New and Need Your Advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
New and Need Your Advice
2
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 3:00pm

It started six years ago when I went through a divorce. My ex-husband left me with $40,000 in credit card debt I didn't know about. I had to file bankruptcy to save my home. Now, remarried for three years, I am finding myself in a similar situation. My husband applies for credit cards all the time, doesn't tell me because he knows how I feel about them (I don't have any in my name except for a JC Penney card I have had for 20+ years). He is always charging purchases or ordering from catalogs and doesn't bother to ask how much money is in the bank before making purchases. I make a decent salary, but it is becoming increasingly difficult to even pay the interest charges on the credit cards, along with catalog orders, and the usual monthly bills. We are always playing "catch-up" with the bills. I don't want to file bankruptcy again but I'm so frustrated at this point, I don't know which way to go. The creditors keep calling so I've resorted to not answering my home phone. Everyone (family and friends) know to call my cell phone if they want to talk. Right now we are living paycheck to paycheck. HELP!!

Frustrated in IN

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2004
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 8:59pm
Hi, there. Your DH (boyfriend?) is doing what I did a few yrs ago. Opening accounts. Creative charges. Catalogues galaore. Etc. You both need to sit down and have a meeting. Have everything laid out, spreadsheet style. For me, DH had to sit down and make lists on a notepad. Very basic. Sobering. It would take up to 20 yrs to pay everything off (as Danni wisely pointed out). Plus---if your credit goes caput, it is hard to qualify for jobs, loans, mortgage, favorable interest rates, good ratings, etc. Had to resort to closing or cutting up all the cards. (except gas). Start a budget. Since gas is so expensive, I dont go out anymore, except to corner store, etc. Whiz.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 4:00pm

Hi. Thanks for your reply. About six months ago I was ready to separate our money and the bills because my husband wouldn't stop applying for cards, spending money needlessly, and ordering from catalogs. In the last couple of months, he has stopped the needless spending (eating lunch out every day, instead of taking his lunch, etc.) and has started watching his money more carefully. About a year ago we sat down and made a list of our debt, including our monthly expenses, versus our income. We even prepared a budget to follow. He didn't take it to heart then, why would he do it now? I'm frustrated at this point and wonder how it's all going to end. The future isn't looking to bright at this point. Thanks for listening!