shopoholic

Avatar for sunshine2u2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2004
shopoholic
1
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 6:45am
I am a shopaholic. When I get depressed or sad which is often lately. I shop on things that I cannot afford. I was wondering if any of the rest of you do this and how you get conrol of it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: sunshine2u2002
Sun, 03-20-2005 - 9:26am

I was a shopaholic. I used to shop to avoid how unhappy my marriage was. The way I changed was, well first I ran out of credit cards. Once they were maxed that put an end to shopping and to eating out. There was no money in the budget for those things once the minimums on the credit cards were paid (two cards owing $10k each, minimums barely covered the interest charges). Luckily (in my case) I realized what I needed was to get divorced. We had enough left over from the sale of the house to get our cars and credit cards paid. Since then (that was Sept 2003) it has been an up and down struggle to not shop. I have fallen of the wagon and charged, but for the most part I have made smart decisions and charged when it made sense. As a result, my credit scores are looking great and financially I am doing well (part of that is that my ex-h can no longer negatively affect my credit).

The first thing I did is my budget. Each payday I pay all the bills that are due in that two week period, and then I set aside money to pay for cash withdrawls (as limited as they can be), groceries, gas, tolls, prescriptions, clothes, household items, eating out, etc. I set aside money based on what my spending usually is, and that is worked into my budget plan so I know I can live within my means. I do everything I can to stay within that set budget. If I have to buy more groceries than budgeted, then I reduce the amount I can spend on clothes in that pay cycle. One thing that makes this easy is if I run out of money, I only have to wait 2 weeks until my 'spending limits' are replenished. The other thing that helps is just knowing exactly what I can and can't buy. Here is a link to my budget/spending/debt reduction spreadsheet: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-mljournal&msg=1861.9

The next thing I did was focus on what I value. Do I value stuff or do I value financial security? I've moved twice since my separation/divorce and I can tell you I'd rather not have too much stuff. I have rid my life and my house of as much useless junk as I can and I try not to buy more. When I walk into a Walmart or a Target (I only go if I really have to) I have in mind what I need and how much I can spend, and I know I will feel better if I stick to that, simply because I choose to value sticking to my budget.

I don't fall off the wagon as much (or as severely) as I used to. I have found that if I let myself buy something because I *deserve* it that will start a mini spending spree. I can't shop because I deserve to shop, I can only shop when I have budgeted to buy something and it makes sense.

It also helps to have other interests and activities. Shopping used to be my main activity. Now I go to the library and the gym a lot more often than I go shopping.

The times I have charged and felt good about it are the times I have planned ahead, known what I was going to buy, how much it would cost, how and when I would pay for it. How much it is going to cost is not only the purchase price, but any interest you will pay by charging it. I had to buy dd a new mattress last July, and I shopped and found a good price on a good mattress. I bought it on a store card with 18 months of no interest/no payments. I made a plan to pay it off in 12 months and made monthly payments to ensure it would be paid on time (even though no payments were due, putting it in my monthly budget kept my eye on that debt and focused on paying it off). I am happy to report I will be paying it off this month, earlier than expected. I also had to buy a fridge last July when I moved. I went shopping and the one I really wanted was around $800. I expect to have this fridge a long time so I was thinking that cost was justified. But I also found one for around $470 that would do the job just as well and I realized I would feel better if I spent less (I stood in the store and talked myself into the less expensive one, in the past I would have done the opposite). Again I bought it on a store card at zero interest for 12 months. I think I paid it off in December, and again it was something in my monthly budget and I paid extra when I could. I also charged $2,000 of the down payment on my car in January. I needed to put that much down (the $2,000 plus $1,000 I had in savings) so my monthly payment would be reasonable and affordable and fit in my budget (payment ended up being $203 for a new car, not bad). I knew I was getting a good tax refund, and if it wasn't enough, I was getting a bonus in March which would easily cover the shortfall, and if for some reason it didn't, April is a three paycheck month. My tax return was $2,184 and I filed my taxes early and paid the credit card off in February.

So I think the bottom line is paying attention, *wanting* to not shop and ruin yourself financially, knowing what you are paying on your credit cards, how much it's costing you and when you will pay it off. I have $6,000 in credit card debt, some of which were things I needed but none of which was budgeted for. I am not adding to my debt because I am living within my means now, and I've been able to get the debt to a zero interest credit card and I have a plan that I could be out of debt by the end of the year (when the zero interest period expires). I may choose to save the money instead for a down payment on a house, and if I do that I will find another zero interest offer again. Now I use my credit cards to my advantage, instead of them taking advantage of me. That feels a lot better - but I will only be able to keep it that way if I keep my spending in check.

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