Have you ever been really irritated . .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Have you ever been really irritated . .
7
Fri, 03-11-2005 - 12:41pm
. . . by someone because of their views on money? My DH & I have paid off our credit debt, have savings and hope to have our mortgage paid off in 10 years instead of 30. But some people think we are freaks because we spend frugally. Like any money my 4 yr old DD gets as gifts goes into her 529 plan for college. I actually had someone tell me the money was for toys, not savings.
DH & I chose to increase our 401K contributions instead of going to Disney. Family members can't figure out why we did this, since retirement is so far off (we are in our early 30's). It is so frustrating!
Since we began living more simply, and we are happier than ever. But sometimes the "advice" of "you should do this" or "you should buy that" or even worse "jsut get it, you'll figure out how to pay for it" really gets on my nerves.
Oh well, thanks for the vent!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2004
Fri, 03-11-2005 - 12:56pm

I get that way sometimes with girlfriends who have no kids who expect me to just drop $500 on airline tickets & hang out in NYC for the weekend.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 03-11-2005 - 2:13pm

I can see the gift thing, because if someone gives her money for a gift and wants her to have a new toy, they might not be happy about the money ending up in college savings. But basically by giving money instead of a toy they are putting the decision of what to buy onto you, and the decision is ultimately yours as her parents, if you want it in the 529 plan that is where it will go. If they want her to have a toy, the could instead buy a gift certificate to a toy store and give that as a gift.

But I think the bottom line to your question is that you can't be too bothered by other people's opinions of your choices. They have the right to think/feel whatever they think/feel and just the same you have the right to make whatever choices you feel are best for you and your family. This kind of thing would not irritate me because I would respect their opinion (it doesn't mean I would change my behavior because of it, but I would respect their opinion is a valid one).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 03-11-2005 - 2:14pm
Completely! I know people who are so irresponsible with money and while I am trying to pay off debt and make responsible money choices, they make me feel bad for decisions I make. I guess misery loves company and they want me to be their company. Sorry, not going to happen!! I've been there, done that and I am actually enjoying this time in my life of making wise decisions and am proud of the progress that I am making! You should be too, sounds like you are making awesome choices, not only for today, but for your future too! Congratulations! Don't let them bother you, they aren't paying your bills, so they shouldn't have any say in what you do with your money or how you feel about it! Great job!
~leanne

~leanne

deciding to be happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, but that you had decided to look beyond the imp

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2004
Fri, 03-11-2005 - 3:09pm

I think people that say and act the way you described are basically jealous!! They might have massive credit card debt/no savings~ and when they hear how well you are doing with your money, the only way they can make themselves feel better is to criticize you! It's sad.

Just remember, if or when you do want to take a trip or something~ that you are well able to do so without worrying about how to pay for it!! And they might not be!! You should be so proud of yourselves!! You could make little jokes between the two of you when they do that~ like "ya, you can go to Timbuktu now- but you'll be living in a box at 55!" Ha! (Ok, maybe that was mean- but they won't know!)

I have noticed when talking to some of my close inlaws about DH and my money plans (rapidly paying off debt,saving,planning to build home and pay it off in 10 years, retirement funds, etc)the wheels start turning in their minds wishing they would've been as responsible. They actually praise us and criticize themselves for spending so much!

I understand about the kid's money too! I wish more relatives would give money!! They have to realize that our kids don't need 2,500 new toys for Christmas! And hey, if they wanted them to have a toy then buy them a toy or give a toystore gift card!!!

Good Post! Remember that WE'LL always support your frugal ways!! ;) Nicki

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2005
Fri, 03-11-2005 - 5:52pm
Absolutely!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2004
Sat, 03-12-2005 - 9:49pm

Absolutely! In particular, I get irritated with my BIL. The man does not know how to handle money at all!

This is a man who has a 6 figure income and doesn't know where he stands at any given time (hasn't done the math in his checkbook register for over 2 years!). He just looks at the balance on the statement, and he's fine if that keeps going up. He buys the best of everything! Washer and Dryer........top of the line Bosch for over $3000!

He brags about having a "drawer full" of credit cards. All of them with $5-$10K limits. And doesn't believe that a huge amount of available credit like that is NOT a good thing. Of course not.......His income alone is what qualifies him for mortgages on huge, ostentacious houses for just himself and his DD.

Just recently, his landlady (he's renting after a move until his house sells) claims she didn't receive his check. I was the one who led him by the hand through the process of finding out from his bank if the check cleared and then getting a copy as proof of payment.

Since he's going to be closing out a couple of bank accounts due to the move, he's asked me help him straighten those out. Aaargh!

Funny thing is....When he divorced a few years ago, he was amazed to "find out" how much money he actually made. His wife was in charge of the finances and managed to spend every penney he earned. Toward the end, she was squirreling it away in her own account. Anyway, you'd think after that, he would have learned to keep a better eye on things.

Whew, that little rant felt pretty darn good.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2003
Mon, 03-14-2005 - 9:36pm

We're considered the 'poor' ones of the family, but that's OK. It's all good, LOL!

Since we started with the Dave Ramsey 'thing', we've made tremendous strides (and some colossal backslides), but one thing that he says keeps us going:

"Live like nobody else, then later, you can live like nobody else."

Right now, it all doesn't look pretty, but we know that all this is buying us our freedom later so that we can live like we want to!

If they were to actually say, "Well you should buy/do/whatever such and such," I'd probably just laugh and tell them that I *SHOULD* do a truckload of stuff, but I'll be sure to put it on my "To-Do List" (more near the bottom, if you get my drift...).

Let 'em think you're freaks-I'd say that from where I'm standing, you're normal! It's truly all in how you look at it.

Here's to living like nobody else!

~Lisa