For those of you who share finances...
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For those of you who share finances...
| Thu, 01-12-2006 - 5:03pm |
BK's post in the Roll Call made me curious - for those of us out there who share finances with a spouse or significant other - how do you handle money together?

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We've had 3 phases-
Phase 1-we sat down together each week to update quicken with checks written, etc. and paid bills together near the first of each month. Each of us received $40 allowance for the month that we didn't have to account for anyone
Phase 2-we still had the allowance but I handle the bill paying and all the shopping, etc.
Phase 3-I handle the money. We don't have allowances. DH usually has some cash leftover from his meal allowance for work from the weekend before which he doesn't account for.
I was most comfortable with Phase 1-liked doing it together but as DH began traveling with work more, etc. that just doesn't work for us anymore. I would like to be at Phase 2 by the end of the year.
Taleyna
heather
It used to be that I wrote all the checks and he put everything in quicken. However, since he's in the military and has the potential to be gone a lot, I do everything now. I don't even discuss how much I pay to what debt. He asks me if he can have money for something. It is so bad that he asked for cash to buy my Christmas present. He didn't want to use his debit card for fear I would find a suspicious purchase on our online accounts (which I check at least once a day).
It did help that he had to write checks for the end of December. My hand was in a splint because of surgery and I couldn't write them. He now knows where and how much I pay to at least those bills, but alas bills for mid-month have been paid and once again he doesn't have time to help. If it wasn't for me, his fico score would be horrible, because he just doesn't have time to do the little things like PAY BILLS.
Kellie
I'm not sure
Becky
CL of 4th, 5th & 6th grade Scoliosis
I handle the bill-paying and finances here. I like to say that dh is the CEO of our family, and I'm the CFO! :-)
Dh was in charge of the bills back about 8 or 9 years ago, and omgosh, that was a huge mistake!! He had no idea how to budget, how to make sure payments were made on time ... he actually ruined my credit (his was already bad) and all kinds of things went to collections. We even had utilities turned off. I had no idea what was happening because he was too embarassed to tell me and so he lied about it. It was a very dark time in our marriage.
Fortunately, we got some counseling and pulled it out! I took over all of the budgeting and thankfully, got everything cleaned up over time. We both now have decent credit scores and aren't currently behind on anything.
I don't use Quicken because I'm more of a pen-and-paper girl. :-) I have our budget divided into two pay periods (that's how he got paid at his last job, and it's just been easier for me to keep us on that schedule, even though he's not steadily employed anymore). Each month gets a page in a 3-ring binder, and I write down amounts and dates paid to keep track. I've used the same system for over 5 years, and it works pretty well for me.
I also keep my old sheets so I can compare from year to year to make sure I'm on top of those "periodic" bills (house insurance, property taxes, etc.) and when they're due.
It's not high-tech, but I'm not either, so it's okay! :-)
Amy
When we first got married, I Had the *hardest* time with the concept of merged accounts.
All my best,
Danni
Same as Becky right here.
Pumpkin
&nbs
This is a great question. The answers are very interesting.
We have joint accounts- always have. I usually pay all of the bills, his only responsibility is to read the water meter on the 1st. He could do the bills if he had to, but since he is also military and deployable at any time, it's safer for me to handle them. The other reason is that I have time at work to really think about where the money needs to go, update our Excel budget, do online banking & bill pay, etc. My internet access at work is also great b/c I can come to these wonderful sites and be motivated to pay down debt, he then just feeds on my motivation and off we go. But if I get lazy with the motivation part, he feeds off that and we both end up spending money stupidly. Funny when you think about the psychology of all that, you know?
Things that I do leave mostly up to DH are insurance, car license, taxes, etc. He understands/handles those things a little better than me, so it's a nice split. We are both really good at keeping each other informed & educated about what's going on. We discuss money ALL the time. He is very comfortable with "my way" of paying bills and paying down debt. As long as we have money to live on, pay our bills on time, and debt numbers are going DOWN- we are both happy.
This is one thing that the military life has taught us. Soldiers perform better if they are comfortable with how their family can manage life when they are away. Accidents and other bad things can go terribly wrong when they are distracted with "wonder if Sue remembered to pay the light bill" problems. It's something that any couple can learn from, b/c many spouses do have lots of away time, travel time, etc. Knowing that you leave a responsible party behind is a very good thing.
My DH and I have had a joint account since we got engaged, the idea was to save for wedding expenses, and it also gave us a chance to get the hang of each others money mangement style. We still have the same joint checking account, and we also have a savings account. Dh income fluctuates and our goal is to save 50% of his income, however, we are not there yet....
Typically, I pay all the bills and deal with the day to day stuff. We do strategic planning together, and review our status, informally once a week or so. Usually after DH goes to the bank to deposit his check. We decide together how much we are going to give to charity, or put in RRSP's or education fund for kids.
We have had a $100 spending limit from the beginning, so we can't spend more than that without discussing it with the other party first. We have never had formal allowances, however when things got tight we would discuss what expenses and plan our spending in more depth.
There are times I wish he would be a little more involved in dealing with some of the details, but, on the whole this works well for us.
I don't know if you'd call it "handling together" but he earns the majority of the money and I spend the majority of the money, ROFL!! I'm like Becky- I 'spend' it on bills, house payments & taxes, etc.
We do not have the same money style at all. You know how Dave Ramsey says that there's usually a 'nerd' and a 'free spirit'? Yeah, well, we can be both if we don't watch it. I'm more the 'nerd.' I don't balance everything to the penny ( I stopped doing that when I stopped going to school for accounting, lol), but I sure can if needed. I always have a variable amount of 'slush fund' in the checking account to tide us over if needed. He's more the 'free spirit', in that he doesn't care too much, as long as everything is hunky-dory.
We have had joint accounts since we've been married. On paper, some of the ING accounts are his and some are mine, but since I'm the only one who ever looks at the balances and shuffles money around to and from them...When he had some control over the checkbook when we were first married, he did not do well. We had so many bounced checks, and we truly couldn't afford any missteps with money at that point, so I just took over.
I have a list of what needs paid and what half of the month it happens. I have a page of account numbers, etc. in my FLYLady control journal, and I *think* Steve knows where it is, although I don't know that he ever goes online to check the balances. Honestly, I think he's content with how things are going, and I know that I am. I've noticed that when I'm trying to work things out in my head, and I ask for his input, I never like his answers, LOL!
~Lisa
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