I hate the holidays....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
I hate the holidays....
12
Thu, 12-09-2004 - 1:07pm

I hate this time of year. I don't even want to go to my family's house for Christmas. I'd rather stay home alone. I have no money to buy anyone anything. My credit cards are taking all my money. I just gave half of my next paycheck away (the last paycheck I get before Christmas) because Wells Fargo was going to send my account to a lawyer today. I had to pay it or I would be sued.

Has anyone ever been sued by a credit card before? What happens?

I owe another $150 on another card that paycheck, plus about $100 each on 3 other cards. That takes up all of my paycheck and then some. What do I have left over? NOTHING. Not even some money so maybe I can buy some food and gas for myself. I get NOTHING.

I work and work and work and I don't even get paid! I feel like a slave! And I have a professional job - I have a bachelor's degree and five years of experience in my field. And I do really good work. When I graduated college, I was so excited about making money, but my boss pays me crap. Should I tell him about my debt problems? I am a good person - why am I being punished like this?

I rang up a lot of my debt when I was married, because I was trying to save my marriage by going on vacations and out to eat, then I rang up more debt when I separated (at age 23 because my ex was abusive) because I had to pay rent on my own and it was so hard going from two incomes to one, then I was laid off from my job and unemployed for 8 months. Finally I get a job, but the pay is way less than what I used to make. And so therefore, I'm just stuck in this dark hole, drowning, with my head barely above water and its sinking. I hate this. I hate the holidays. I hate feeling like a slave. I want to make money like everyone else does and have things like clothes that fit and aren't faded (I'm supposed to wear nice suits to work), my hair cut (my split ends just look horrible), and maybe something to eat for lunch besides crackers. This is so depressing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Thu, 12-09-2004 - 1:50pm

Hugs. I know the feeling. Although I am not living it right now, I have lived it. And there's not much you can do. My only suggestion would be to see if you can find a job making more money. That's what I did. I just left the company and when asked why, I said, cuz I don't make enough to live, and you say you can't give me any more.


That's the only solution. I'm still living to pay debt, but it's not so much a hardship as I see it is for you. Personally, I WOULD skip the holidays. But then, I knw I'd be really depressed. But I do better being depressed alone, than trying to fake it.


Hugs. You're not alone. Wish I could send you some money. At least for some tuna for the crackers.








my pet!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2003
Thu, 12-09-2004 - 5:50pm
Just wanted to send you a cyber <> to say you're not alone about the holidays, and there will be an end to this one day. I would also start a search for another position. No harm in looking.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Thu, 12-09-2004 - 6:53pm

Take heart, I know this sucks right now but this is not a permanent situation, things can change. When I was 25 I was in law school, making $8.50 an hour leaving in a $100 sublet which was full of cockroaches, eating a jar of peanut butter to subsist. And still avoiding the phone because it was just one collection agent after another hounding me for money I just didn't have! It's not just you and many of the people you see living these shiny, happy lives are doing it all on plastic, their hangover will come next month, believe me. I don't know if you just want to vent, I have ideas but I know sometimes a person doesn't want suggestions, just a chance to say how you feel. Anyway, hang tough.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2004
Fri, 12-10-2004 - 2:35am
You have one big thing on your side--youth. Yes, change jobs, but during the time you were out ot work you made one big mistake that you should not make again; you did not grab anything to bring in cash. You made the same mistake alot of trained young people make. You have a special job description and wait for just that job to come. Instead you should have waitressed and bagged groceries, anything to bring in cash. Any money is better then nothing. I hope you have learned that no relationship can be held together by spending on stuff. Vacations are stuff. Fancy dinners are stuff. Big screen t.v.'s are stuff. None of that fixes problems. Maybe you should see a lawyer about declaring bankrupsey. At least you may be able to start with a clean slate. It might be worth it in the long run. Try going to monster.com and scope out jobs that may pay more.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Fri, 12-10-2004 - 9:07am

BIG HUGS TO YOU!!

I have been right where you are. My debt that I'm paying off comes mostly from car repairs after I had gotten divorced at 25. I barely made enough to pay the rent and bills, and many times I had almost nothing to eat. I was skin and bones. I remember that Christmas I didn't spend Thanksgiving with my family and I only went to Christmas Eve dinner because that is my dad's b'day. I was living in shame from my divorce even though he had kicked me out and divorced me. My cat ate better than I did. But I survived and so will you. There were times when the ppl at my job gave me leftovers from their lunch or baked me some goodies and they had no idea what I was going through. NO ONE knew. I'm praying that you will also be visited by guardian angels so at least you can eat something to keep up your strength. I had to really count my blessings when I was so down and isolated - I had a roof over my head, clothes on my back, some food, and heating and air. I was not on the street. And I had a car even if I had to charge all repairs and maintenance on it.

big hugs,
slojuly

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 12-10-2004 - 2:23pm

Thank you so much for your words of support! That is really all I need right now.

I totalled up my debt last night. $18,800 - all credit cards.

One is only $1700 and they want $150/month! Another is $1700 and they only want $55? What is up with that?

Then I have this ridiculous card that is $8400, over the limit by $4000, and the minimum amout due is like $1400! Ha! I just have to laugh at that!

