Let me start by saying how glad I am you posted--because now I know we're not alone!! LOL
Dh has had these awful run-ins at work, and it seems like they are constantly vacillating between telling him he's doing an amazing job and they don't know where they would be without him and that he's headed for big things in the company and terrific raises, and then turning around a few months later and telling him they're thinking of firing him and he needs to work harder and longer (and this, when he already works 50-hour weeks on a regular basis and more on an as-needed basis) and that they're sorry they've given him the raises they have and he shouldn't expect more. It drives me crazy because I just can't understand where they are coming from and why they are being so fickle. So I'm glad it's not just my dh who gets this treatment. I was beginning to wonder if there really was something wrong with him, or if there was some sort of conspiracy in his department (which has had two different heads, both of whom treated him in this inconsistent manner).
Well, okay, so I'm not glad you're getting the treatment though. What an awful thing to have to deal with while you're dealing with your mother's situation too!
In answer to your question, I don't think they can legally fire you over leave to take care of your mom. I believe that's in the Family Medical Leave Act. Someone here may know more, or you could probably google Family Medical Leave Act to find out more. They also can't hold maternity leave against you, regardless of whether it was an accident or not.
On the other hand, it's always in your best interest to try and improve impressions within the company. I don't know necessarily how to do this, but dh has been trying something that seems to be helping. He's been sending weekly and/or daily (depending on what's going on) status reports on his responsibilities, including the number of hours devoted to various tasks (which clearly shows that the total hours add up to more than 40 a week). His boss has been treating him better and has mentioned that the status reports are really helping him see what dh has been up to, and to gain a better appreciation for just how much he does for the department.
I don't know whether that would help you, but sometimes it really is a matter of perception.
Anyway, I'm sorry you have so much on your shoulders right now. Here's hoping things look up for you soon.
I would seriously look at the FMLA act. I know laws very from state to state, and rules vary from company to company. I am an assistant to our Human Resources Manager at my work and am appalled about how you are being treated. If we tried to pull what your boss is pulling it would be a HUGE lawsuit in the making. Please check your local laws, and play hard ball if you need to. Family is so important. IMO I would be looking for another job too. That is just my 2 cents.
I was going to ask you just how small a company it was because there is the rule of 50 with FMLA...however, just because she's not a corporation, doesn't mean she doesn't have to still follow rules in general.
Hi, LVH---Sorry about your job situation. I have one caveat. Be sure and document the incident and keep it at home. Write down time, occurrance, factual information (not emotional), problems identified, responses, resolutions offered,further meetings and if anything was placed in your file. I would request (in writing) to see your file before you leave to see if there is anything in it that would warrant a response, correction if indicated, etc. Even if the event occurred a few days ago, I would still write down your version of events. Has anyone else had problems with this person or who can justify your work ethic on your behalf? I would also get a written letter of recommendation from someone you trust--another supervisor, co-worker, who can vouch for you. We had a similar situation at work a few yrs ago. The supervisor had a habit of flying off the handle, playing favorites, and literally decimating a persons' character. Several folks resigned, went to HR (I personally wouldnt go to HR). But there was enough documentation, incidents to warrant letting this person go. Best of luck to you on your job search. WHiz.
I would start looking for a job right away. It sounds like the situation could become poisonous. I would also (eventually) bring up that materinity benefits & leave are the law, covered by state disability and not the choice of the company. I guess every state is different, but NJ and NY have mandatory paid benefits covered by disability insurance. I would also look into the FMLA - family medical leave act and how it applies to your situation. Good luck and hang in there. Physical strength can come back much more easily than mental capacity. Count your blessings that your Mom only has some physical limitations. Sandra
Sounds like you're handling the situation very well. I can see how uncomfortable it would be for you.
I think you might still want to follow up with her in writing. She's shown a fickle turn of mind, and who knows when she might change her mind again. You can do it in a very nice way. For instance, you can open by thanking her for your frank and open discussion, and mention that you are grateful that she has taken action to remedy the situation. You can even stroke her ego by complimenting her (sincerely--don't overdo it! Look for something you genuinely admire) on her managerial skills (or whatever). Then you can bullet-point the main topics of your conversation, mentioning the maternity leave issue as in, "We agreed that the maternity leave will not be held against me," and "We came to the conclusion that taking time off to help my mother through her post-stroke recovery will be fully supported by the company," and so on. That way, you're stating it in a positive manner, but still documenting it. In your private documents, you can keep a record of the uglier things she had to say. No need to rub her nose in it.
