About food and christmas
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| Mon, 11-07-2005 - 12:45pm |
Hi everybody,
My budget this month and next month are so tied that when everything will have been paid next month, I'll be left with 50 cents. Exactly 50 cents! And I didn't even included a single dollar for fun stuff like going to the hairdresser before the holidays or going out with friends for a drink. I was talking with my mom about this and we agreed we won't buy gifts (dad's birthday is in January and mom's in February, and things will be better by then so I will compensate in the birthday gift). But then there's my baby goddaugther, I guess I'll use my Visa to get her a little something, and that will be paid off in January.
But I'm left with a problem : on Christmas day the whole family goes to my aunt's. A few years ago she decided everybody should buy a gift for someone so that we all get one gift, and she fixed the price we should spend. Since then it has remained a "tradition" and she increases the budget every year (she's a top manager she doesn't really care I guess). So every year I end up having I end up having to find something for one of my cousins, we don't get along very well, they're very bitchy so meeting their standards is hard... How do I do that this year???
On top of that, I am having a lot of digestive problems right now, partly because of stress, partly because of my irritable bowel syndrom acting up. The doctor wants me to change the way I eat totally for a lot of organic stuff, milk substitues (but no soy) etc... All very expensive of course. I don't want to end up spending $250+ a month for just me! But if it's for my health, do I really have the choice?
OK I guess I'll just have to find creative ways to deal with all that...





Check out Whole Foods and Trader Joes for organic products, sometimes you can find better prices there than you can at the regular grocery store.
Hi Marie,
Those are both tough issues! I wish I had some great advice, but mostly all I have to offer is support. We deal with something similar with the gift exchange, but at least the amount isn't increased every year. On the other hand, because there are four of us, we have to come up with four gifts. So with even the "low" $15-20 limit, we end up spending $60-80 just on that. And that's a huge portion of our entire Christmas budget!
What's most irritating about it to me is, I'm really good at coming up with great gifts for very low cost. I spend most of the year looking for Christmas gift-able items at yard sales (in new or like-new condition). Then I bake, and cook, and can, and prepare, and sew, and generally make items all year long to gift at Christmas. By the time Christmas comes, I'm able to put together really gorgeous gift baskets with real meaning for the recipients--each one tailored to the individual, and wrapped in love (and in real wicker baskets that I also obtain at yard sales for about a quarter a piece).
I spend less than $5 per person, but the gift is usually a really nice one--much better than the $50 gift baskets available commercially, and mine are custom-made. But in a gift exchange where there is a dollar amount assigned, I feel like I have to actually spend that amount, even if the gift is inferior to what I could make for much less, and it irks me! LOL
Anyway, as for your problem, I wonder if there aren't others in the family who are also tired of the ever-increasing spending limit. Maybe if you talk to others, you could form a coalition for change in that department. I don't know. Or perhaps you can opt out? This is actually allowed in our family, but so far we haven't done it, because it's kind of frowned on. It won't help you this year, but another thing you could do is shop after Christmas for non-gender-specific Christmas gift baskets marked down (often 50% or more), and buy something in the right price range for next year (i.e., if your price range is $20, buy something that would have cost $20 at full price, but is marked down to $10--you'll look like you spent the full amount, but you will know the secret!).
As for the food, I feel your pain. Well, not the digestive troubles--I'm fortunate not to have that, though I do understand that it is stress-tied. But I definitely feel your pain about the cost of organic foods. We have recently switched to almost all organic, and I can no longer feed our family of four on $200 a month, as I used to be so proud of. It's more like $400 now. :(
Some things that help me are buying lots of beans and brown rice, which are both relatively cheap even when organic, and very nutritious. The beans will give you the iron and protein you need without meat. And I wouldn't worry about dairy substitutes. Dairy is a very nutrient-dense food, but it is not necessary for proper nutrition (despite what the milk industry would have us believe). You can get plenty of calcium from broccoli and other vegetable sources--in fact, although milk is high in calcium, it is also high in protein which happens to inhibit your body's absorption of calcium. So you don't need nearly as much calcium from vegetable sources as you do from milk in order to meet your body's needs.
I also like to buy oats, a variety of additional grains, and some dried fruits (raisins are cheapest) and nuts (very small quantities, since these are expensive) and make my own granola/cereal. I mix them up in whatever ways I feel like, sometimes with a little raw organic sugar, and add milk (you can use rice milk) or yogurt (sorry, don't know a good non-dairy, non-soy substitute for this). It's very, very tasty, nutritious, and cheaper than store-bought cereal.
I also have three or four really fabulous vegan/vegetarian (i.e., no animal products, not even dairy) recipes that my family really loves. Those really help keep us motivated, because we don't feel we're depriving ourselves (in fact, our favorite recipe feels like a major treat and it's SOOOO healthy). And three of the recipes are made with mostly inexpensive ingredients (lentils, potatoes, and tomatoes in the Morrocan stew; grits, bulghur wheat, soy sauce and cabbage in the Dolmades; grits, black beans, and bread crumbs in the black bean burgers, just as a sampling), so it's not too expensive to do it with organic ingredients. The other recipe (our favorite--Asian rice noodle salad) is flexible enough that although some of the ingredients are pricey (it contains peanuts, lime juice, and basil, for instance), you can play around with cheaper ingredients (cilantro is a little cheaper than basil) and things you already have on hand to get the price down. Email me if you're interested in any of our favorite recipes. :) My address is heather at careyhead.net.
