If its not one thing, its another
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| Mon, 01-17-2005 - 8:58pm |
I could write a book about this so hopefully I keep it as short as possible and you all still understand lol.
Anyway, I am going to give some history so you know my resentment. When dh and I first got married, MIL and I were like best friends. We had a cell phone that we decided we didn't want anymore and already fulfilled our contract obligation. Instead of just canceling the account, we agree to give phone to MIL and she would pay the bill. It would stay in my name and I was doing it to help her out. Before you say anything, yes that was the worst thing I could ever do and I have learned my lesson. Matt was joining the army so we needed to sell my trailer, and Renea (MIL) and her bf wanted to buy it from us but just didn't have the money at that exact time but were expecting a settlement check. Renea lost a finger at a previous job and she was going to recieve compensation for her loss of finger and time from work. We agreed cause this was just an easy solution to get rid of the trailer. We move out and do get paid the monthly payments since they were going to rent the trailer to their friend. That was in August. In November, I get a call from a debt collector about the cell phone bill that I didn't realize was not getting paid and it was over $600. I do set up a payment plan and it is on my credit report now but Renea did pay me back. That same month she tells me that they won't be able to afford the trailer. She recieves her check in December and I have Matt talk to her when he came home for Christmas. He tells me she never wanted to buy the trailer in the first place, she just agreed because of her bf. Which I'm really ticked off at her now cause of the phone bill and now because if she didn't want to do it she shouldn't have agreed and I could have spent those months trying to sell it to someone who really wanted to buy the trailer.
Fast forward to this summer. We let my SIL visit us this summer cause she needed to get away from Renea. Lora is 17. Renea is with someone new because her last bf was molesting Lora and Renea blamed it on Lora. This new bf is a drunk who doesn't like Lora and Lora ran away, did drugs, promiscuity, etc. Lora was doing fine while she was here at first and then she ran away and got arrested for possession of drugs. Matt did press charges against Lora cause we were hoping this would be a wake up call and she might turn her life around. There was nothing else we could have done. I have 2 kids and dh is army, she couldn't come back in our house because it could have jeopardized his career plus out if she brought drugs in, we could have possibly lost our children. (Worst case scenarios but still possible) She spends about 10 days in jail and judge forces her to go back to her mom.
Fast forward to after Christmas. We check out mail from being gone for a week and have a Last Notice bill from the juvenile court. It is for the amount of $1200. Matt calls about it and the secretary says we had custody of Lora, we were financially responsible for the costs. Sounds ok except for one thing: we never, ever had custody of any kind of Lora. She said we had to in order to press those charges against her. The cop told my husband those are the charges he should press. The judge ok's for him mom to pay it (if she agreed which she did) but if she doesn't pay, we will be responsible for it. She agreed to pay $25 every month by the 15th. I had Matt try calling his mom last week to see if she sent it out but he never could get ahold of her. He gets ahold of her sometime Sat or Sun cause last night when I talked to him I asked him and he did get ahold of her. I asked about it and he said she would sent it out Fri. As in she hasn't sent it out yet. I said its due on the 15th and he said she didn't have the money. How do you not have $25? Esp when last month when Renea and I were talking, she was thinking about quitting work cause she didn't need the money. Now this month, she told Matt she is getting cut off notices. She is such a liar. She doesn't want to pay it and if she gives a sob story to her son and cries, he'll feel sorry for her like he always does and won't say anything about it and just let her get away with it.
I have to go pay it tomorrow. I got off the phone and thought it about for 11/2 hours and came to a solution. Matt is getting all of his Family Seperation Pay in one big check in May when he gets home cause that is when he will file for it. I told him he could open an account with that money to start a down payment for a car. Well, he is going to use some of that money to pay off the court costs. I told him I am not paying it and I won't. He can pay it. Then he can have his mom pay him back, and if she doesn't then, she screwed him, not me.
I do not totally accept the fact that we are legally responsible for those costs. For one, those charges were supposed to be filed by someone with custody, which we didn't have. Second, he was never told that if he did go ahead with the charges, we would be responsible for the court costs. So I think on moral grounds, his mom should pay them since that is her daughter and her daughter is under the age of 18. I would try to fight the charges if possible but Matt is in TX and I just want it to go away. Soon! Don't even want to deal with it any longer than I have to.
Ok that is my vent. Thanks for reading it was alot I know. If there is any confusion, just ask and I will claryify. :)

Can't offer help or advice with the situation. But, I can tell you to hang in there and offer you a big hug. You have dealt with a lot.
Good luck on getting it sorted out.
Kellie
Wow! Sounds like an interesting kind of family dynamic going on here.
What happens if you cancel the phone? If it is in your name, then you can cancel it, right? You may end up paying for it all, but you can chalk it up to a "learning experience".
I have less than no clue about the whole 'custody' (or lack of it) thing. Is there any court official that you can explain it to?
Sounds like you are having more than enough "fun"-hang in there!
Lisa
Interesting family is right. More like screwed up family lol.
We did try talking to them, heck the judge himself, and they told us too bad. I think that's crap but lesson learned from this: don't press charges against anyone in Clarksville, TN unless you can foot the bill. lol At least the minors.
LOL-I will defintely keep that in mind if I get down that way!
It's hard when it's the in-laws, I know. YOU can't say anything or else you'll have your DH and all his family mad at you. He WON'T say anything, so there you are.
Hopefully this will all sort itself out for the best. And soon!
Lisa
All my best,
Danni