To help out or not????

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2004
To help out or not????
2
Thu, 12-09-2004 - 2:22pm

My little sister is having serious financial issues, far worse than mine. She had been working as an exotic dancer for the past two years (despite the family's obvious objections). She was pretty sucessful and made far money than I did, even after college when I got a "real job." She is 21 and had made the decision to not go to college, or at least not now. She used to shop all the tme and not save much. A couple months ago she bought a new car (and has to pay very high NJ insurance plus her 400$/ month payment).

In the past she has had issues with depression. She had been acting strange for a month or so (not depressed, but very hyper and unnaturally happy, not sleeping ect.) I figured it was a response to the situation going on with our mother (who is very sick and in a nursing home). She ended up having a mental breakdown. She was hospitalized and diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She now has huge medical bills, and can't work until she is treated. Her medication alone is 500$ a month. So she has big bills, and no income. She has applied for charity care. Her car has disability insurance, so until she is better her payments are on hold (but interest still incrues).

She has an insurance bill due tomorrow. It's only 700$, but that's 700$ she doesn't have. She has helped me before in the past, so I kinda feel like I should help her. She plans on just not paying it, and risking having her policy canceled, which in NJ automatically puts you in a high risk insurance catagory (translation...big bucks).

Any insight on this situation would be appreciated...Thanks....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 12-09-2004 - 2:43pm
Since it's car insurance and not a credit card bill, I would help her out. Although she may not have been responsible by saving some of her past income, it is really hard to anticipate medical expenses and having to be out of work due to that, especially when you are 21. Do you have $700 to give her for it, or would you be borrowing it from a cc? If you help her, you could still expect her to pay you back with interest when she is back to work.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 12-09-2004 - 2:52pm
Hugs! This is a really tough situation to be in. I would suggest helping your sister find ways to help her situation. I think NJ has a program for medical assitance, but I do not remember the name of it. Is it medical insurance you are thinking of paying or car insurance? If she has medical insurance, it is very important for her to keep her existing plan. A new insurance company may deny a claim for an existing condition.
As far as loaning money, you need to consider how it will impact you if you never get it back (or if you even expect to get it back). Money disputes can destroy relationships beyond repair.
My personal philosophy is to help out with things, like food, shelter & medicine, rather than giving money. I have actually done both in the past and for me, mentally, there is a difference between giving someone $200 or buying them groceries. I always expect to get the money back. Never the groceries.
Good luck and I hope your sister is OK
Sandra