On hiding debt from spouse
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 10-13-2005 - 1:57pm |
I've noticed over the months and years, that this is a common theme, hiding debt from spouses. It seems like for those who are involved, on either side of the issue, to often be the most painful, scary, and challenging part of the whole issue. And it seems like people who post about it often feel such a weight lifted and find the strength to tell their spouses after sharing it here and getting encouragement.
There are so many strong folks on this board who have hidden debt and then come out in the open about it, and who have such inspiring stories to tell. Would it be possible to put all those stories together somewhere and link to it from this page? I think it would be a great resource for people who may not yet feel brave enough even to post on the board about their hidden debt, but who want to hear from others who have btdt. I think it could be a huge inspiration and help a lot of people.
Is this possible? Is it something anyone would be interested in participating in? Does anyone else think it would be helpful or a good idea?
Heather

I think this is a great idea! Not only will this provide support for those who are still holding the secret (which is a terrible terrible feeling), but it will also provide tips on how to 'spill the beans' and let everything out. I'm guessing that every story, although there are naturally going to be similarities, will have different ideas and suggestions in it, based on how much debt, what your past has been with managing debt (whether you've kept debt a secret before), whether you've got a spouse who is generally understanding or one who isn't, etc. And then there's the feelings that you have once the debt is out in the open and the 10,000 pound weight that is lifted from your shoulders, allowing you to breathe for the first time in months/years. :-D
I'm definitely interested in this. I know I posted my full story back in December when I first joined the board, but I will gladly redo it so it can be added to the group.
Pat :-D
I'm interested. Heck, I feel like the poster child of hiding debt from my spouse right now - lol. This is my third time going through this and this time I swear on everything holy that it is my last time and I plan on living a honest financial life for now on. For some reason I needed to screw up 3 times before learning my lesson, but this time it smacked me in the face. I am truly grateful for everyone's advice and support!
Jennifer
I think you can do an archive search to unearth your original post--might save you some composition time.
I see our industrious leader (Danni) has posted a thread to put our stories in. Hurray! Thanks, Danni.
I'll add my "other side" story after a bit, too.