Thank you!! Some suggestions needed...
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Thank you!! Some suggestions needed...
| Fri, 06-24-2005 - 12:38pm |
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has responded to my posts so far.
| Fri, 06-24-2005 - 12:38pm |
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has responded to my posts so far.
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Thanks once again for the wonderful feedback!!
I hope you don't feel offended, but maybe your DH could use some counseling. Especially since you want to have kid(s). First of all, it takes more than just love to raise children these days, so it is important to have your finance somewhat in order. (Check out this website: http://www.babycenter.com/costofchild/) Secondly, you probably want to teach them the difference between "wants" and "needs" so hopefully they will not have to worry about debts from impulse purchase.
I am known as the "auntie who is no fun". Instead of getting my boyfriend's nephews and nieces (age ranging from 11 to 3) Christmas and birthday presents, I opened up college savings accounts for them and put in $100 - $200 for each one every year. We also told their grandparents about it (because everyone can contribute - the accounts are in the children's name but they can only use the money for educational purposes). Hopefully they can take out smaller student loans because of it and have less debt.
Hi minisinge~
I'm not offended at all. I am sure he could benefit from some counseling. I think at this point, because he does not take care of the bills or even know how much we are in debt or how little we have left over, he just doesnt understand the enormity of it all.
Putting him in charge of the bills for ahwile so he can understand is definitely not an option because he is horrible with money.
In all honesty, if the shoe were on the other foot and he was telling me all this, I would probably act the same way as he is because I wouldn't want him telling me I couldn't have this or that. We have just started the buckling down so I will give it a little bit of time before I give him a good, swift kick in the butt.
AS for the whole baby thing, he has said on numerous occasions that when he does have a kid, he will probably spend all of his money on the kid and forget all about himself. I can see this happening to both of us because I am the same way.
It is also partially my fault he is the way he is. Whenever he has wanted something I have gotten it for him (I am an only child, spoiled) sometimes because I just didn't want to hear him gripe about it.
Thanks,
Kim
Christmas shopping in July? Actually, that's a pretty good idea. It will spare me the crowds of people which always take away any delight I might have found in shopping (I am no great shopper anyway and usually want to get it done to get back home...)
And I hear you on this X-mas gift or no gift thing. Last year my grandmother was most offended that I told her not to buy me a X-mas gift. She lives of her retirement funds, and I am 31, so I feel perfectly able to stomach X-mas without a gift from my grandmother. That whole thing told me how deep that tradition of gift giving sits.
Still, I, too, buy give gifts. And I have a huge family - a 'small family occasion' that includes only my parents, my siblings, their partners and kids already amounts to exactly two dozen people. Some of my sisters and I usually throw our little money together to buy one present for our parents, or bigger things for the little ones, so everyone gives ~5 to 10$, and the result is one useful item. That also helps reduce clatter on the kids' bedrooms :-) They simply do not own that much stuff...
My dh's family is a lot smaller, and have a lot more money, and don't seem to understand exactly what it means to live of two small incomes.
I have one savings account into which I put 10$/month, which is for christmas. So far I managed never to touch it for anything else.
For all those little presents one is expected to give, I simply keep an eye open for sales, especially on books. I love to give books, and sometimes they are reduced in price. Over the year I always accumulate a large hoard of gifts-to-be. And what is not given as Christmas present usually finally goes to our local library and church.
Greetings, Jordis
ivy_jordis
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Hi kim! i totally understand what you mean about "spoiling" dh in the past! i have always done the bills and held the financial burden. Not because he didn't want to do it, i just felt like I wanted to do it. I didn't want him " stressed out" or listen to him gripe! Now, we are both trying to share the responsibility and it's so much better. Once he realized how much debt we actually had, he got a second job and stop whining about wanting things! He is so much more involved now, and you know what? it has helped me alot! before, if i made an extravagent purchase or wasted money on junk, i had no one who know about it! it was so easily hidden. now, that we both do the checkbook, things are sooo much better and it's nice to be held accountable by someone! i wish you lots of luck!!!
kel
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