Some people live in a whole different wo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Some people live in a whole different wo
4
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 7:13am

DH and I have a couple friend (married for a few years, a 2 year old, another baby on the way) who both work for an airline. Because of this they get free flights and severely discounted hotels. That's wonderful for them and they really are able to take advantage of it. If we were in that position we'd probably travel a lot too. What kills me is DH talked to his friend last night. They just got back from a really cool, expensive vacation. Well it would be expensive for normal people - it's not something most can afford to do. And he said to DH "Next time you guys will have to come with us." And the thing is he was serious. This guy and his wife have always had money (their families are both well off) so to them trips like this are nothing. And they know all about our money troubles lately and how much we're struggling to get back on track. Of course DH got off the phone with him depressed. He's still somewhat in the mindset of "If everyone else can do this stuff why can't we?" What he's not seeing is the ramifications of many of our friends who live well beyond their means. We don't know how much debt they have or what their credit is like. And it IS hard to see others do really great fun things (trips, new cars, et) when they're our age (mid to late 20s). But I've accepted that we got ourselves into debt and we have to get ourselves out. He has yet to get there.

Anyway sorry for the ramble and vent. It was nice of this friend to invite us on a trip and I know that. He's a good guy. It's just so hard to have to say no to so much when others seem to do everything, KWIM?

Debt sucks. I think that'll be my new mantra. LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 8:57am

ITA! I just have to remind myself that I am in debt because I lived beyond my means at one time, I am trying to change and I am doing it for my future and my kids' future. Those who live above their means by using credit, who don't stop will find themselves unable to retire at the normal age and probably continue having to work until they die. I would rather suffer a little now so we can have a great future.

I wish I could take the fabulous trips and buy everything my children want, but I can't. My children don't care where we go on vacation. They are just as happy camping (in fact my DD is begging to go camping this summer) as they are flying somewhere and staying in a fancy hotel. I like camping because it is a much cheaper option. Just remember, memories aren't made of what you have or the fancy places you stay. Memories are made of what you do and the quality time you spend with your loved ones. I can make better memories by taking my children to the local children's story hour and doing arts and crafts than I can by buying my children the latest video game.

Yes, debt sucks but getting out of debt doesn't.

Kellie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 9:53am

Stick to you plan, sweetie. You will one day, soon - very soon, be better off then them. You will be out of debt and have the knowledge and power to plan a great vacation without going into debt.

Your day will come and you will be better than most because you will know the pleasure of being free of debt. Just hang in there a bit longer.

Perhaps you and your husband can make a special day for each other that is free or nearly free. I know it is hard, but it can be done. Where I live the city zoo is free and quite nice. Perhaps a day out at the zoo, stroll the park, or anything else that gets you together and away from spending, just relaxing and talking about your DEBT FREE future and what you will do when you know it can be done without the hounds dogs beating down your door because you owe them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 4:13pm
I understand how you both feel. That's why we are all here; because we want to get out of debt and enjoy the "finer" things in life, depends on your definition of finer. Dh was like that too. I had to continually explain to him why we can't do or buy certain things and that after we get out of debt we will be able to buy or do this stuff with cash and not have to worry about bills. He is slowly but surely starting to get there. It's so rough when it seems as if everyone is doing fun stuff and you are stuck at home paying bills. But we also have to remember we aren't other people and what works for some won't work for others. Different people have different priorities. Plus like you said, you don't know how these other people are living. They could be in debt up to their eyeballs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 6:54pm
I understand how you feel. It sucks when you see other people getting to do things that you wish you could afford to do. Is it possible that your friends weren't meaning to be insensitive? Maybe they invited you both because they think that you both work hard and deserve a nice vacation. It may have been innocent and not intended to be about bragging. Our true friends want the best for us and at times may want more for us than we feel is possible. Since they both work for an airline, maybe they were considering the possibility of letting you both in on some of their perks. I am not sure how this works but I know that one of my mom's friends has a daughter who works for an airline and my mom and the friend got free plane tickets to Mexico courtesy of the daughter; perhaps this is what your friend had in mind to help with the cost without coming out and saying it. Is that possible? I also have a cousin who works for an airline and he gets passes for family and friends all the time. Maybe they weren't trying to make you feel bad; maybe they were just trying to open the door to the possibilities. This is just my opinion. Good luck with your debt reduction; this will pay off and someday you too will be taking that vacation that I am sure that you and your husband very much deserve!! Take care!