That way, you preserve the fragile peace between you, but still establish that documentation in case of future trouble.
If she indeed admires you for your frankness, then she will also admire you for your thoroughness. And she *will* understand, even if not consciously, that you are documenting and preparing to do what is necessary should things take a turn for the worse. It can only work in your favor.
Let me start by saying how glad I am you posted--because now I know we're not alone!! LOL
Dh has had these awful run-ins at work, and it seems like they are constantly vacillating between telling him he's doing an amazing job and they don't know where they would be without him and that he's headed for big things in the company and terrific raises, and then turning around a few months later and telling him they're thinking of firing him and he needs to work harder and longer (and this, when he already works 50-hour weeks on a regular basis and more on an as-needed basis) and that they're sorry they've given him the raises they have and he shouldn't expect more. It drives me crazy because I just can't understand where they are coming from and why they are being so fickle. So I'm glad it's not just my dh who gets this treatment. I was beginning to wonder if there really was something wrong with him, or if there was some sort of conspiracy in his department (which has had two different heads, both of whom treated him in this inconsistent manner).
Well, okay, so I'm not glad you're getting the treatment though. What an awful thing to have to deal with while you're dealing with your mother's situation too!
In answer to your question, I don't think they can legally fire you over leave to take care of your mom. I believe that's in the Family Medical Leave Act. Someone here may know more, or you could probably google Family Medical Leave Act to find out more. They also can't hold maternity leave against you, regardless of whether it was an accident or not.
On the other hand, it's always in your best interest to try and improve impressions within the company. I don't know necessarily how to do this, but dh has been trying something that seems to be helping. He's been sending weekly and/or daily (depending on what's going on) status reports on his responsibilities, including the number of hours devoted to various tasks (which clearly shows that the total hours add up to more than 40 a week). His boss has been treating him better and has mentioned that the status reports are really helping him see what dh has been up to, and to gain a better appreciation for just how much he does for the department.
I don't know whether that would help you, but sometimes it really is a matter of perception.
Anyway, I'm sorry you have so much on your shoulders right now. Here's hoping things look up for you soon.
Blessings,
Heather
Thanks for all the kind words.
lvhunnie2005
I was going to ask you just how small a company it was because there is the rule of 50 with FMLA...however, just because she's not a corporation, doesn't mean she doesn't have to still follow rules in general.
Becky
CL of 4th, 5th & 6th grade Scoliosis
Send your boss a confirming email documenting the things that she said in the meeting.
All my best,
Danni
I would also (eventually) bring up that materinity benefits & leave are the law, covered by state disability and not the choice of the company. I guess every state is different, but NJ and NY have mandatory paid benefits covered by disability insurance.
I would also look into the FMLA - family medical leave act and how it applies to your situation.
Good luck and hang in there. Physical strength can come back much more easily than mental capacity. Count your blessings that your Mom only has some physical limitations.
Sandra
I have documented what happened in that room.
lvhunnie2005
Sounds like you're handling the situation very well. I can see how uncomfortable it would be for you.
I think you might still want to follow up with her in writing. She's shown a fickle turn of mind, and who knows when she might change her mind again. You can do it in a very nice way. For instance, you can open by thanking her for your frank and open discussion, and mention that you are grateful that she has taken action to remedy the situation. You can even stroke her ego by complimenting her (sincerely--don't overdo it! Look for something you genuinely admire) on her managerial skills (or whatever). Then you can bullet-point the main topics of your conversation, mentioning the maternity leave issue as in, "We agreed that the maternity leave will not be held against me," and "We came to the conclusion that taking time off to help my mother through her post-stroke recovery will be fully supported by the company," and so on. That way, you're stating it in a positive manner, but still documenting it. In your private documents, you can keep a record of the uglier things she had to say. No need to rub her nose in it.
That way, you preserve the fragile peace between you, but still establish that documentation in case of future trouble.
If she indeed admires you for your frankness, then she will also admire you for your thoroughness. And she *will* understand, even if not consciously, that you are documenting and preparing to do what is necessary should things take a turn for the worse. It can only work in your favor.
Good luck, and keep us posted!
Heather