Need prayers and positive thoughts

Avatar for mrslove2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Need prayers and positive thoughts
13
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 12:39pm

It's been a tough couple of months. Things haven't been going well for DH at his job that he started back in May. This month we've been struggling with back to school expenses, unexpected vet bills, higher gas prices,etc etc. Well, Friday he was laid off. The only good thing is he will be paid through Sept 15th. I don't know what we are going to do. He has been looking for another job since he started this one in May. We've been considering selling our home but are unsure of the market in our area. I am praying constantly. (I think that is the only thing that has kept me from going bonkers) It's really tough on our DD. She is almost ten and wise beyond her years. I don't want her worrying about our finances or DH job's situation. Anyone else going through or been through the same thing? What keeps you going?

Thanks for letting me spill my guts. I'm off to clean DD's room, again.

Susan

<ahref="http://www.TickerFactory.com/debt/wJLmWvM/"><imgborder="0"src="http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/wJLmWvM/debt.png"></a>

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 12:50pm

I am sorry that you are going through this! Hope your husband finds a job quickly!

"I'm off to clean DD's room, again."

BTW - Why are you cleaning a 10 year olds room? I would have never done it the first time, and I surely would not do it a second time. Remember she is wise beyond her years, so she can handle putting her laundry & stuff away.

Shannon

Shannon


Pregnancy%20ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2003
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 1:20pm

HUgs Susan!

Know that you are not alone in the day to day struggle! So many of us here are feeling it, too....while the others Have felt it and can remember it well.

I know it is sooo hard to convince yourself of this...but try to have faith that all things happen for a reason, if you have been praying for a solution and he has not been happy at this job....something good may be right around the corner for you...more than you could have imagined. Be strong, continue to work for the life you want, and know that DD will learn how to deal with the worry and the situation by watching how you and your DH deal with it. All you can do is continue to move forward, one day at a time.

I know that doesnt help now, but I just wanted to respond and let you know you're not alone.

Hugs,

~ Teresa

Teresa
http://www.affordingpickles.blogspot.com

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 3:00pm

Susan,


I'm so sorry to hear your DH has been laid off!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 3:13pm

Hope things look up for you soon. I don't have any advice, just support, and a few thoughts about your daughter. Personally, I think the best way to help a wise 10 year old with stress and worry, is to lay the cards on the table with her. I know when I was ten, I worried far more about things under the surface that I knew were going on but that no one was talking about or explaining, than about things that were laid out for me. It's that fear of the unknown thing.

So, what I would do in your situation to help her cope, is to choose a time when I'm feeling full of faith and relatively at peace. Then sit down with her and start with something like, "I imagine you're wondering why your dad and I have been kind of stressed out lately." Then just explain the situation, including a statement of your faith about it, and also laying out for her the most likely scenarios, including the "worst case" scenario. Once she knows what is happening and what might happen in the future, she can stop stressing about some awful thing that she can't even imagine--her imagination is probably worse than the reality, if she's anything like me! LOL She'll also get to hear first-hand about your faith and see that while you are worried too, life is still going on and that it's not unsurmountable.

We can't shield our children completely from the dangers, risks, and stresses of the world. But we can teach them how to cope, and I think the first step is to be good models, and the second step is to communicate about what's going on.

Don't forget to give her an opportunity to ask questions and to have them answered truthfully and sympathetically, but coming from a base of faith.

Good luck, many blessings, and hang in there. :)

Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2003
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 7:21pm

"She is almost ten and wise beyond her years."

Mrs. Love,

This so reminded me of me. Almost 30 years ago when my parents told my sister and me that they were going to separate (they later got back together), the first words out of my mouth were, "Who's going to have the checkbook?" I was six years old--talk about too much worry for a little kid!

I think what would have been helpful to me then, and also later when I was twelve and my dad was laid off, was frequent reassurance from both of my parents that they were going to take care of me always, no matter what. And that is wasn't my job to worry about money.

Good luck to you.

Wendy

Avatar for mrslove2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 8:23pm

Thanks for the support, Shannon. Two good things about me when I am stressed; I eat less and I am a cleaning maniac! DDs room isn't something I do on a regular basis. I started "cleaning" out the closet before school started then got overwhelmed and put it on the back burner. If I leave it up to her, she would still have baby clothes and blankets in her room. (major pack rat) So today I decided to finish it. We got rid of 2 bags of toys she has outgrown not to mention 3 bags of old school papers, broken toys, completed coloring books etc. She does a good job keeping it "clean" on a regular basis, making her bed, putting away clothes etc. We had a "treasure" hunt to see who could "discover" the most things. I was amazed what had accumulated in such a short time.

Susan

<ahref="http://www.TickerFactory.com/debt/wJLmWvM/"><imgborder="0"src="http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/wJLmWvM/debt.png"></a>

Avatar for mrslove2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 8:25pm

Teresa~ thanks for reminding me to have faith that all things happen for a reason. That is something I tell DH all the time, however, do not hear it back often. DH tends to 'shut down' when he is stressed so I feel even more isolated and that all the responsibility is on me (I *Know* it's not) I am so glad to have the support from you all here.

Susan

<ahref="http://www.TickerFactory.com/debt/wJLmWvM/"><imgborder="0"src="http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/wJLmWvM/debt.png"></a>

Avatar for mrslove2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 8:28pm

Thanks, Becky. Tonight DH and I are discussing the housing situation. He really wants to sell and then rent somewhere. However, we won't have a tax savings if we rent. He would also like to relocated about 2 hrs away where he could find work easier, but that means leaving my VERY good job and taking a chance of replacing my income. Why O why couldn't we win the Lottery? LOL

Susan

<ahref="http://www.TickerFactory.com/debt/wJLmWvM/"><imgborder="0"src="http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/wJLmWvM/debt.png"></a>

Avatar for mrslove2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 8:30pm

I took your suggestion Heather and talked one on one with with DD. She said she really hadn't noticed too much and was ok. I guess I had made a mountain out of what she sees is a molehill. LOL Thanks for the blessings, we can use all the ones we can get right now.

Susan

<ahref="http://www.TickerFactory.com/debt/wJLmWvM/"><imgborder="0"src="http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/wJLmWvM/debt.png"></a>

Avatar for mrslove2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-28-2005 - 8:31pm

Thanks, Wendy. I guess we all need reassurance from time to time.

Susan

<ahref="http://www.TickerFactory.com/debt/wJLmWvM/"><imgborder="0"src="http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/wJLmWvM/debt.png"></a>

Pages