Well...that's it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2001
Well...that's it.
7
Thu, 07-21-2005 - 2:40pm

There is no avoiding it now....time for BKY-13.

Called a local BKY atty...see how to get this going.

$102K in Credit Cards from the divorce. And now the credit is feeding on itself.

I feel like such a failure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Thu, 07-21-2005 - 2:55pm
I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are NOT a failure. Your marriage ended; you did not fail. Your finances are in chaos because of all of this. That does not make you a failure. You will get through this and rebuild your life one day at a time. When I filed bankruptcy, I felt like a failure too, things were such a mess. But the circumstances being what they were, I felt I had no choice. You will get through this. You are still a good person. You may be suprised that you may feel some relief also. I was relieved too. Because people weren't constantly calling me for money; calling me a work; at home; at all hours of the day. I was able to put it behind me and move on, and now I am getting my financial life back on track. I hope the same comes true for you. Take care and keep posting!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 07-21-2005 - 3:09pm

$102K!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, I know many people will say avoid bankruptcy if you can, but that is outrageous. If you didn't have the alimony payments you could maybe get out of it in a 3-5 years, but I can see where you are probably drowning as it is and just need some relief to be able to live day to day.

For the record, this does not make you a failure. You are a great father and you've survived a nasty divorce and custody battle from heck with a disasterous and dangerous IE. I have read that a large number of bankruptcies result from divorce, if this makes your life as a family survivable, then that makes you an incredibly normal parent doing what he has to in order to survive.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 07-21-2005 - 3:15pm

You are NOT your debt. You are NOT your finances.

You are NOT a failure.

You are going through a long, dark time right now. But it's not forever. Just keep plugging. Do what you have to do to survive, and look for the day when you will thrive.

And keep coming here. Just because you're in BK doesn't mean you won't have issues, problems, support needs, etc. that we can help with. AND, for what it's worth, you'll be able to provide an often-needed insider's perspective on BK for people who are considering it. We want and need you here.

I'm so sorry things are looking so ugly for you right now. Chin up. And may you see many blessings in the not-too-distant future.

Peace,

Heather

Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-21-2005 - 3:20pm
You're not a failure.

All my best,
Danni

Avatar for mymartes
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-21-2005 - 3:32pm

Don't be so hard on yourself. $102K is alot. If you need to file BK to survive, then be it.

Look at it as a fresh start, a new beginning in life. Close the last chapter and move on.

MYM

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 07-21-2005 - 4:01pm
Everyone has already said everything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2003
Thu, 07-21-2005 - 7:13pm

Nope, sorry, you're NOT a failure. What you are is over your head, and grabbing a lifeline!

I know that it's not fun to be you right now, but if this is what needs to happen, then make it happen. I know what it's like to be on the short end of the divorce decree alimony/child support stuff. When my DH & I got married, we got less (lots less) of his paycheck than his ex-wife did, along with quite a few 'unexpected' bills. It took us many many years to break even, and get more of his paycheck than she did.

You're right when you say the credit feeds on itself-with fees and all that, it can be very difficult to make headway.

You're going to come out of this a totally different person, and having learned a very valuable lesson. Don't get it into your head that YOU are a failure, because that will stick and follow you for a long time. Just know that you are getting a new start, and make the most of it.

Good luck-
Lisa