Oh, and one more thing about your baby goddaughter. Can you make her something with stuff you already have on hand? Babies don't need "stuff." So maybe instead, you could make something her parents will enjoy. If you have a good photo of her, you could make a cute frame (maybe borrow the baby for an hour and make handprints with an ink pad on construction paper and use those to frame the photo) with materials you have on hand, and give them the framed picture. Or you can make a cute rattle using an empty easter egg (or something similar) with anything rattly in it, sewn into a piece of fabric (or sew crinkly paper into the fabric for a crinkler). If you wanted to get really creative, you could arrange the fabric to look like an octopus or other critter with the rattle as the head (being careful, of course, not to include anything that might be chokeable). I'm sure her parents will appreciate a creative, hand-made gift-from-the-heart more than any store-bought (credit-purchased!) thing you could get her. Besides, think of the lessons you want to teach her--you're her godmother. Think of the lessons you can teach her about the value of stewarding your money carefully, living within your means, and valuing time and thoughtfulness over spending ability. If you start practicing what you want her to learn from you, by the time she's old enough, she'll absorb it just from watching you.
I know this is an awful time of year to be stressing about money. I wish I had more help for you. Just know that you're not alone! And imagine what Christmas without debt will be like when you get there! And remember that at the end of the day, it's not about how much you spent. It's about the family, the memories, the love.
Blessings,
Heather
Thanks ladies for your advice and support.
Heather, you are so creative, your post is very inspiring!
Thanks a lot!
Hi,
I'm really starting to hate Christmas, why should we stretch ourselves for people who are going to return the gift we so carefully chose anyway? Or look doen on us if we don't meet their expectations! I say just don't participate-if at all possible, or bake a nice basket of cookies? Also have you been checked for Celiac Disease? That is commonly mis-diagnosed as IBS. It's a simple blood test, and saves a lot of ongoing agony!!
I hope this helps a little:)
I agree with you on gifting people who don't appreciate the gift. When my husband and I were in the early years of our marriage, I decided to make everyone's Christmas gifts. I ordered kits and got to work. I worked many many long hours to make those gifts. One person got an entire Christmas village (houses, churches, stores, trees, street signs, etc) all made out of plastic canvas with details right down to the strung Christmas lights on their eaves. And when the recipient of my village opened up the box, everyone said, "What is it?" The recipient looked in the box, lifted one item out and while everyone else "Ooooh'd and Ahhhh'd" over what I'd made, the recipient shrugged and said, "Just a homemade town thing" and tossed it aside!!! I went outside by myself and cried. The crocheted "Baby's First Christmas" throw I'd made for the parents of a new baby in our family just sat their gift aside also, and thankfully another guest got up and grabbed the box and said, "How bout passing it around so everyone can see?", and everyone else who saw it loved it. Not the person I gave it to, though.
So it's come down to this...the only person I give homemade gifts to are my parents. I know they love them and appreciate them, and they love giving homemade gifts themselves. Everyone else gets a store-bought gift, but I search for the biggest bargains.
Even that doesn't always work out. No matter what I get for my brother and his wife, they always call and ask me if I can send the receipt so they can take it back. I've put an end to this, though, by sweetly telling them that I purchase gifts all throughout the year, and I'm sure I haven't kept the receipt....or telling them that it's from a small mountain boutique here in the south, and they wouldn't be able to return it in their own state. LOL!
Even back when I was racking up charges on my credit card, I still loved handmade gifts or gifts of the heart. One of my favorite gifts that I can remember was a little baby doll that my 11 year old nephew sent to me 8 years ago. We had just lost our oldest son (premature birth), and that Christmas was a difficult one. He spent his own money on that little baby doll, and he included a handwritten note in cute wobbly cursive writing that said, "I'm sorry you lost your baby. Maybe holding this doll will make you feel better". I held that sweet little baby doll all through Christmas. It probably cost him no more than a dollar or two, but it was my best gift that year. It came from the heart.
I wish more people felt this way. I think Christmas would be a much more beautiful holiday if it were so.
Pat :-D
Sweet story about your nephew--brought a mist to my eyes. That's what gifts are for.
I'm definitely scaling back and handmaking a lot of stuff. But edible/usable stuff mainly.
I won't waste my $$ on a selfish clod.
ismrtaske@cox.net
Here's a cheap, cute x-mas gift. You'll have to pay shipping ($4.99), but it is still a nice gift and they won't know you only paid a few dollars.
http://www.crateandbarrel.com/family.aspx?c=1710&f=5403&viewall=1
or this is $6 with free shipping
http://www.brylanehome.com/product.aspx?PfId=57889&producttypeid=1&DeptId=7948
I try to eat organic too, but some foods are more important to eat organic than others. With produce a good rule to remember is that if you eat the skin or outer layer(green peppers, celery) you will be eating the pesticides too. If you discard the skin (bananas, outer leaves of broccoli and cauliflower) you will be discarding most of the pesticides as well. So focus the organic purchases on spinach, carrots, peaches etc... and don't sweat it when you know the outer layer is not going to be eaten. Dry beans and grains are always cheap, even when you get the organic ones. Rice is very easy on your digestive system and is usually pretty cheap too. The place where organic really starts costing more is when it is prepackaged processed foods.
Good luck with christmas. We don't exchange store-bought presents in my family, and my husband's family just agreed this year to do the same (his brother just declared bankruptcy). So we don't have your issues there.
Alicia
A quick note though--while amerline is absolutely right about some products being more important to eat organic, and the general rule of thumb, there is one exception: bananas. They are extremely heavily sprayed, and their skin is semi-permeable, meaning that the pesticides sink right in and permeate the entire fruit. I've actually read that if you can buy only one fruit organic, this is the one to buy (and that's fortunate, because even organic they're generally cheaper than other fruits conventionally grown).
But other than bananas, the rule of thumb amerline cites is right on.
Blessings,
Heather