I'm Baaaack!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
I'm Baaaack!
2
Tue, 07-05-2005 - 5:18pm

It's been about 5 months since I have posted anything here. But, I realized this weekend how much I came to depend on all of you to keep me true to myself and my family.

An update: Our second DS was born 4 1/2 months ago. When he was five weeks old, he started getting sick all of the time. I took him to the doctor and at first we were told we were facing a life threatening situation that required immediate surgery. Well, the doctor who saw him didn't know what he was talking about. He wasn't losing weight or have any other symtoms other than vomiting, so we were referred to the local children's hospital and discovered the first doctor was wrong, but DS was born with only one kidney. We had to have mutliple tests done to confirm it and we see a children's kidney specialist next week to figure out what this means. We will also need to get our other two children checked out because one kidney at birth seems to run in DH's family.

My other DS needs extensive dental work done in OCT because he (at almost 3) has huge holes in his teeth and they can't just be pulled to wait for the adult ones to grow in because they are some he will have until he is 13 or 14. So, DH and I have to save for our share of that and if it can't be done in the dentist's office and they have to take him to the hospital to have it done our share will go from $400 to $3500 to $4000. (Our medical insurance doesn't cover dental surgery and our dental insurance doesn't cover procedures done in a hospital--Catch 22).

Well the point of all of this is while right before my son was born we only had about $4000 in credit card debt, we are now at almost $9000 in cc debt. This weekend, DH insisited on putting in a new patio out in front of our house and it of course went on the cc. I have been overspending to deal with the stress of my children's health. We went to visit my family for our summer vacation and DH insisted on splitting the 12 hour trip into two days, which meant a hotel stay.

I just can't get him or myself to wrap our heads around the fact that we have got to stop using the cc's and pay cash for everything. We have also got to stop over spending. The funny thing is DH suggested the envelope system and when I sat down to divvy up the envelopes he said we needed a good cash budget first. I have a cash budget. I have told him I do. He just does't want to face it I guess. Neither do I really, but the problem won't solve itself.

Thanks for letting me vent and return to the board. I really have missed you guys.

Kellie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: t09w
Tue, 07-05-2005 - 8:05pm

How scared you must have been about your new son! Thank goodness it wasn't as drastic as you thought, but it must still be pretty scary and worrisome. And the expense doesn't help, either!

Yeah, a new patio probably wasn't the best choice right now, but I imagine like you your husband is spending money to deal with the stress of the health situation. You both probably just want a sense of normalcy, and spending often does that.

Maybe instead you could develop some family rituals that will help you deal with the stress without resulting in expense. Maybe family movie night--borrow movies from the library and curl up with popcorn and sleeping bags to watch a movie marathon? Or how about you and dh each taking one night a week and joining a group--a poetry group, a dance club, toastmaster's, gardening club, whatever interests you. This would give you each some "me time" to relax and reconnect with the world away from the family stresses.

Anyway, it really stinks to have these major expenses and the stress of health issues at the same time. I hope things look up for you soon.

Blessings, and welcome back!

Heather

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: t09w
Tue, 07-05-2005 - 9:27pm

I'm sorry to hear about all the stress you have been through lately.