OT-I am giving a speech and I need help!
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| Wed, 01-19-2005 - 10:56am |
This is the deal-I have to give a speech about a
quote or a proverb and say how it applies to my
life. It doesn't have to be related to anything
in particular, but I think I'm going with a
"Mom-ism"-you know, the things you heard over
and over growing up. So much so that you swore
YOU'D never say them to your kids, only to hear
yourself saying them anyhow (or not.
What I need from all of you are as many sayings
as you can remember that you always heard from your
Mom that you thought were pretty dumb, but that you
find yourself saying (either to your own kids or
to other people).
For my visual aid I'm compiling a list of all these
and will make a "Mom's Handbook" out of. I have
always told Amanda (my own DD) that there are certain things
that Moms *have* to say-it's in our contract that
we signed when we became Moms. (She finds that funny, but
isn't sure whether to actually believe me or not, LOL)
So, I'm thinking that if I actually have a list I can read some
off at random for my introduction (while trying
deperately not to throw up on my shoelaces...)
Here's some to start you off with:
*Not in the house.
*How many times have I told you to _________.
*Because I said so, that's why.
*If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you jump too?
(I still don't know why ANYONE would jump off a cliff...)
*Take it outside.
*It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
Feel free to pass this to anyone you can think of that
can help. My speech isn't until the 2nd week in February,
so I do have some time to get this all pulled together.
Thank you!
Lisa

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This is fun!!
Some of my favorites....
Don't sit so close to the tv you'll ruin your eyes.
Eat your carrots you'll never need glasses.
(Surprisingly out of my siblings I was the only one who got scared and sat as far away from the tv as possible and ate my carrots and NOW I am the ONLY one in my family who has to wear contacts/glasses. Oh the irony.)
Wait 30 minutes before going swimming/running/(any physical activity) after you eat.
(Was I the only one who heard that?)
And when I'd say to my parents, don't you trust me, they'd always say, "It's not you we don't trust it's _______ (friend)/ ___________ (boyfriend), etc....
I HATED that, but now I know it was for my own good :)
And of course our favorite...money doesn't grow on trees.
(Which reminds me of a Cosby Show episode I like where Theo says that he needs to borrow $ to hang out with his friends and when Dad says no, Theo says, Dad it's not my fault the kids at school know I'm rich and expect me to do things with them. Cosby turns around to Theo and says, your mother works, I work, YOUR MOTHER AND I ARE RICH! Your not!, LOL. I love it).
And something I always heard at my house (probably ONLY my house) directed only at me was...
Stop eating all the purple flinstone vitamins! lol
Good luck with the speech! :)
Oh I forgot to add...
"Don't MAKE me pull this car over", lol
And a favorite of my dad's, "If you kids are good I'll take you to the park to watch the OTHER kids eat icecream" , lol - He STILL says that!
"If I've said it once, I've said it a million times", "It goes in one ear and out the other"...
And, my mom saying, "...because I can't get any sleep unless YOU'RE safe and inside the house" , (regarding curfew :)
"This isn't a restaurant, you eating what I'M making and that's that!"
I USE the last two with my HUSBAND now all the time, ROTFL
ok enough, I think I could go on an on :)
I got the swimming one, too.
How about this one:
"Wear clean underwear in case you ever get hit by a car and have to go in an ambulance."
"If the Queen of England comes to visit, what will she think of this mess?" -said when I didn't dust. (Which, now, makes no sense, because if the Queen came to British Columbia, why would she go to my parents' house? And why would she touch dusty stuff? And why would she be so rude as to comment? But when I was a kid, I lived in fear of the queen coming on a Friday and my room being messy. I could see those white gloves touching the way-high up stuff that I couldn't reach, and man, would I get in trouble. As it was, it backfired on my mom, because I got my sisters scared too, and we would drag the kitchen chairs in to dust the top of things we couldn't reach, and discovered how much fun it was to jump from the chairs onto our beds (the three of us shared one really big room for awhile, shortly resulting in a game that involved jumping from bed to bed all around the room without touching the floor, which eventually broke my sister's bed.)
"Do as we say, not as we do." (My mom smoked. My dad drank coffee every morning.)
"Stop Jumping on the bed!"
"Eat everything on your plate"
"No, we can't send the leftovers to the starving children in Africa, the food will go bad... Eat your dinner."
"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" (that's me, to my students)
"When I was your age..."
I heard the 'wait 30 minutes' spiel too! But when I asked,"Why?" I got the standard, "Because." Now that I'm a mom, I realize this answer is short for "I have no idea WHY. But that's the rule, and that's how it works."
I never heard the "purple vitamins one"! (I'm also an only child, so unless the dog was eating them...LOL)
Thanks-these will go on the list!
Lisa
ROFLMBO!!!! The CAR one! How could I have forgotten the CAR one??? I have used that on our kids, and I have actually PULLED the car over and proceeded to give them the what for, LOL!
Keep 'em coming-these are exactly what I needed!
(And, they add humor to our lives, LOL)
Lisa
I love the one about "we can't send the stuff to the kids"! I always wanted to know that too, LOL. Especially when my mom put the pickled beets too close to my mac and cheese and the juice would run into the Mac & Cheese (eww).
Hey-you never know-the Queen *might* have stopped by! I'm sure she would've said, "Nice dusting there, sport!" Or something-she does seem to be polite. I can jsut see you all-too funny.
Thanks! I got the "Do as we say" one too. I use it on my kids too. They are about as impressed as I was, I think!
Lisa
Thanks! I never heard the 'I can't make money appear out of nothing.' It was more like, "Go get my purse, and I'll see how much change I can get out of the bottom." "Umm, that's OK, Mom."
These are now on The List!
Lisa
I had a smart mouth, too. I still get accused of that even now, LOL. ( I know, it's awfully hard to imagine, huh? LOL)
I don't think my mom ever said the one about Ice water. I like it though! I wonder if I can work that into conversation with my kid...
Lisa, who is considering the possibilities... ;D
I totally get the electric bill one-now. Then, I was like, 'Well, if I'm not paying it, why does it matter?" My mom always said it like, "We don't own stock in the electric company you know."
When I started my first mutual fund, and was looking over the prospectus to see which fund I was going to go with, my ultimate choice DID have the electric company in it! So, then I'd tell my mom that I HAD to leave on the lights-it was helping my mutual fund increase! (it's truly amazing she let me live, I think!)
I just added these to the list. This is going to be a GREAT list!
Lisa
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