Update on gift from aunt

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Update on gift from aunt
8
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 2:01pm

I'm not looking for advice this time, just thought those of you who took the time to give me your thoughtful advice ought to know that the situation has changed a bit. Some of you may disagree with the decision we've made, but we feel it is right for us.

After making our decision on the money, and setting it all aside in our accounting process, but before actually making the debt payment, dh came home from work one day and asked, "What if your aunt really did feel the Spirit moving her to give us that money? But what if the money wasn't meant for us directly?" I asked him what he meant and he brought up the topic of our friends who are seriously struggling at the moment, due in part to mismanagement, but also in part to a rough couple of years. She's British and waiting on a work permit, after which she has a nice job waiting, but in the mean time they aren't able to pay all their bills.

Most of you know I'm not a proponent of "helping" people by giving them an easy way out of things. So I was hesitant about following this lead, but after some thought it occurred to me that I could really use my friend's help around the house for the next few weeks while she's waiting on her permit.

So we made them a proposal, and are using part of the money as a "gift" (we can't technically pay her, as she doesn't have her work permit yet, but we are allowed to give her gifts in the quantities that we're talking about) in exchange for her help. So far she has transcribed an interview for me, and later this week she's going to play with my kids while I finish some web copy work I'm running behind on, and while I do some sales work for my business.

In a way, it's an investment, because I really need the help to give my business a kick in the butt. And in another way, it's nice to be able to help our friends in this way. Once she goes back to work full-time, whatever remains of the money we'll use the way we had originally discussed.

And, ultimately, it feels right to us to do this. We had friends help us find jobs and in other indirect ways when we were really struggling, so it's nice to be able to pay it forward a bit.

Just thought you all ought to know this. Especially because when I give my debt totals next time, they won't be *quite* as low as I was expecting. But it's worth it.

Thanks again for all the thoughts and help.

Blessings,

Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2003
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 2:16pm

I think what you decided to do is an excellent idea. Indirectly,you will still be helping your debt totals go down, because you'll be able to get more work done. Sure, the drop in the total won't be as spectacular, but I think that you will be making a more lasting impact with how you are doing this.

Isn't it great to have not only the choice, but also the ability to help others!

Good on you, lady!

Lisa

Avatar for mymartes
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 2:50pm

I agree w/Lisa. I think you did good. You need the help to get work done and bring in more money. Your friend sounds like they definitely need money. Therefore, you both came out winning.

MYM

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 8:45pm

Actually, I think it's a win-win deal!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 9:35pm

Hi Lisa,

I just looked back at the outline for my original "gift from aunt" post and realized that I never responded directly to your response--and it was such a terrific response! It really hit on the head so many things that I agree with, especially the bit about keeping the flow going. I SO believe in that.

Anyway, thanks again for your feedback here. It means a lot that you think we're doing the right thing.

And, yes, it's so wonderful to have options. As I believe you pointed out earlier, three years ago a windfall like this would have gone to cover bills that we were behind on, without any real options (except, who gets paid now and who gets paid--maybe--next month). And now we have SO many options, including options that allow us to help others even as we help ourselves.

How cool is that?

Thanks so much, and many blessings to you as well,

Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 9:36pm

Thanks, MYM! It's always good to hear your two cents--seems like we think a lot alike much of the time. :)

Blessings,

Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 9:39pm

Thanks, Becky! Whew! For some reason, every time I post a decision or a big "what to do" question, I get nervous thinking that I'm gonna hear things I don't want to hear (like, "What the heck are you thinking?" LOL even though I know no one here would say it in those words). It's always a pleasant thing to come here and discover that several people think I'm doing the right thing. I trust ya'll's judgement so much.

Hey, and congrats on the great back-to-school deals. :)

Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2005
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 8:25am

I think you sound like very generous people and great friends and I think it will show since you are just keeping it all flowing and it will come back to you.
Great job!

Shannon

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 8:46am

Thanks Shannon! We've had so many great friends ourselves, and so many people do nice things for us (like my aunt, lol), that it's nice to pass it on. My parents were always very generous, so I grew up around it and saw how it constantly came back to us. We were very blessed growing up, even when we didn't have a lot of money. And my parents always made a point of telling us about the returns they received for their good deeds (like the time a homeless man who was staying with us accidentally smashed the door of Dad's prize sports car by opening it as Mom was pulling into the garage, and Mom *didn't* get mad! LOL And then, a week later, they received a surprise influx of cash in exactly the amount to fix the door LOLOLOL).

Anyway, I appreciate the support. :)

Blessings,

Heather