drowning

Avatar for aerandel
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
drowning
4
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 11:57am
My boyfriend of 6 years and I live with my parents. He is seriously struggling with all of his bills. The job he works at pays sporadically, whenever his boss feels like paying him. There is no set date and often my bf has to remind his boss to pay him. Last payday was 3 weeks "late" from when he is supposed to pay. He just took on another job selling Real Estate but it's tough to get started and we are still waiting for some good fortune there in the form of a sale. So every time bf's bills are late, of course interest rates go up, late fees tacked on, etc. He had a loan for 500 dollars though our local bank and he couldn't pay it. He put money in his account when he finally got paid and send out payments for his car and his credit card, both of which were overdue even more so than the loan. The bank decided to just take his money from his account without asking and pay off his loan. And they took away his overdraft priveledge. He is negative in his account with all kinds of fees, and the two bills he tried to pay got sent back to the bank which now means he has fees on those and everything. Things are sooo bad...on my end, things are better. I am drowning in debt but am managing to make all my payments on time and help bf where I can. The only thing bf has that is not late is his student loan payments, because I am busting my butt to make sure they are paid because we had to ask my grandmother to co-sign for him on the loans--nobody else around with good credit willing to help. I will do anything and everything I can to protect my grandmother's credit, even if it means we both go under. We got some papers to see about possibly deferring the payments on the student loans due to financial hardship, etc, but we haven't had a chance to send them out yet. I am soo frustrated and upset. BF announced today that he needs at least 3000 dollars just get caught up on all the late payments on his accounts. He said he would declare bankruptcy but it costs money. We are only 22 years old and already in such a huge mess. We have tried to protect his credit though the hard times but it finally all came apart, and now that negative stuff will be on there for a long time, probably will affect when we want to get a house, etc. I feel like he is already screwed over for a big part of his life. I love him and want to build a life with him, doing everything I can to help him. He is showing a house to someone on Sunday, they are very interested. If sold, commission will be 2-3K. Please everyone say a prayer for us. We need a sale desperately. Any advice would be appreciated.

                          

             

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: aerandel
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 2:03pm

Hugs!!!

Avatar for aerandel
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: aerandel
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 2:27pm
Thanks for your thoughts. Bf started looking today for a new job, possibly working at our local hospital. If he can get some kind of night job at the hospital he could get health insurance (another issue but to make a long story short he really needs it right now) and get a steady paycheck. He is reluctant to leave his job because although his boss is a flake he is making 15 dollars an hour (much more than working at our local hospital or anywhere else in the area, small town) when he gets paid that is, and it is doing something he loves, teaching music lessons to kids. If his boss would get his act together it would be a great job. Thanks!

                          

             

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: aerandel
Sat, 09-03-2005 - 9:20am

I know it's hard when it essentially will be a pay-cut but couldn't he teach music to kids in private lessons - basically eliminating "the middleman" so to speak?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2004
In reply to: aerandel
Sun, 09-04-2005 - 1:20am
Hi, Aerandel. I agree with Becky and others. l) Get the hospital gig. It may pay less, but with health insurance, etc. and other benes, it would probably add up to the $15/hr. See if he can set up an automatic debit to the credit union each month. Take any continuing education classes offered. CPR, for example. 2) Leave other job, in a nice way. Get reference. If I had a job that paid me 3 wks late, no matter how much I loved it, I would be outta there. Example: I had a job that paid among the lowest in the industry. Sometimes, the checks were late. Or, they would take money for the insurance to use in other ways. Or, forget to pay the insurance. Why did I stay? Comfort zone. Close to home. Belief that it was only thing I could get after I got laid off, it was my lifeline. Did it hurt us financially? Absolutely. Almost filed for bankrupcy. Prospective employers questioned me why I was only making XXX amount of $$$ when others with my experience were making more. I cannot tell you how I agonized over leaving something that, in someways, I loved, because I felt I "owed" them because they gave me my job back when I was laid off. I heard from the parents, co-workers, friends, DH, and everyone. Did I listen? No. Eventually, I had to make up my mind that I was WORTH MORE. 3) Mail the student loan thing off today. I have a question. Do you pay your parents a monthly rent? Can you get it decreased for a month or two, say, if you buy the food or do odd jobs around the house? 4) Bank! Oh yes, I went through a period where I bounced checks. Did they want to close my account? Yes. So, I opened a savings account and got overdraft protection so that I wouldnt get slapped with high fees. 5) Real estate. Is bf licensed? Do they sponsor classes for licensure? Every person I know that does real estate, does it on the side, and keeps their day job. I sincerely wish you every bit of luck and prayer. Whiz.