So embarrassed!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
So embarrassed!!!!
3
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 7:01pm

Hi all,

I am new here, and am a single mom trying to support myself and my 1 year old daughter. I just started receiving child support from her 'father' (who never sees her) but the last year was really really hard and put me further into the hole of debt that I was trying so hard to get out of! I had to move out of the apartment I was living in because I just couldn't afford the rent anymore. I stayed with my parents for a while (which was horrible!)and managed to save enough to get another apartment about three months ago.

I have been doing much better financially but its still been a fine line, I have to really watch my budget. Well, last month my landlord, who is a very nice guy, allowed me to split the rent into two pmts a week apart. Unfortunately he waited several weeks to deposit the second check, and it went through when I had done some Xmas shopping but my deposit hadn't gone through yet, so it bounced! Not a good start with my new landlord! He was pretty understanding about it and I sent him another check right away which cleared with no problem.

WELL, this month I sent him the full rent (which btw in my area is very very high) and this time he put it through right away, and it went through the day before my deposit went through again, and AGAIN it bounced!!! OMG, what am I going to do??? I am so afraid I am going to get kicked out of my apartment and have nowhere to go! How do I explain this to him? Do you think he will understand? There is a possibility that is bank will run it through again, but they didn't last time.

I really need some help, I am freaking out!!!

Ren

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2004
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 7:21pm

Call him as soon as possible! Explain to him your situation, and let him know you understand if he can't understand but if possible you can give him a money order tonight for the amount (you can usually get this at a grocery store) or a cashier's check from your bank first thing in the morning. (maybe even the grocery store?)

As I see it you have no other choice.

Good luck. And is it possible for you to give him your rent checks after your work checks clear your bank? Just wondering.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 01-19-2005 - 10:21pm

Welcome to the board! Thanks for joining us.

Now, take a deep breath, and know that everything is going to be okay.

You are at a really hard time right now, with a new daughter (my youngest is 11 months and yes, 1 year is still new) and a sour relationship with her father, and then the financial difficulties too. It will not always be this way if you start now, and it's important to relax a bit and enjoy having that little girl, because you will miss these baby days some day.

Now, the hard part is the work you'll have to do to get all this right again. The first step to take is to write down everything you owe, all the payments you must make each month, including what you spend on food, gasoline, insurance, etc.

Compare that to your net income each month.

If the income is greater than the outgo, your next step is simply to get your cash flow worked out so that you're not always a day late on deposits. Perhaps your landlord will change the due date of your rent--most businesses will do this--so that it is due a few days after your deposit goes through.

The next step is to build a buffer into your checking account so that even when this does happen, it doesn't cause bounced checks. You can do this if you have even a teeny bit of income above your expenses, simply by putting the excess into your checking account but "hiding" it from yourself in your accounting.

After that, you'll begin to see your financial situation stabilize, and eventually you won't live in fear any more, and you'll be able to relax and enjoy your precious daughter.

If, on the other hand, your outgo is greater than your income, you can still do this. You will have to decrease your outgo and/or increase your income. The former is tax-free, stress-free, and less time-intensive, so it is the best thing to do if at all possible.

There are hundreds of ways to cut back on spending, and if you track your spending for a few days, weeks, or a month or two, you will probably be amazed at the places that your money is going without your even realizing it. You can probably also cut back on groceries without sacrificing flavor or nutrition--look around the boards for posts on this topic, as there are lots of them.

If you can't do it that way, you may have to consider a second job temporarily until you get your debt under control enough to survive on your first income. Remember that it is only temporary. You can also sell anything that's not nailed down. This can be a good way to get a bit of jump-start cash to get things under control.

Thanks for joining the board. You will find so much support and encouragement here. Keep coming!

Blessings,

Heather

Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 1:16am

Welcome to the board, Ren.


You have received some *excellent* advice so far from other posters.

All my best,
Danni