Pleased to meet you.. how do I get out ?
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| Tue, 02-01-2005 - 4:36pm |
Hi There ~~
I've been pacing around this webpage for a little while now getting ideas here and there as to how to start paying down our debt so I guess now would be a good time to introduce myself since I have (hopefully) more than 10 minutes to myself.
My name is Vicki, 33, married 4 years with two beautiful boys. The total amount of debt we owe I'm not really sure but it's alot and it's gone up substantially in the past year because we added three important things... the first was a washer and dryer (we didn't have one at all and our landlords decided they didn't want us using their's anymore), the second was sending my oldest son to pre-school (this ends up being $575 a year, broken up into $54 monthly payments)--- some would say this wasn't really necessary as he's only 3 years old but it was to me. He had no one to play with before school even though I know there were kids his age in the area... what was I supposed to do, walk up to some stranger and say "hey, wanna bring your kid over to play with mine??" Plus it's taught him alot over all and gives me time for other things, like the last thing we added this year, which was his younger brother, Daniel, just born in Nov. Unfortunately we had some of the crappiest insurance out there only we didn't know it until he was born and now it seems like each week we are getting a bill for this or that relating to his delivery/my hospital stay. He also had to go back into the hospital for a few days with jaundice and we haven't even recieved the bill for that one yet.
Anyway, that's just this year. Prior we had considerable CC debt, car payment, rent/household bills and DH's student loan. That last is deferred for one more year in the hope that we can--- ok, I can say it here right? in the hope that I can get us even a little bit out of the hole and pay it managably . If it were left up to my husband we would have filed for bankruptcy a long time ago mainly because he doesn't want to get another job (that's a long story and this is long enough) but yet he continues to buy buy buy. Don't get me wrong, I want our kids to have nice things as much as he does, but we only live in an apartment and they are only babies! Yes, I've told him these things too and he agrees... until he takes a road trip to Toy R Us. It really is a never ending cycle with him.
I checked out the information you have here on snowflaking and thought last pay period that I really could do it, but it didn't work out. Because of the baby and the holidays we got so far behind on household bills that I had to pay them first and when I was done there was nothing left. Literally next to nothing... and then we had to find money for food! Thank heavens for WIC or else we'd have trouble getting formula for the baby that's how bad it was. It's really depressing to think about and I have to really concentrate to not think about it. It's always there. This month my brother is getting married... how am I supposed to get him a gift? I'm hoping that once I get all the papers and we can get our taxes done that we'll get about $3500 back (hoping being the operative word there) but even then, the car needs new tires and there's something wrong with the steering. It just seems like one thing right after the other.
Anyway, that's me in a nutshell... sorry it turned out so long, guess I was just happy to know that I wasn't alone. I truly am trying but it's so hard... how do you keep from going crazy when you think about it??
Vicki

Welcome to the board!
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate, and I'm sorry to hear that your DH doesn't seem to be on the same page as you in regards to paying down these debts :(. That can be very frustrating. I hope your refund is the amount that you are expecting so that you can take care of some of your priorities. In regards to your question: "how do you keep from going crazy when you think about it??"....I can only give you personal opinion....sometimes I do go a little "crazy" and stay up all night...but mostly I take it one step at a time, if I try to take on too much too soon - I end up feeling overwhelmed which in my case usually leads to nothing good.....I like to say that slow and steady wins the debt race because I think it's very true - it takes time to sort out debt messes....
Glad you found the board and welcome again :)
You will need to take in copies of all of your bills and pay stubs. If you qualify for WIC you will likely qualify for a hospital discount on your share of the bill.
Credit cards are a nightmare. When you add up your bills, line them up in order of interest rates. You can go to bankrate.com and they will give you a payoff plan, month by month.
Its good to close all of your credit card accounts, all but one, just for emergencies. And an emergency would be a car repair, etc. Its hard to close those accounts once and for all, but well worth it.
Once you have a plan of action, you will feel more confident and ready to tackle!
Good luck!
Thanks for the welcome (although I kind of wish I didn't have to be here).
And let me start with, DH is on the same page that we need to pay down the debt... he is the one that wants to buy a house (this is a subject we're a little divided on right now), that's tired of living paycheck to paycheck (like I'm not) but he is also the worst of the two of us in spending. Let me give you an example: Two weeks ago, when he got paid he asked me how much money he should get out of the bank for the week. I got paid on Thurs, roughly $140 so I told him take out $50 to cover gas and something else (right now I forget what it was). I figured that I could pay most of the bills with his check, add a little extra with mine to some and then we could live till my next check on what was left of the one I already had. Instead of taking out the $50 he took out $100 and I never saw a penny of it, which completely screwed up my plan of using his check for bills and groceries. That extra $50 could have gotten quite a bit of food at Sav-a-Lot. Money goes through his hands like water. We've both been bad with our spending, I admit he didn't put us where we are alone; I once had a much higher paying job which I quit to save my sanity, marriage and family two years ago, but he's definitely the worse of the two of us. And he doesn't do the bills. Occasionally will look at them, yes, but most of the time not. This isnt' a job I volunteered for, it just happened that way and every time he complains about things I hand him the stack and say "hey, if you can do better, here you go". Needless to say he quickly backs away.
Right now though we are at our worst ever and it is really overwhelming for me. As I said, I'm looking forward to getting our taxes back but even that is difficult as I still haven't recieved my papers from disability. I've never had to wait this long before and it's the one time when I've needed it the most.
Uh-oh. One of the kids are up so my time here is once again cut short. Thanks again for the welcome and I'm sure I'll be back.
Vicki
Vicki
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