Is this just me?
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| Thu, 01-20-2005 - 11:37pm |
I'm having a bit of a situation, and wondering if anyone else feels the same. Since my debt has become such a problem, and since I have started a second job and trying all I can to pay things off, those around me who actually have money have become very annoying to me. I'm not talking rich people, just those who really don't have to worry about how to cover the bills, or those who have the extra to do something, go somewhere, buy something, without it being a major issue. Case in point: My boyfriend makes more money than I do, has no kids, is buying his own home, his car is paid off, and pretty much whatever he wants, he buys. He doesn't really flaunt it or anything, but he can go shopping, or get on ebay, and drop $200 without even thinking about it..... on stupid stuff even. We don't live together or anything, so his bills don't have anything to do with mine, or mine with his. I don't know why it's bugging me, or why it just started recently (we've been together 4 years), but it just does. I know it is his business if he buys things that are silly ($150 for a bowling ball just the other day.... and he doesn't bowl... it looked neat, he said). I just wish I didn't feel that way. Has anyone else ever had this feeling?
gomom99
Oh, and Becky, did you get my snowflaking info?

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Yes, these feelings are completely natural. When we were so desperate we couldn't pay our bills and it looked like we were going to have to pack up our young son and move three states away to live with my in-laws, I remember the feelings acutely. Especially, I remember sitting at the kitchen table with a friend whose husband made over $80,000 a year, and listening to her talk about what a relief it would be when he got the 50% raise he was expecting, how it would allow them to loosen their belts a little, and stop having to scrape by each month. I remember just wanting her to stop talking, and not knowing how to tell her how incredibly jealous and frustrated it made me feel.
It got so bad that when I was looking for the part-time night job that eventually helped us get back on our feet, I looked at the people waiting tables at a crummy restaurant and thought, "If only I were waiting tables right now and making money so I could begin to get caught up, I would be so happy and never complain about the hard work, or hurting feet, or rude people. I'd just be so grateful not to be worrying about where the rent would come from!!" LOL
Of course, the truth is, that people at all levels have things to be grateful for and things to complain about. Even the poorest among us on this board are better off than the mother in Indonesia who watched several of her children die in the tsunami and now has to wonder whether the rest will die from starvation in the coming weeks and months. Yet we still manage to complain (myself included!! LOL). I'm sure she would look at us and feel angry and jealous to hear our relatively petty complaints.
But that doesn't mean that our own troubles aren't anything. It just reminds me that at each step, as we become better off, there are always people better off and worse off and I *try* to look at the blessings and I *try* not to complain.
But I also try to remember that it's natural to feel jealous and frustrated sometimes. I let myself have the feelings, and then I try to remember that we each have different tasks to accomplish in this life, and we each have different lessons to learn.
I also liked what someone else said, about trying to remember these feelings and be sensitive to others who may feel that way looking at me. Especially now that we are fairly stable, and doing well, it is good to remember that others may be struggling, and to try not to appear ungrateful or flaunting of our good condition.
Good thread.
Heather
"Re: the people who bought each kid a TV and playstation for their bedrooms..."
Oh, please understand that I was not saying I was envious of *that* at all! I was explaining how it is frustrating to hear her talking about how tight money is all the time, when she is so extravagent with material things in her life. I am not envious about the material things. My son really wants a TV in his room (he is 6 and one of his friends has one) and I will absolutely not let him have one.
Just wanted to clear that up.
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