I have another that is $3700 I haven't paid on it since June. So, I got the notice it was going to charge off status, they were sending it to a lawyer, and I had to send them $400 yesterday. So, my next paycheck is gone, because I had already promised $150 each to two other cards.

As far as getting another job when I was unemployed, I did collect $320 a week on unemployment for 6 months. That is $8 clear, so about the same as making $10/hour. So, I would have had to find a job making more than $10/hour to make it worth it. What killed me is that my stupid boyfriend who lived with me at the time also lost his job, so we were both living off my unemployment (big mistake, yes).

Do you think I will ever be able to pay off this $18,800 in credit card debt? If so, what would it take? Or should I file bankruptcy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 12-10-2004 - 2:33pm

I definitely think you can pay it off, first thing that needs to happen though, is NO more charging anything. Just take it one day and one debt at a time and stick with us here, we can all help eachother get through the times when we think it's absolutely impossible.

As for your two cards with the same balances and different minimums, it all depends on what % of your balance they are requiring for a minimum payment. It is a strange thing for sure. I would pay the one with the highest APR first since they have the same balance. What are you doing about the one that is $4000 over the limit? I am shocked that they let you get that high over your limit.

I know it seems hopeless right now, but take a deep breath and you can do this! I know you can, it's just hard and takes a lot of patience and desire. Keep us all posted and know that we are here for you anytime. Hope that helps a little bit.
~leanne

~leanne

deciding to be happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, but that you had decided to look beyond the imp

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Fri, 12-10-2004 - 3:28pm

I am confident that there is hope for everyone. YOu made the best start, counting up what you owe so now you know what you're dealing with. The next step is to make a REALISTIC budget, your gameplan. I don't know why cc companies do what they do. But the bottom line is that you must pay them, regardless. There are tons of great resources that you can use to help in budgeting. And there is also a board for that. Check out the snowflake site that Becky has. You will see that there are others with far worse debt than yours, and it also has some great ideas. The importance is being diligent and following through with your budget exactly. Of course it can change as you begin to pay down your debts and if your income changes.

Is there a way you can earn some extra cash to go towards snowflaking on a bill? When I was in a bad way, I worked with an insurance company during the day then earned extra money by helping some of the insurance guys with filing after hours. I don't work for the same ppl anymore, but I do tutor on the side for extra cash. A second source of income will help, if it's possible. You can do anything....even work from home doing something. Check out every possibility you can.

It will be rough for awhile. We have all had to make sacrifices. This is the biggest motivator to get out of debt for me. I"m tired of my money past haunting me. I am a month away from being credit card debt-free. (I still have a car note that I'm happy to pay - that is another story.)

I would not encourage anyone to file for bankruptcy unless that is the final and last resort after having consulted professionals and every single resource. That will be on your record a longggggggg time.

A book I highly recommend reading is Mary Hunt's "The Financially Confident Woman." She tells her story (which is worse than yours) and gives great tips.

I personally did the Crown Financial Study, which is religious-based, but the same money managing principles apply as other programs.

Some ppl here like Suze Orman.

We're here for you. Just keep asking questions and don't forget to make your budget. That will save you, and you will know exactly where you're at and where you're going.

hugs,
slojuly

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Fri, 12-10-2004 - 10:31pm
Why are your credit card payments so high? Can you free up some money by joining a consumer credit counselling plan? What state do you live in? If a creditor sues you they of course will get a judgement, but in certain states judgements are pretty uncollectable. It depends. If your state allows garnishing of wages, the creditor can garnish your paycheck after the judgement is made. If you live in a nice, cheap, proconsumer state (like Texas) that doesn't allow garnishment of wages, you are better off. Is relocating an option to lower costs of living?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 10:19am

Thanks for all the words of support.

I wanted to respond to a few things...

First of all, I haven't charged anything on my cards in two years. I haven't been allowed to charge anything on them in two years. I did sign up for a credit counseling plan two years ago, however it took months and months, actually about a year, for each of my cards to agree to the plan. During that time, I continued to collect late fees on some of my cards, which is why I am so high over the credit limit.

Although I am $18,800 in debt, I would guess that AT LEAST $3000 of that debt has been added late fees incurred during the past two years.

The credit counseling agency really screwed me over in the end. When I signed up for it, I agreed to only pay about $320 a month, which I could afford. But in the end, it was about $400 a month, since each of my cards wanted more money each month than the credit counseling agency proposed. Plus, since each card would continue to call me and ask for money, I always had to pay even more each month than the $400.

I cancelled my credit counseling plan about 5 months ago, after missing two payments. Do you think I could get resigned up? Do you have any recommendations for another credit counseling agency, someone that could really help deal with some very diliquent credit card accounts - I'm talking in charge off status - which I think is the worst status you can be at. After an account is charged off, it gets sent to a lawyer. A charge off happens when you haven't paid anything to a card in many months. I think charge offs stay on your credit rating for 7 years, same as bankruptcy. So, thats why I was thinking about filing for bankruptcy. What is worse - charge offs or bankruptcy?

I just agreed to pay $340 on a card that I haven't been able to make a payment on since June. Many of you recommend that I pay my cards with the highest APR off first, however, how can I get away with not making payments on my other cards? Won't they continue to collect late fees and eventually go into charge off status?

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