Frustrated & DH's meeting w/boss...

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Registered: 02-25-2004
Frustrated & DH's meeting w/boss...
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 10:19am

Where is the frustrated emoticon?

DH has a meeting with his bosses at the end of this month, which could possibly mean an increase in his salary and position, we hope anyway. Since one of the "major players" at his job just stepped down there is an opportunity for DH to take on more responsibilities and pay. Unfortunately, there is a woman that DH also works with who is vying REALLY hard for that position and DH is pretty bummed out because he thinks she'll get it instead of him (apparently she looks better on paper than he does to prospective clients? - by the way I HATE corporate America, lol).

Anyway, DH has been really down these last few weeks and finally admitted to me yesterday that because of what's going on at work he's basically lost his motivation to be there right now. :( add to that the problems with his ulcers. I try to stay positive for his sake but I'm sad to say sometimes I lose my positive outlook and I can't help but be angry with some of the people he works with - and then I do worse and let him know about it, which I know only frustrates him more :( . I AM working on that, but I'll be honest I find it difficult at times, especially when I think my DH is getting the short end of the stick.....DH says he's thinking of just calling it all quits and starting over in a whole 'nother field altogether. I know it's his frustrations at work talking because about once a year he'll say he hates the corporate thing and just wants to leave it all, and then NEVER does.

Then we've got the house thing. Do well sell, do we not?? DH and I have both agreed that we won't make any decisions until after his meeting. But we've both come to the conclusion that if it doesn't go his way we will sell, more than likely. And if it does go his way we're hoping that it's enough to make a significant difference or we're still in the same straights and will still sell.

Due to what's been going on with his stress level at work I haven't wanted to make things worse and tell him the truth about how panicked I really am (during the 3 hurricanes we went through this last year I realized something about myself, I tend to get waaay more stressed BEFORE something really big happens - because of all the what if's, once bad thing has come THEN I can deal with it, but BEFORE I'm just a ball of nerves, not having any answers) and so because of that I've been having a REALLY hard time sleeping at night. I find that I get a few hours and then I wake up at like 3 in the morning and then just toss and turn thinking of every possible solution backwards and forwards. Needless to say once I get to work and it's noon I'm tired as a racehorse.

I also broke down yesterday and told my mom about our possibly selling the home and our plans for that if it happens. She was really supportive. I didn't want to tell her about DH's stress at work because I know it's something so personal for him right now. And I haven't wanted to call my girlfriends to vent because I don't want to get them all worried and riled up especially since we ourselves haven't made any decisions yet.
Honestly, I don't know what the purpose of this long winded post is; I guess I just need another release in emotions so I can continue to chug ahead. I've decided tonight I'm going to do more of that shredding that I have and continue to work on my firebox as it gives me a sense of purpose, control and accomplishment, maybe then I'll actually get a full nights rest which hasn't happened in a while.

Thanks for hearing me out, again.