Do you buy for relatives you never see?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Do you buy for relatives you never see?
14
Fri, 11-18-2005 - 1:55pm

I'm stressing big time over xmas already. We are on a very tight budget this year and really want to just focus on our kids. We have a $100 budget for each other and we are really trying to keep family gifts at $20 or less a piece. I have a very large family but don't even see most of these people. They don't buy us gifts but yet my parents expect us to get them gifts because they aren't as financially secure as we are. It's so frustrating. We have to spend our hard earned money on people that have never even said thanks. We don't even see them open the gifts, don't know if they liked it, and don't even see these family members more than once a year.

I have two brothers who have never given me a gift or my kids and my kids are 10 and 8. I have a niece who I've seen maybe 5 times and she's 6 years old. I have three sisters, two of which have kids. I've seen one of the kids once...when she was first born. She's also having her first b-day right at xmas...dec 27th. My youngest son also has a b-day on Jan 2. I'd rather use our money for his occasion. I know that sounds selfish. I'm just stressed with money and don't know how to buy stuff for all these people. Even if I only spend $25 on each person, I'm looking at $275....that's more than I'm spending on my husband...who I see daily...who will really appreciate the gifts...who could really use some new things...ugh. Any advice?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Sat, 11-19-2005 - 11:55am

Same thing happened to me a few years back. I'm just generally not a fancy person, and I had never, in my life, had a fancy cake cutting set. Never. Not even my own Mother had a fancy cake cutting/serving set. We just used a normal kitchen knife to cut a cake and serve slices. Nothing to it. Our wedding was a simple one, and even then we didn't use a fancy cake serving set. So I was sitting at my inlaws a few years back, and I opened a gift from my sister-in-law. It was a long burgandy velvet box, and when I opened it, there were these two silver huge things in there, and I know it sounds silly, but I truly did not know what these huge things were for....a huge knife and a triangular looking spatula?? LOL! I thanked her for the gift, but her son was sitting next to me, and I think he sensed my confusion and he blurted out, "It's for serving Cake!!" LOL!!!!!

Pat :-D

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2004
Sun, 11-20-2005 - 12:46am
Hi, PPower. Yes, we buy for people we dont see. But, with all the nieces and nephews (9 and counting) who live out of state, we stopped it pretty much, and just go together for one gift (or GC) for parents, etc., except for newborn type thing. What I do for friends, etc I dont see much---those hoops and yoyo hallmark cards (free), and I send recipes. If I can, a small GC or cookies, lotion, etc. Or, calling cards! For my close friend, we agreed to spend only 25 dollars. Got a GC to Applebee's last yr and she loved it. Whiz.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Sun, 11-20-2005 - 10:30am
Thanks a lot for all the creative responses. I especially like the idea of sending gift cards, and making it a gas gift card. I can then put $20 towards those for the adults and for the kids, the Mcdonald's gift cards sound nice. It's way cheaper for shipping. I'm not very close to the people that I have to buy for but if I look at it as only once a year, I guess it's not so bad. The main problem is everyone gathers at my mother's house, except us (we live out of state). So, I can't really buy for one sibling and not the other since they all open gifts together. I just don't see them open them or know if most of them even liked the gift. Dh and I agreed to stick to a $100 budget for each other so that will help. In the past we both tend to get each other something really big that we've both wanted. Last year he bought me a diamond anniversary band....so us cutting back on each other will actually make it easier to buy for these other relatives. On the other hand, we aren't as financially capable as we were last year. Dh has started his own business and well...let's just say he's still in the getting his name known phase. Anyway, thank you all for your thoughts and suggestions. I really appreciate it!
Avatar for sohappilyme
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 12:23pm

I see a few issues here, LOL.

Sarah

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