Things haven't gotten worse

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
Things haven't gotten worse
5
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 10:21am
My husband drives a truck (which I hate & which DOES NOT pay the bills) we haven't heard from him since March 30th. He has not sent me any money last week or this week...they have turned off our cell phones (his is mainly for work -but also so we will know he is alive and breathing)I have been doing my best not to let my credit cards get behind -the payments are very high one is $265.00 and one is $230.00 plus one is is $137.00 and several other small ones...the two big ones are MBNA well the one that was due yesterday I couldn't pay because he hasn't put any money in the bank and I spent my check on house payment and other things that HAD to be paid. I can't believe that now not only will bill collectors be calling him now they will be calling me. I have no room to negotiate with MBNA (I've tried before) one of the interest rates is already 19.99% and the other was 14.(( % but I guess after yesterday it will go up - which also probably is now over limit. I feel like sitting down crying...but that won't get anything done. I can't get a second job because I have 2 children and he is never home. Truck drivers should make good money-----but he has beend driving for over 20 years and he has never ever made good money and what he does make he spends. I am at my wits end.......please offer me some advice. My parents gave me $800.00 Monday to help pay bills but when you are behind it doesn't go far. I have no way to get in touch with my husband.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 11:03am

I'm really sorry you have all this weight on your shoulders. Would your hubby consider taking some courses on-line or going back to school to improve his human capital so taht he can switch jobs and be home more often? Would YOU consider doing something to switch to a higher paying job? You said you have two children, would you consider taking in an extra child or two while you're watching your own to make some extra cash? I wish you all the best,

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 12:27pm

Wow, you've got a lot of weight on your shoulders right now. Doesn't sound like dh is really helping you out any. I don't have much in the way of advice, just kind thoughts. Can you call the trucking company he works for to find out where he is?

When you get money from him, is it in the form of checks from the company, or does he write you a check or give you cash? Do you know that you are getting all the money he is being paid? If not, maybe you should arrange to have the money direct deposited.

The only way you can get ahead is if everyone is on board. You need to talk to your dh, seek counseling if necessary, but figure out a plan of attack and work together. Many people on this board have had trouble getting their spouses to work with them, but it can be done much of the time.

I wish you the best of luck. I second the idea to bring in some other children, even if it's just on an irregular babysitting basis. Every little bit helps.

Blessings,

Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 4:50pm

Hi Tekemeee, I have to come out of lurking to ask if your huaband is an owner/operator. If he is he might not have much money after fuel,tires,break downs and such.But, if he drives for a company he ought to have money for you. My husband brings home after taxs and 50$ week ins.between nine hundred and a thousand a week. He keeps 150 a week for his eats and the rest is mine. Yes, we are in trouble with credit cards but it is my fault!! some weeks he will even make a hundred more, just depends on his miles. When he was an o/o he didnt do near as well.We do direct deposit and it works for us. I'm so sorry things are bad for you right now and i wish you luck.


loretta

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2003
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 11:40am

As you are already at home with the children, have you ever considered opening a day care in your home. I know that my colleagues in the office have their children in a home day care, as they are less expensive than a center and also offer a home environment. If you are already at home with kids, why not make some money looking after others children. There are plenty of working women looking for a responsible person like yourself to help them out. There are always parents looking for night sitters. I know it can be a lot to handle if you have your own children, but it could be that additional income you need so you're not so reliant on your H's salary.

Your H needs to get in touch with you. He is being very irresponsible and how does he expect you to pay bills if he's not adding to the bank account. Call the company he works for, don't worry about that male-environment, don't call and embarrass me in front of the guys type mentality. If he can't be enough of a man to call his wife and get his bills paid, then you have got to talk to whoever is contracting him and get a message to him. What he is doing to you in very unfair. I'm sorry - I was just shocked to read someone would do that to their wife and kids.

What I would suggest is that his pay goes Direct Deposit to two accounts, and that can be set by payroll. One account for your H for his spending money and his name on that account. A 2nd account with just your name on it with the remainder of his pay in there. That's for you to pay the bills etc. Elect an amount he gets for his account, then as I said the rest to you.

I hope this is a good suggestion. Wishing you luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 3:23pm
Is he independent? If not, call who he drives for and they can get ahold of him and let him know he needs to call you.