Major stress
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Major stress
| Wed, 08-10-2005 - 5:53pm |
Hubby and I have lots of debt...student loans, medical bills, etc. He works a "temp" job...but he's been there for over a year, and this company hires on permanently about about 18 months of being a "temp". It doesn't very well. I actually make more money than him... and our $3,500/month income is about 60% me/40% him.

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HUGS!!!!
I know this is a very scary time for you with all the uncertainty but it is affecting your health (if you end up in the hospital with a heart attack, it may make the decision for you).
One thing that struck me is that you said she sees it more of a hobby - if that's the case, then she may never close the business even if it goes in the red.
I have worked in small offices before and everything gets condensed to more personal level so it does make these decisions harder.
Becky
CL of 4th, 5th & 6th grade Scoliosis
OK, I'm not going to be as gentle as the previous posts. I think you are digging your own grave. If she just won't give the business up, and you won't leave no matter what your mother says or what your blood pressure tells you, then you are S-O-L.
Why do you think they call you on your days off? Why do you think they take vacations and you don't? I suspect that they know they can take advantage of (you'd say "rely on") you. They don't think of it as taking advantage, because you willingly go above and beyond the call of duty.
It is not your boss' problem that you are not paid enough. It is not your boss' problem that you won't quit even when you sometimes don't get paid. She only has to worry about whether or not *she* can afford to keep this business running, and obviously she can. To her, it's not about the money. But this is YOUR JOB. It has to be about money for you. You are an ideal employee for her. You don't make waves, don't complain, take whatever they pile on you, and will even do it for less or no pay. It is not her problem that you won't quit.
You MUST find a new job. If you don't, then frankly, you need to shut up about it. It's not your boss' fault that you are in this position. It's a job, not an eternally binding contract. You are free to quit at any time. So go out there, line up some interviews, and take some time off to go on them. Since your boss should be paying you more because you are so highly skilled, then you should have no problem finding a better-paying job.
You need to face the music. The problem is not going to go away on its own. I wouldn't pay somebody who is a workaholic and never complains if there isn't enough to pay her that month either. If she has money for her own expenses, it may be that she will be able to come up with more money to keep you if you are that integral to the company. However, you need to be serious about leaving. You need to find two job listings and set up interviews by tomorrow, ok?
SNAP OUT OF IT!!! I hate to be this harsh, but this is nobody's fault but your own, and only you can fix it. You need to stop fixating on what you feel your boss should do and start concentrating on what *you* can do.
Hi,
I was laid off in 03 after enduring about 6 months of stress from the 'restructuring' of our small organization brought on by a new director. I learned a few things from that experience: a job is not a life; people will take advantage of you if you let them; work friends are not family; and nobody--NOBODY--is as indispensable as they think they are.
I agree w/ the previous posters who mentioned that your boss will most certainly put her own needs above yours in any scenario. Not because she's mean, but because it is HER business and HER life. You need to worry about your own life (and health).
Unemployment is not all it's cracked up to be. It's less than your regular pay, has a time limit, and a few requirements that I found to be unenjoyable (like checking in by phone every Sunday night). Also in our state you are required to take the first job offered to you if it's at least 60% of your previous salary (or you lose unemployment benefits).
It's probably best to brush off your resume and go out and start selling yourself. You might find a work environment you like even better!!!
Hope this helps a little,
BK
oh--I wanted to add something to my previous post:
I don't think it would be in your best interest to discuss looking for a new job with your current boss. A new company will certainly understand your reason for leaving (keep it brief); ask them to keep your inquiry confidential until/unless they are prepared to offer you a position. Then you can hand her a letter of resignation and prepare her for the call. Don't be shy about what you expect her to say.
For future job searches (when she will be used as an 'old' reference), you may want to prepare a letter of recommendation for yourself on letterhead (mentioning all the positive things you listed in your post), then ask her to sign a few original copies at the time you resign.
BK
I can certainly understand your feelings of loyality. I worked for a small bookstore way back in the mid 1990s. I too was called in on my days off to fill in for people or make sure things got done. I was called in at 5 am for inventories when only management was supposed to be there (I wasn't management at the time). It didn't bother me because I was single at the time. I rarely worked closing and didn't mind working weekends.
After I got married however, the store manager decided I never needed to see my new DH. I always worked the closing shift, putting me home after 9 pm just long enough to kiss DH good night. I also worked every weekend. We never got to see each other (not good for a new marriage!)
After about 3 months of this, I looked for a new job, without telling my old boss. When they asked why I was quitting my job, I told them honestly. I had the late shift and all the weekends and I needed a job where I could spend more time with my DH. They gave me time to tell her I had been hired at a new job and then called her for a reference. To make sure I got a good reference I agreed to work weekends until after Christmas (I gave notice in OCT--the start of the busiest time in retail).
You have to consider your health and the fact that you haven't been able to take a vacation or even a day off in the last few years would certainly contribute to your declining health.
Send out your resume, apply for jobs and when you get one, give your boss your notice. You may want to agree to do work in the evenings until she can find someone to do your job, or work on call on the weekends, whatever, so her feelings aren't as hurt. You made need her as a reference in the future. Just remember though. The longer you work for a new company, the less you need her. And if her feelings are that hurt and she will never give you a good reference, you can get references from other places. Do volunteer work, get a reference from your minister, neighbors, whatever. There are other places other than former employers. (As a matter of fact, I still use my high school English teacher as a reference :-)).
Good luck and you have to do what is best for you, not someone who has a business only for social or business contacts.
JMHO,
Kellie
So sorry you're going through this. But it sounds to me like you are being taken advantage of. If you are managing the business, it will fold if you leave. Sounds to me like you have more leverage than you think.
Does this business owner actually expect you to stay and work with no pay? What kind of business is that? It may be a hobby for the owner but it's a livelihood for you. If she's truly your friend, she'll help you find another position within the industry.
Time for a heart to heart talk. If your boss won't see reality, you will have to do something to take care of yourself.
Maybe you can reduce your hours if the worry is making you sick--get more relaxation that way and have time to jobsearch.
Don't be a martyr--remember they always end up dead!
Good Luck
Hello Phoenixgirl12! ITA with you. You took the words right out of my mouth. And as another poster said - there is NO JOB on this planet worth your health. Like you, my reply to the original poster was gonna be a little harsh and I don't want to get kicked off.
P.S. - to the original poster, please take Phoenixgirl12 advice - how much can you do with bad health and God forbid - even death. Please post back to us and let us know how you are doing.
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