New....sigh...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
New....sigh...
6
Tue, 11-22-2005 - 2:40pm
Been lurking a bit today and decided to do some of the suggestions..ie...checking with credit card companies to see about lowering interest..no takers! They say you need to have at LEAST 6 months of on time payments. How can you do that if you can't even pay them in the first place? All credit card accounts are closed b/c we wanted to make it easier to pay them off and stop using them to pay the utilities and such.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2005
In reply to: ivmomx2
Tue, 11-22-2005 - 3:03pm
Hi, I'm new too. I just found this board today.
I'm in a similar situation. We're making the same $ as you are and not able to keep up with our payments or even think about starting a family...which BAFFLES me! My husband was unemployed last year, which left me to tap out everything we had (we refinanced to get $ back from our home equity). He didn't realize the seriousness of it all.
Now, we're in over our heads with $20,000 of credit to pay back. He didn't quite understand how bad it was until I bluntly told him. He was upset with me cause I take care of the finances & I do spend a lot. I tried not to point the finger at him saying he was unemployed & I did everything I could to stay afloat...but it got to that point. The fight was because I kept our living standards as-is, instead of being conservative while he was unemployed. At the end of the conversation we just both admitted that we sucked at finances period. And I told him I'm the last person that should be running our finances, but since he doesn't, I try my best, but I freely admit that I suck. The conversation was a wake-up call. We're stuck in a corner now too. But at least I'm not the only one worrying about it. It's a relief. Before, it was "my problem", now it's "our problem".
Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: ivmomx2
Tue, 11-22-2005 - 3:06pm

HUGS!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
In reply to: ivmomx2
Tue, 11-22-2005 - 3:29pm
I absolutely know where you are coming from. We make the same kind of money. We are in debt up to our ears and are drowning fast. I am sick to my stomach, can't sleep right and just very cranky with my husband and kids. I am trying to get someone to refinance me and get cash out so that I can pay off all my bills. I have about $40,000 in equity in my house and having a hard time touching it. I have someone that can get me the refinance but not the cash out. I don't know what to do. Honestly I would love to just pay off my bills without refinancing if I could but because our credit isn't in the greatest shape I don't think that is possible. I am running about a month behind on all my bills also. It is a horrible feeling. I feel that if I pay all my bills I can't go grocery shopping and I have two growing boys and my husband to feed so it isn't like I can go without grocery shopping. I don't know how much further I can sink.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
In reply to: ivmomx2
Wed, 11-23-2005 - 7:12am
I know exactly what all of you mean. This has been one year that just seems hard to believe - I have had to file for bankruptcy which I never ever thought I would live to do. The case isn't finished yet - but we aren't having to pay the credit card bills and some of the medical bills - and we STILL can't even catch up on our regular payments.My husband was unable to file with me but his credit cards have all been charged off and sent to collection agencies. My husband was also without a job for about 1/3 or maybe more of this year. We are just so far behind on everything. We had really been depending on the credit cards to live...now that it is the Christmas season and we have NOT EVEN ONE card I have no idea how we are going to purchase presents for our children. It would be fine with me if we could just skip this year - I don't even feel like putting up a tree. Husband is working again now - but it will take months to catch up on utilities and just the everyday bills. I don't know what in the world we would be doing if I hadn't filed BK because those bills included in it were about $1000.00 a month or more. I feel so sad - and other than this board their is nobody to talk to about these feelings.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2005
In reply to: ivmomx2
Wed, 11-23-2005 - 7:43am
I would really suggest reading dave ramsey's book, financial peace and total money makeover (get them from the library!) He really emphasizes doing whatever you can to get out of debt. Also dr. phil says that "nothing is sacred" so you think, well we can't survive without our cable that is costing us 100 a month, but then again we can't pay the bills. So he says get rid of that cable, your priorities have to take a real looking at. I had to face this. We have really been struggling, i am a sahm now and we did okay at first but now i am having a harder time making the bills work out.( i do all the bills) so even though i love my high speed internet, i just called to cancel it and the cable that we had (just for reception but we can use an antenna) that is $43 dollars a months savings, doens't seem like a lot, but then multiply by twelve and you get $516! I also am looking into going with another company on my auto and homeowners insurance, i was able to get my credit card rate dropped from 17% to 4% (temporary 6 month promo) I would suggest just going through EVERY bill and seeing what can you do to make it less. Nothing is sacred. Good luck! I understand how you feel. ANd they say the more money people make, often they have more bills togo along with it, we make half of what you are making and we are both in the same boat :( One more thing, they say groceries are the best way to cut back, and i have taken a long hard look at this area this year and tried to improve on it, perhaps you might be able to figure out ways to improve in that area????
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
In reply to: ivmomx2
Wed, 11-23-2005 - 2:11pm
First, HUGS to you. You have to tell your dh what's going on. It's not fair to you to carry such a burden all by yourself. It's not fair to him to not know the current situation you're in. With two minds thinking, you might be able to come up with a better solution.
We found out a few months ago after calling a credit counselor that we could save $400 a month on grocries alone. There were so many places for us to cut expenses. We hadn't ever set down to do a budget. It was such an eye opener for us. Have you really looked at what you're spending money on? Is there an area or two that you can cut expenses? I think the more money we make, the more we spend. Last year we were making well over 100K and still finding ourselves living month to month...but we had lots of "stuff". It's been so nice to get a budget going, stick to it and really enjoy the financial freedom of it. Best of luck to you, and please tell your dh what's going on asap.