Overwhelmed...tired... :(
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| Thu, 11-03-2005 - 10:48pm |
I've been feeling overwhelmed lately and had to see my family doctor recently. My situation has taken its toll on me; my blood pressure had sky-rocketed and my MD put me on meds to control it for now until I have a solution to my problem (DH) and problems (cc's). She even suggested marriage counseling or for myself which I plan on doing.
I did ask dh if he could help me pay the gas cards since he did use them but he refuses since he feels that I should've sent more then the minimum payment. I'm going to stop on-line payment on his gas card so that he can pay it from now on. That will put an extra $83.00 in my pocket to pay towards my gas card. He's not being fair and I feel as though, he would much rather see me have a nervous breakdown or beg for forgiveness; neither will happen.
I need some advice: We have mortgage and life insurance and I've been thinking about canceling them but I'm afraid that if something happens we will lose everything. My mortgage insurance will only cover a certain amount and decreases every year and life insurance depends on the incident to determine the pay-out. I figured something was better than nothing. I pay for them too and the mortgage insurance went up from $55 to $90. I get paid once a month and find myself broke way before my next paycheck. I have considered looking for a parttime job but I worry about the girls and its not like I can count on my dh to help out with them.
I have made little progress and paid off my Victoria Secret and balances are going down because I refuse to use cc's. I know if I had dh support my plan would work and we would get out of debt faster but I'm alone on this. I know its only going to make me stronger in the end. I did get an offer for a loan but I need to look at the interest rate. I might consolidate some of the smaller ones although, I don't know if thats a good idea because I have a few that are under $1300. Any advice?

I'm not going to write much because it's late and I'm very tired and have much to do, but you sounded like you could use some encouragement. I am amazed at how well you are holding up under tremendous pressure. I can't imagine having to face what you're facing. You are a strong woman.
As for the insurance, it sounds pretty iffy to me. I think I would cancel it and look for something different. First of all, no one needs mortgage insurance--the amount of your life insurance should depend on how much your survivors (spouse and children) would need to live on in order to not suffer hardship. Sure, it would be great to pay off the mortgage, but if your life insurance is sufficient, it won't be necessary.
As for the types of life insurance that pay out different amounts depending on the circumstances--they are all complete rot, and you should cancel it this minute. Sorry to be so abrupt! LOL I studied insurance a bit, and it just makes me so angry what some insurance companies will do to make money. Basically, they have the advantage of actuarial tables that tell them the likelihood of your dying of various things, and they can agree to pay out larger amounts for things that you're not likely to die from and smaller amounts for things you're more likely to die from. Besides, again, the amount of your life insurance should be based on how much your family needs, not on how you should happen to die.
I *do* think life insurance is important. But it sounds like your existing coverage is pretty crummy, and you're probably paying too much for it. Check into some of the insurance offered by credit unions. Also look into some of the larger, more established companies and those with good reputations. You may pay a bit more for the coverage, but there's no point in paying at all if the coverage is useless.
In the meantime, while you decide what kind of insurance is right for you, get rid of the insurance you already have. It's not doing you any good, and it's money you can use elsewhere at the moment.
Oh, and I should add, who is your beneficiary for that life insurance? You have a big issue here because of the problems with your h. Obviously, leaving him a bunch of money would be a huge waste, as he's not likely to do anything healthy with the money. And leaving money to minors is a complicated matter, especially if you're deliberately bypassing your spouse (which in some states isn't allowed without special processes and documents). So this is something you definitely need to discuss with a financial planner.
Anyway, I say, for now, get rid of the life insurance. You have bigger problems to deal with. Once you've figured out what's going to happen with your h, you can worry about how much insurance you need and how to designate beneficiaries.
Okay, I've written far more than I intended. Mostly I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in this. We're all here for you. Please keep posting and venting and knowing that we're listening and feeling for you.
I hope you rest well tonight and that things begin to look better for you soon.
Blessings,
Heather
I agree w/Heather. I would get rid of the life insurance for now.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. However, you seem to be a strong woman. Hang in there. Sending you a cyber hug. Sorry I don't have much advice/suggestions.
MYM
All my best,
Danni