Explaing X-mas budget to the kids?
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Explaing X-mas budget to the kids?
| Mon, 11-29-2004 - 9:02am |
Ok I have a 6 year old and an almost 3 year old...how does one explain to them that Santa mentioned that he can only bring 3 gifts this year....especailly when they talk to their friends who got everything under the sun (or Toys R Us rooftop anyway)? My 3 year old will care less but my 6 yr old will have MANY questions!!! And from mom and dad they each get PJ's, a book, slippers, and one small toy. So your idea's?
TIA!!!
TIA!!!

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I wouldn't say anything at all about the amount of presents under the tree, unless asked. I really think that kids are so wound up and excited on xmas with what they DID get that they don't stop to count. Also, they are smaller--less always looks like more to them than it does to us. If I had to offer an explanation, I would say that there were more kids this year and Santa needed to be able to leave gifts for everyone. That should cover it because kids also seem to have an innate sense of fairness.
Hope this helps!
BK
I agree.
Becky
CL of 4th, 5th & 6th grade Scoliosis
I don't think kids really know how much things actually cost, so even if they get lots of cheaper toys, they don't realize how much mom and dad spent. I agree with a previous poster that if kids get too much, they are so overwhelmed they don't know what to do.
I remember a couple of years ago at Christmas dinner, my SIL was complaining they didn't have enough money to buy my nephew glasses. Two seconds later, she said she didn't get the diamond earrings she wanted for Christmas. Ummm that might have been because they spent over $1000 for my neice and nephew--EACH not combined. That is just ridiculous.
BTW, their children are very spoiled. Anytime you can't afford the glasses your child needs because you spent too much on Christmas your priorities need to be set straight.
Now, how to explain the budget to kids. My advice--don't.
This year, as my DD was listing off things she wanted from Santa, I explained to her that Santa had more children to buy for this year and while he could afford two things for each child last year, he sent a note to all parents and said he could only afford one thing this year. She understands and that way, the one thing she really, really, really wants is the one thing she will get. It worked last year. I heard her tell more than one Santa exactly what she wanted last year and it was the same two things over and over. Even though Santa would ask is that all, she consistently said yes.
I don't want to raise children who expect to get everything they want without thinking of others and I hope I am on the right road.
HTH,
Kellie
I grew up in a rather wealthy mining town, where the average household income (ONE working parent) was about $70K per year. My family was not one of those. When I went back to school after the Christmas break, all the other kids would be bragging about all the things they'd gotten for Christmas - expensive toys, video games, bikes or sleds, etc.
I remember asking my mom how come some of the other kids got an Atari system and I didn't, even though I'd asked Santa for one. She calmly told me that she and Dad had to pay Santa for what he brought. At the time, it seemed a perfectly acceptable answer.
*If* my kids ever ask, that is what I will tell them, too.
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I remember the other kids at school getting many more gifts than I did. The only thing I was ever really disappointed with was getting a clarinet instead of drums! (I knew that would never happen) Times were so tight that one Christmas I remember getting a big can of instant iced tea mix. You have to understand I was in love with the stuff and it wasn't something we bought. There were a few other little things too, but I remember the iced tea and the love behind it. I don't remember when I realized Santa was really Mom & Dad, but I was always happy with what they gave me.
BTW -- My DD is 3 and asked for a pink car. I hope she means for her dolls.
Sandra
I wouldn't say anything unless asked. I remember getting a lot of presents as a kid, but most were from aunts and uncles. I think my sisters and I each got one gift from Santa, and I don't remember thinking anything about it. All my cousins got one thing from Santa too, so there were no issues there. I do remember wondering how Santa knew which house we were at - we usually spent the night at one of my aunt's houses.
I do remember my friends and I listing off what we got, but I don't remember thinking they got more from Santa, I remember thinking they got more stuff from their parents and grandparents.
Well... we don't have this problem really because we treat Santa pretty much the way we treat Elmo or Frosty the Snowman--we don't make a point to say he's "not real," but we don't act like he *is* real, either. I don't think my almost-four-year-old really thinks it's Santa bringing gifts--I don't think it's occurred to him that such a thing might happen. So, there's no issue of "why Santa brought more gifts to the other children."
But on another issue, I wanted to address the sense of wealth versus a sense of poverty at the holidays. I think most of us are where we are (i.e., in debt) because at one time or another we have bought into the consumer myth that more "stuff" will make our lives better, happier, etc. And I think most of us would like our children to grow up with different priorities. At least, I know I would.
So what we are trying to do is put the focus elsewhere. Our children will have stockings to look at on Christmas morning, with minor treats in them. They will each have one gift from us, and three or four gifts from family. They also have been getting minor things from friends and through gift exchanges (all used items).
But the gift getting is not central to our celebration. Instead, we focus on being together, on creating rituals and traditions, on being grateful for what we do have.
Now, admittedly, my oldest is not quite four, so I haven't faced the same issues as those with older chidren. But I think when it comes time to answer questions about why we don't have as much "stuff" as their friends, I want to answer those questions from a place of plenty, not a place of poverty. By that I mean, when they want to know why I won't buy them the latest glitzy plastic toy, I want to tell them it's because we work hard to own a wonderful house so they can have a backyard, and we save our money so some day we can live in the country and so that their dad can be home with us much of the day, and so on. I want to frame it in terms of the things we *are* doing with our money, not in terms of the things we are not. Earlier in our journey, my answer might have had to do with how we were using our money so that I wouldn't always have to work at nights and could be home with them instead, and so on. Others might be at a point where they will say that they are saving the money so that they can keep the things they already have and not have to worry about losing it because they can't pay for it. Or whatever.
Anyway, this year so many good things have happened to my family, and I just want my children to grow up knowing that we *are* wealthy--we just don't choose to buy the things that others do, and that is *why* we are wealthy.
Hugs and blessings,
Heather
Hi everyone,
We don't have kids, but I wanted to offer my support and encouragement on this topic.
My mother would have NEVER answered this question when I was little. On the contrary, she would have used the opportunity to instill the "there are people less fortunate than you" value.
She did this no matter what time of year it was.....if I said I didn't have anything to wear, etc. Consequently, I grew up being forced to recognize what I DID have rather than focusing on what I did NOT have. I think it's an amazing life skill she taught me.
I love the earlier post about the can of iced tea! When I was little, my friend's dad gave her a jar of olives for her b-day because they were her favorite food in the world. I don't remember a SINGLE gift any of my friends ever received, but I do remember that jar of olives.
All I really ever cared about on Christmas Day was the magic, the lights on the tree, getting up at dawn, the music, Christmas cookies at breakfast, etc.
I think all the suggestions were great. Your kids are going to believe whatever you tell them, because they love and trust you. Happy holidays!
Melanie
Edited 11/29/2004 9:41 pm ET ET by melanie302
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