the first few years, I spent the last two years or so learning to live within my means, and worked hard at not incurring new debt. So by the time I remortgaged - which I was required to do as my house was given to me in the final divorce - I had cemented new habits.
How do I feel? FREE!! For the first time since my ex left me, I paid my real estate taxes on time. I have a small amount of money in the bank for non-monthly expenses, and I recently set up an ING account for an emergency fund. Although I have very little in that account, I am on the right track. A consolidation loan through my credit union (not settled by my mortgage) was paid off last month, and that money goes to my savings automatically. I drive a 10 year old car, but refuse to sink money into a new one until I can afford a downpayment, and the payments on the balance.
As I sit back and watch my accounts slowly grow, I smile. Every day at my job I hear people complain about being broke, while they are shoveling out money on car loans, 4-wheelers, snowmobiles, credit cards -- you name it. I may not own the toys, but I am determined to have equity. I am determined - despite making a small income - to be cash rich. When I have 3-6 months living expenses socked away, and money in reserve for non-monthly bills, I will begin to build investments. I may never be rich by some standards, but if I can afford what I want in cash, then I will have considered myself wealthy.
'Tis a glorious feeling, being debt free :)
I'm really scared that I will end up in the same situation. Reference my post about my car (Nov. 23)...
I don't go out or do much and I am cheap with myself. I don't make much money and now I've taken a leap into the unknown by quitting my job and deciding to move. I would love to buy a Christmas party dress, but it looks like that frivolity will be replaced by a new battery for my piece of #$%^& car. I still feel constrained, broke and the lack of freedom that goes along with all those feelings of being in debt. Even though I don't owe countless dollars on credit cards anymore, I still don't feel free or able to do what I want because I still don't have $$. That will come with a new job (which could be a long way off) in the career that I went to school years ago for.
I did have feelings of elation and freedom and happiness when the debt was gone, but those are gone now and I just feel poor still since I still have to be really careful with money and still can't be frivolous. I should be able to buy a Christmas party dress, but I feel that would be really irresponsible. That was *before* it looked like I would have to buy a new car battery. I guess the bottom line is that even though it no longer have piles of debt, I still don't have piles of money so there isn't the freedom from watching every penny...and then that has been compounded by buying my junk car which has made the whole experience worse.
I think that if/when I have a secure/better paying job, the feelings of fear of new debt will subside and I will finally be able to really enjoy having paid off the debt. I would be ecstatic to arrive at the point in my life of not having cc debt, and having a job where I could afford a car payment. I would WELCOME that kind of debt!!
I just read your post (after I made my first post to this thread) and I wanted to say thanks.
Even though I still feel broke/poor/constrained by not having "play" money, I am actually living within my means. So even though I feel broke, I can now see that living within my means to keep out of debt is a huge accomplishment for me to have made, since the not living within my means for years was how and why I got into so much debt for so long. So I DO have something to feel good about and be proud of. THANKS!
Well, physically, I sleep better, and eat better. And DH and I were able to join a health club with what *used* to be my monthly interest payment on credit card debt.
Emotionally, I too hear and see people at work who are broke, but making more than I am. I feel much more secure. But I'm also a lot harder on myself now. The bar is raised. I'm aware of my finances now, and I want to manage them much, much better.
DH and I both went a little hog-wild after getting out of our respective debt, and have been living *at* our means, instead of below. So we didn't save much, and we don't have much to show for working all year. We didn't go further into debt, but DH especially is kicking himself over how much he didn't save. He's been compulsively going over and over his finances, wondering where he 'went wrong'. Poor guy.
My new car payment takes up half my take-home pay, but I was mistaken about my car insurance - it's only 40% of my car payment amount, not equal to my car payment amount. This will leave me with a couple hundred dollars left over every month, and I really want to build my savings back up. I've been 'borrowing' from it all year, so now my $10K is down to $5500.
Lee Ann
Lee Ann
www.werenotafraid.com
I have had an obsession most of my life - wierd - but while driving down the highways, I often scan the ditches looking for dead bodies (sorry, can't help it), and especially the undersides of underpasses looking for homeless people.
Since gaining control of our finances and debt, I've had an idea where this obsession comes from: I think it's a reminder to myself about where I've been, and how precarious my situation is.... I could have been that body in the ditch, or that homeless person sleeping under the bridge. It could still happen, but this wierd obsession is growing weaker as I gain more trust in my ability to manage my life. Not just financially, but in all areas of life.
It's kind of a snowball effect. As I've gained control of one small part, I am encouraged to do more, then more, and more. Success feeds on itself, and it spreads. I feel more in control of not just my debt, but also my personal relationships, health, and plans for the future.
I hope I never see that dead body, and I pray the homeless people find safe shelter. Maybe the next step in my life is to find ways to help, ya think?
Leta
&nbs