OT....A little angry (Long)
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| Mon, 12-27-2004 - 8:52pm |
My husband's best friend works for the same company. This morning. My husband calls me from work. He tells me that his best friend told him that he should have not gotten him anything for christmas, if he was going to get him something from the 99 cent store. Can you believe how ungrateful some people are. This is his best friend. He knows we are tight financially. He told my husband that he didn't expect that from us. Also that he has plenty of shaving stuff. He was laughing at my husband's face.
I had bought him shaving cream, a pack of razors, after-shave gel and lotion. I put them in a wicker basket and wrapped it in cellophane wrap and tied it with a christmas ribbon. For his wife, I bought her a scented body wash and lotion, ramie bath sponge and mitten. I also wrapped it in cellophane wrap and tied it with a christmas ribbon. I placed each gift in a separate christmas gift bag. Yes...I did get it from the 99 cent store. However, I always thought that in terms of gift giving, it's the thought that counts. My husband felt bad. I just feel angry. The guy is a real jerk.
He also told my husband that his sister-in-law (his wife's sister) gave him a tire gauge key chain. Obviously, he didn't appreciate that either. A few days before christmas, he was telling my husband that he spent $1,000 in christmas gifts.
Now....am i in the wrong here? My husband is telling me, i should have gotten him a sweater or something. Take note..that i had told my husband what i was going to buy for them before i bought it.
Boy...i'm so angry at his best friend. For his birthday, my husband takes him out to lunch and buys him a gift (shirts). For his wedding, my husband was the best man. He supposedly was going to give my husband a bracelet as a present for being his best man. Nothing!!!! My husband didn't care about that.
Sorry to rant so much, but i'm pissed. Thanks for reading.
MYM

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Kimberly
Thanks ladies....I feel he isn't a true friend. True friends don't make each other feel bad. He should have just kept his feelings about the gift at home. I'm sure, him and his wife commented about the gift at home.
MYM
Edited 12/27/2004 9:14 pm ET ET by mymartes
Wow - and your dh isn't totally rethinking his choice in best friends?
All my best,
Danni
Oh, MYM, my heart goes out to you! What an awful thing for a "friend" to do and say! My blood was boiling as I read your post, and I don't even know these a$$-h01es. I know that even when it's just a jerk being a jerk, it's easy to start feeling bad about yourself because of what someone else says, but please don't!! You have worked SO hard this past year (or so? I don't remember how long it's been since you've been posting...) to get your finances straightened out, and to get your relationship with your husband fixed, and so on, with so many hurdles. You are so worthy and so awesome, I admire you for coming through everything with such strength, and I think your gift was thoughtful and beautiful (I think I remember you posting how proud you were of it, and you were RIGHT to be proud!!), and I think the person formerly known as your husband's "best friend" should be thoroughly ashamed of himself.
I'm sure your husband too was just caught off-guard and in the same thing where he felt bad because of what they said, and he just let himself take it out on you a bit, and that's not fair, but it's understandable. Just gently remind him that he agreed on the gift and that true friends are kind to each other and not hateful. Bring it up in counseling too (seems like I remember that you were doing counseling--forgive me if I'm wrong), because it seems to me like it's not the first time your husband's poor judgement in personal relationships has led to bad financial decisions and tension in your marriage.
Just for perspective, my neighbors on one side gave us deer meat sausage and deer meat spaghetti for Christmas, because they knew it was something we liked (cost to them probably less than a dollar, if you don't count the costs of hunting which they would have incurred anyway), and the neighbor on the other side proudly gave us dollar store finds. We assembled a basket of items totalling probably less than two dollars for the first neighbor, and I purchased a couple of yard sale items (total cost: $3) for the neighbor on the other side. All were thoughtful gifts based on what we know of each other, and all were appreciated and built bonds of goodwill that would never have come from $40 gift baskets from Bed Bath and Beyond. None of us is "best friends," but we all care about each other and took a few moments to assemble gifts that we felt would be appreciated. All the spoiled brats on my list got, well, crossed off the list.
Urghhh... my blood boils every time I think of that jerk making fun of your husband for the thoughtful gift you gave. Oh, it just makes me so mad!!!!!!!!
By the way, I would *love* to have a tire guage key chain. I'm kind of obsessive about the tire pressure, and it seems like my tire guage always goes missing right when I start to worry that the tires are looking a little low, lol.
Well, don't worry about that jerk. Give your husband lots of love and then tell him he needs to let go of that so-called friend.
Many, many blessings,
Heather
Just my take on the whole thing, it sounds like your DH's "friend"? resents the money they spent and probably feels "stupid" for not being a little more frugal themselves.
Too bad, maybe he can think about it as he's paying off that hefty $1,000 throughout the year!
GIVE YOURSELVES A PAT ON THE BACK!
Awww, what a turkey! I thought those gifts were cool, myself. Maybe he has 'forgotten' the whole deal behind gift giving? That nobody is ENTITLED to a gift? Wholly moley.
My first thought, once I simmered down enough, lol, was that if I were in the middle of this I would be hurt and taken aback. Sounds like you are too.
Then, for next year, I'd buy a cow or pig for that one charity that then gives it to a needy family (I can't remember offhand what the name of it is, but there's time to do research between now & next Christmas, lol)and give them a card telling them that you donated it in their name, "Since you seem to already have what you need..." (Sometimes I'm not very nice, I know. But it can be a whole lot more fun yanking someone's chain than getting really mad!)
hang in there, girl. You have come too far to let the turkeys get you down! Maybe he's just jealous that someday you 2 will be able to buy and sell him 3 times over!
~Lisa
The charity is called heifer international. (The post before me mentioned the charity but didn't know the name). You sponsor to buy farm animals for poor villages. They have small gifts amounts that buy chickens, all the way up to cows.
Anyway, I agree with the rest - jacka$$. Even if he thought he was too good for the gift (which my DH would appreciate btw) he could have at least been gracious about it to your DH. I would seriously consider crossing him off the list for good.
I'm curious though - what was his wife's repsonse??? Is she as obnoxious as he is? And I saw what you said about the bracelet from the wedding, but what "great" gift did this guy give you?
Andrea
I agree with everyone's posts. Some people have no concept of graciousness. Personally, I would mark him off the list for gift giving. And I know you spent more than a dollar total, considering how many items were included in the gifts. What I don't understand is....can't he USE those items? Some people don't get anything at all for Christmas and would love to be able to afford shaving kits and perfume kits. Next time, maybe you can put your efforts towards those who really need, like a homeless shelter or something. I know I've decided I"m not buying for anyone but my parents and my grandparents next year. This year was too stressful and people were too ungrateful for my taste.
I also agree with the poster who said that this man doesn't deserve your husband's friendship.
Hugs,
slojuly
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