Grrr My DH Grrr!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Grrr My DH Grrr!
4
Wed, 07-06-2005 - 9:03pm

Okay, I just need to vent. I finally have DH on board with our debt reduction. He was really happy to know we could have all of our debt paid off in about a year and a half. We are military and live in gov't quarters, so no rent and no mortgage. Our debt is strictly cc and car payments. (I paid off DH's student loan on Jun 15 :-).)

Well anyway, we got into a discussion tonight about a family activity this coming Saturday. We are going to "Day Out with Thomas." My older DS is obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine and trains in general. When I found out they were coming, I bought tickets. Well anyway, having been last year thanks to my mother, I know they will be selling Thomas stuff. I told DH that we should limit the two older kids to $10 each to spend. I really don't think my almost 5 month old will care about getting anything. Anyway, DH says we need to see how much things are and then decide on an amount. Okay, I have been through this with him before. What starts out as we need to check things out and then decide results in way overspending and getting more than we possibly can use. He just doesn't get that the kids need a limit before they walk in and we need to agree to an amount so we don't get into an argument in front of a bunch of people.

On a side note: did any one watch the Jane Pauley Show today. It was about how to not overindulge our kids. A large part of our debt is not saying "no" to our kids. I know that is what will happen Saturday, if we don't agree to an amount before we leave the house.

I guess I am not looking for advice because right now DH has shut down. He isn't hearing anything I am saying. I don't think I am hearing anything he is saying either. I would just like to be debt free once in my adult life. I also want to have as little debt as possible by next April, because it looks like (depending on where we move next year) we will have to buy a house and we need good FICO scores.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Kellie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: t09w
Wed, 07-06-2005 - 9:37pm

I hear ya. We went to the circus this year, and it almost broke my heart to say "no" when ds wanted one of the funky hats with the balloons (they were $10! For a paper hat attached to a balloon!! Puh-leeeeze!). But ya know what? Once the show started, he forgot all about the hat, and never mentioned it again.

Here's an idea I heard somewhere that I think is great (though your time may be limited now). Hunt for inexpensive merchandise ahead of time, and when the "I wannas" strike, pull out the extra-special merchandise you brought just for them. I've seen Thomas merchandise at Marshall's-type stores for cheap, and I imagine you could find similar things on clearance at toy stores as well.

Hide the toys in a large purse, and before you go, let the kids know that you are there for the show and that you will *not* be buying *anything*. When their eyes glaze over in wonder at the cool toys that are available, pull them onward to their seats, so it is clear that you are not buying. Then, when they've settled and gotten over their disappointment, pull out the treats you've prepared ahead of time. You can tell them, if you want, that Thomas prepared this extra special treat just for them, something so special it's not even available to the general public.

That's what I would do, anyway, but of course you have to do what works for your family. I know it can be *so* hard to say no.

Good luck, and have fun!

Heather

Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: t09w
Thu, 07-07-2005 - 8:09am
Hi Kellie - feel free to vent away :)

All my best,
Danni

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: t09w
Thu, 07-07-2005 - 1:04pm
Hi! I agree with spending limits, especially when it comes to events like Thomas, which we have done several times. I do not know how it is setup where you will be going, but we went to Stasburg, PA and they had several different tents with different stuff to do. There was a tent for free activities like temporary tatoos, coloring etc. A tent for free train play (lots of tables wet up with Thomas train layouts. My DD could stay all day.) And the merchandise tent. We use Thomas events as an oppruntinty to get a rare find. Something not available in our local store. Sometimes its a book, train, puzzle or even a flashlight.
Perhaps a good compromise between you and DH would be to give them $10 and have then earn a little extra with chores.
Good luck
Sandra
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2005
In reply to: t09w
Thu, 07-07-2005 - 9:04pm

How about indulging your kids in a more lasting way? I had very few toys when growing up and had to wear hand-me downs. My parents saved up all the money and when I was ready for college, they paid for the whole thing!!! No student loan to repay! (Not from my bachelor's degree anyway. I did take out some loan for my master's degree but it was not that much and managed to pay it off within 4 years).

Whenever you feel the urge to buy a little toy for your kids, just think about if it were you, do you rather have some toy right now (which you will get tired of soon), or being able to get an education without incurring loads of debt?