Self-discipline. My light-bulb moment
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| Sun, 08-07-2005 - 10:43am |
Hello everyone,
those of you who are aroudn here some time longer will kow that I am not a newbie here, either. It is quite some time now since I started to visit this board - more or less regularly. I posted, shared thoughts, picked up lots of ideas, in short: Did with this board what a support group is thought for.
The only thing I never seemed to manage was reducing my debt significantly.
That send me into some thinking, brooding, reading, watching myself and my habits about as closely as I would watch someone else in a research assignment. And noticed a few things I really do not like to admit about myself. Those things I took and analyzed with a very distanced, professional attitude, just as if it wasn't me but someone else (I am a qualified social scientist and social worker by schooling and degrees, though currently I don't work in that field)
The result was: My main problem is self-disciplin.
Not a nice thing to admit to oneself. But I looked into the bathroom mirror and said it: I lack the necessary self-discipline to get out of debt. I simply don't apply myself to that task enough.
Since I know I CAN push myself hard, and have done so frequently in the past few years, that did point to another unwanted truth: Obviously, debt reduction was not as high on my priorities as I made myself believe. Oh yeah, I come to this board, I think twice before running to the mall and start to buy totally unnecessary items which only end up in some dark corner of my wardrobe and my consciousness. But that is not debt reduction. That is forcing myself to be at least somewhat reasonsible, as any grown-up should be. And at the age of almost 32 I certainly qualify as grown-up.
For a week now I have been writing down each and every cent I spend, earn, find, give. I use a simple MS-Excel spreadsheet. I decided to think of myself as of any other client I would have as a social worker, and it seems to work. Well, so far, but at least week 1 is now safely tackled, and it feels good. It feels like actually having made an important step towards freedom of debt. I sat tdown and rethought my priorities, went through all those regular excuses, wrote them down, looked at them - and was ashamed. I looked at my bank statement and was, well, slightly taken aback at my ignorance of how much I pay each month for insurances. Didn't really have that on my finacial radar. Oops.
I will see how far that slightly schizophrenic approach of self-counsel will carry. But it looks worth a try.
... just wanted to share that with you. Thanks for reading.
Jordis

((((Hugs))) Jordis!
Looking at yourself as an outsider would, and truly seeing where your faults (or even your strengths) lie, is Very difficult, so CONGRATULATIONS on such a huge step!!
Remember as you treat yourself like a client and inspect and analyze every expenditure and spending habit.....to ALSO treat yourself like a client and spend equal time praising your improvements, your efforts, and recalling past proof that you CAN push yourself, you CAN work hard, you CAN do this, in time.
((Hugs)) again!
~ Teresa
Teresa
http://www.affordingpickles.blogspot.com
Wow-your post sure hit home with me! *I* could have said most of that, except that I haven't analyzed myself or the patterns. Yet.
I know I've become complacent, and don't have the intensity that I used to. There are days that I know that I mentally think, "Ah, it's not like I'm ever going to completely shake off these debts..."
I remember the saying of Dave Ramsey-if you ran a company called YOU INC, would you fire you over the way you have been running it? Well, unfortunately, yes, I'd have not only fired me, I'd probably have sued me, lol!
Ah, but now that we know this, we can do better-
Thanks for posting this-
Lisa
I think it's great that you are able to observe yourself from an "outsider perspective" :)
I know self-discipline is a point I struggle with as I'm sure many other here do too.
Becky
CL of 4th, 5th & 6th grade Scoliosis