Dang now I'm down....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Dang now I'm down....
2
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 10:41pm

Foolish me....I went to the SAHM/WOHM debate board after reading Hazeleyes post and now I feel like the world's biggest idiot. We do have a car payment, we do have student loans, I do take vacations. I think one of the hardest parts for me with having debt is that we went for 2 years with none and it was great so I really miss that. Secondly, the whole time we were doing that we were both in grad. school and kept telling ourselves we could do without this or that until real jobs came well DH has a real job and we still don't do any of that in fact we do less. O.K. I do get to live in a house with a yard instead of married student housing with 600 square feet. But, we have 12,000 in CC debt and most of that comes from the 3 months between grad. school and DH starting the job where we didn't have a paycheck but did move and bought our first house.

I know we will eventually pay this off and life will feel good but right now it seems endless you know? And while DH is not a spendthrift, he's not willing to give up everything possible either. We've compromised that his extra money buys extra things so when he works camps in the summer that makes vacation happen but still.

Plus, I feel terrible because it took me 2 years to get him to start putting money into a retirement account, then we stopped because of school. 2 years have gone by and we still don't contribute. It hasn't had great returns so paying off debt may be more beneficial but still (he would be putting into the same one he was before so I see the returns on statements). He has no type of matching contributions, etc. from his employer or I would push this even more.

I know this is rambling, just feeling like I'm on the treadmill of life and there's no emergency stop.

T.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 8:04am

Could you post a link to the specific post, I tried finding it last night but was unable to locate it?

Remember you are not your debt! You are wiser now, and you will get through this.

SHannon

Shannon


Pregnancy%20ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 8:43am

T.,
When I was in high school (yikes, my 10 yr reunion came and went), I joined the swim team. Now I;m about 4'11", 95 pounds, and no amount of training would make me a great athlete. Really...by size alone. But at the beginning of the season, I wrote out a list of goals for myself, and by the end, had met 4 out of 5 of them, and I really didn't think I would meet any because that is how ridiculous it seemed to me. But anyway, I was competing against myself more than the other swimmers. I did place second a few times, and won the "most improved". I was happy for my accomplishments even though I never came in first.
When it comes to money, I try to do the same. I learn from others, I set personal goals, and I try to do my personal best. Nobody's situation is exactly the same so that comparing would be fair. Even though we have debt, taking vacations is important to me...my dh and I work near 80 hours a week...they are not extravagant. We have TWO car payments. (Granted, we have Toyota Corollas..not exactly top of the line.) Our cc debt is double yours. My husband still has a student loan. Do I get down about it at times? Yes. But I also know that for our set of circumstances we are doing pretty damned good.
There are things we could have done better. There are still things we could do better. But change is a process. And we still have to LIVE while we are digging ourselves out of this mess. We are starved for time, that is where some of the convenience-related expenses have come in (going through the drive thru at McDonald's, etc)

But anyway, as long as you know with certainty that you are making a real effort, I wouldn't bother beating yourself up about it. You are always going to find somebody somewhere who is happiest when they can make someone feel a little bit more doubt about themselves!! Heather