Turned Down!!!
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Turned Down!!!
| Sat, 11-12-2005 - 9:15pm |
I received a loan offer back in October for $6500. I finally got the nerve to go the office for more information. (I did wait till the last minute expired 11/12 and the office closed at 5:30, I got there at 5pm; I guess my gut feeling was right) anyway, I told the rep, I wanted to consolidate my bills only and after considering my income, the only way I could quality for a larger amount was to have my H sign with me or get a co-signor. I know my H would not want a second mortgage or have anything do with helping me consolidate the debt he feels I created on my own. I am so alone in getting out of debt. It hasn't been easy but I am so determined to dig myself out of this hole. I wasn't disappointed that I didn't get the loan, either. I cancelled paying HIS gas card on-line (so I'll hear it soon); I cancelled mortgage and life insurance for total of $200 more in my pocket. My plans are to split this amount towards paying the smallest cc and for ER fund. I don't know what direction my marriage is heading but I now the roller coaster ride has to come to end real soon. H is really hard to predict, he has been so nice lately (it makes me sick to my stomach) that I feel he has something planned, especially since he told my dd that "we all have something coming to us real soon." Its been 4 months and I can hardly speak or stand the sight of him. He was the one that wanted out, yet has done "nothing" as far as I know to pursue it. I think he would much rather, I pursue this divorce, that he wants because he doesn't want to look like the " bad guy." For now, I feel that I'm stuck in this miserable life of debt and marriage!!!
My next step is to look for a part time job on Sunday (my plan was to do this 11/11 since I was off work but I had been in bed with the flu). I did contact a health club and I was told, yes, they are hiring and to come in on Monday. Hopefully, this will be positive news. Like I said, I'm sure my H would like to see me break down and beg for his help but he has made me even stronger and has opened my eyes to what a selfish person he really is. I know what I did was wrong and I don't need be reminded especially since I am doing something about it. I will get my life back on track and I don't plan in going back to cc debt EVER AGAIN!!!
My next step is to look for a part time job on Sunday (my plan was to do this 11/11 since I was off work but I had been in bed with the flu). I did contact a health club and I was told, yes, they are hiring and to come in on Monday. Hopefully, this will be positive news. Like I said, I'm sure my H would like to see me break down and beg for his help but he has made me even stronger and has opened my eyes to what a selfish person he really is. I know what I did was wrong and I don't need be reminded especially since I am doing something about it. I will get my life back on track and I don't plan in going back to cc debt EVER AGAIN!!!

I am really sorry you were turned down for the loan. That could have been a big help in giving you a little breathing room while you pay down your debt. It sounds like you have a good plan in place, though, for preparing for your future....whether it be with your Dh or not. I hope you get the job at the health club! This would be fantastic for you. :-D
Pat :-D
He is not running up more debt because I kept everything open on-line to track and see if he was not paying mortgage, his car/insurance and utilities and there hasn't been any phone calls. He thinks I'm soooooo STUPID because he had asked, that I not open any bills that he pays. I already know why???DUH! because I can calculate what he has left every month to blow on. I did confront him on this issue about him always saying he's "broke" anytime the girls would ask for $$$. How can he be broke, if he continues to eat a hot lunch everyday and buy beer/cigs every other day and have the nerve to tell our DD's he has no money to give them for lunch. I blew up that day and told him, he was the most selfish person, I know...etc. Well, now he gives them lunch money. So I am not worried about him adding to our debt because I would not pay any of it. It just really makes me angry that he has money to splurge and refuses to give me money for groceries. Oh, did I mention I did cut back on groceries...I no longer buy his favorites treats or cook his favorie meals (steak, rice and potatoes) so this will definitely help me save a few bucks and lose a few pounds plus since he doesn't like eating healthy and refuses to eat or buy food, will also help him shed some weight! So it benefits both of us.
I wish you all the best!
I remember when my 2nd marriage was coming to an end. I did the same thing--stopped taking care of the debts that were his, because they weren't mine! My favorite was when I said that the marriage was over, he said he was going to hold me responsible for his student loans! It didn't matter that they were his from prior to the marriage...he said it was a community prop state and he'd do it...I never signed anything, and so much for that! But it was par for the course. He always relied on me to clean up his messes, so it was a shock for him when I stopped. By the time the divorce was final I felt so USED by him. I laughed when he professed his undying love...because he didn't love ME, just the fact that I kept him "out of trouble". That's why I drill it into my 15 yo DD head that when she gets into a relationship, or married, keep a sep account for herself no matter what!
Good luck to you!!
Kathy