This is new, my head out of the sand!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2005
This is new, my head out of the sand!
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 1:24pm
hello, i am a divorced 8 yrs ago,mother of two girls, 14 yo and 18 y/o(grad and accepted to college, local univ.) I have a full time job with benefits and have some chronic health issues (diabetes, HBP) but all under control. I still have the house(it needs some work or is going to) Taking the ex(abusive) father to court for post minority help w oldest dau college expenses. Trouble is, I am still paying for consumer debt from way back when divorce was happening (8 mos w/o child support) and just plain old frugal living(i am not talking about buying iPods and stuff for my girls!) "Good debt" is mortg~76,9000
home equity ~21,000(i am 18 mo into that) one cc ~$7600 and car loan ~$16,000. I am worried I wont even have enough to sell the house and wonder if I should try. I stayed here p the divorce cause its a great small town(just outside lrg town) neighborhood and this was the least expensive house in this great area when my ex and I bought the house. I am afraid if I sell, I wont be able to buy another house for a while but it could bring me emotional and debt relief--I doubt I would make any $$ on the sale. if i break even that would be a blessing. I have done so much healing since getting out of that 12 yr marriage and have two wonderful girls and a great job, do lots of community speaking against DomestiC Violence--this is like one more step in my recovery--the financial recovery--I did not get a good divorce deal cause i just wanted out and glad to be alive--he gets to claim my youngest child for tax reasons and that has cost me lots$$. I am fighting that in court with the child support revision but dont know how that will turn out. My work is demanding (nurse, work with children with disabilities) but I live paycheck to paycheck and want this debt burden off me. I have been paying just $50 over the min and a few more $$ over for the home equity and have been doing this for 3 years. It seems it will never end. I bought a slightly used Honda 2 yrs ago and was stupid an need a great car for work travel 26 miles to work one way on interstate and then sometimes arnd the state for work. At least its gas miser! I still owe more than its worth though and will never make that mistake again. I am facing one child in college now (she has one academic scholarship for $750 semester but that doesnt cover all) I want her to go-she;s straight A's and works two jobs (groc store and lifeguard) I gave her my old car(1995 Nissan and it has over 100k miles on it) Its the only thing I actually own! haha.I want to build up ER fund and get rid of debt and start making some $$/ All I do is work, work and more work. I wonder if I should sell the house or check into home based business to help with the taxes? I figure I can get the car and cc pd off in three yrs if NOTHING else happens, but you know it always does when you have children esp, teenagers!
All my ex does is buy guns! HE has always pd child support and what he is supposed to at least but as you well know, that aint all there is to it. Any ideas! sorry this is so looong!