Any other single moms here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Any other single moms here?
9
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 7:12pm

I was just wondering if there are any other single moms, or single moms of teenagers here? I try to read the posts regularly, and it seems there are several SAHMs, but I may have missed the single mom posts. Things seem to be so much harder since it is just me and my daughter (son is grown and moved out on his own).

Gomom99

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2004
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 9:21pm

Hi! I am a single mother of a thirteen year-old boy. Yes, it is hard sometimes. He is going through a major growth spurt right now and he eats a lot. So I have to buy more clothes, sneakers, and food. I took money out of my savings to buy him 2 pairs of sneakers - different sizes within 2 months. But I refuse to use a credit card. I work full time and clean two houses (get paid under the table) a week for extra cash.

How are you making out with raising a teenage girl by yourself?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 9:39pm
I am a single mom too, although my kids are younger. My son will be 11 this month, and my daughter is 8. It is expensive, I guess at any age though. Especially not getting child support, but that's for a whole other post lol! It's definately been a struggle at times, but actually things are much better for me and the kids, since their dad and I split up. He hardly ever worked, so for me it was like supporting three kids, and now I only have two to support! But financially its still tough. Emotionally too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2005
Wed, 09-07-2005 - 10:47pm
Single mom here also. Son will be 12 in November. Yes it is hard both financially and emotionally. Been able to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. Yet can never catch up on the utilities. Usually pay them when i get the shut off notice. It's hard when you know your child is depending on you and you are suppose to be the responsible one but the ends just don't seem to meet.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 3:00am

Another single mom chiming in!


My DS is younger though....SIX tomorrow.

Hugs~ Lexi

"Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars" ~ Les Brown


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Thu, 09-08-2005 - 11:18am

Count me in the club.

I've got 4 kids, been divorced nearly 3 years now.

Oldest is in college on scholarship, help from a trust fund set up by my parents years ago, her earnings and help from her dad. Next is a HS senior boy, a HS freshman girl and a 3rd grader.

Financially, things have been a huge challenge for me. Ex made a lot of $$, I was a SAHM. Ex was fighting for custody ever since the D. All the money I got in the property split is now owned by my attorney, thus ex gave up the fight after exacting financial revenge. Not a good situation. We share possession of the kids, he pays no CS but he pays nearly all of their direct expenses. It's a tough situation when one household has 5X the $$ that the other one does.

I am essentially starting over in my career and still live paycheck to paycheck, but I see improvement in baby steps. I read these messages for ideas and inspiration.

Good luck to you!

Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2004
Fri, 09-09-2005 - 10:02am
Single mom here in Maryland. Two boys, 10 and 4. Very, very difficult.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 09-09-2005 - 10:28am
Another one here. I have a 7 year old son and have been on my own since day 1. His father does pay support (although there have been some significant gaps between payments). Fortunately, I can make it with or with the support. Of course regular support makes it easier. You're definitely not alone.
Avatar for sunshine2u2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2004
Sun, 09-11-2005 - 7:37am

Hello,

I am a single mom and I can definetly relate. I have two teenagers at home. I just got divorced in May, and I have seem to have lost my mind where money is concerned. I never have any money and I can't seem to manage what little I do have. I have done stupid things like bounce checks (not on purpose) and then not openned the notices so that I had to pay a huge fee for a 12 check. I have to get myself together that is for sure. It is really, really hard. I am not sorry for the divorce but the trauma of going from two incomes to one has been unbelievable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2003
Sun, 09-11-2005 - 11:03am

Thanks for all the responses. I had some debt when I left my ex-husband, but it got worse. When I left I took only personal items.... I had to buy furniture, towels, dishes, everything all the way down to silverware and toothbrush holders. I slept on the floor the first three weeks. I tried to buy most things either at an auction, used items, but there were times when I used my credit cards. And at the time I had both of my teenagers at home, and no child support at all for the first 19 months. It adds up. Now I have just my dd at home, and I do get child support, but it's kind of like snow..... you're never sure when it will show up or how much you will get. I struggle from payday to payday, and many times it to not-quite-payday.

I do see a small ray of light now, I have been doing lots of overtime lately (60 plus hours a week), and the last six weeks I have actually made some progress. I will make two online payments today that will bring the last of my credit cards up to date AND below the limits, which hasn't been the case for a few months. I will also (I think) be able to send the last payment to my propane bill. That's a good thing, but I'll have to buy more soon, so it's a temporary. I am doing without things I need, but I'm getting by, and hopefully it will only be another month or so until I have a little more breathing room. And I have auctions ending today on ebay, and they will probably bring in around $40, maybe more. That's not a lot of help, but it's help.

I hope everyone is having a great Sunday. Lots going on today, since it is the anniversary of the 9/11 bombing, and it's also Grandparent's Day. Great weather here in Missouri and I should be outside, but I think I'll catch up on some much needed sleep before I start my week again.