So Sick of "Save for Retirement" Advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2003
So Sick of "Save for Retirement" Advice!
21
Thu, 01-12-2006 - 8:47pm

I just had to post a vent ... I'm so tired of hearing/reading all the experts go on and on about how you have to save for retirement early in life or you're sunk! I'm sure it's true, and that's why I'm so sick of it!

Dh hasn't had a full-time job for the past 11 months. He and I both work part-time jobs (he has about 7!) whenever possible (he works all kinds of crazy hours, even overnight, so my only job has been work-at-home clerical, which paid well but was temporary) and are just treading water financially. Even before he was laid off, our income had dropped each year for the past 5 years (terrible job market/economy here in Michigan -- the worst in the nation, last I read). I don't know when we'll ever be able to pay off our debt and start really saving.

And we'll both be 37 this year ... I feel like we'll never be able to move out of our tiny house, or upgrade his car, or ever have enough money to retire!!

I'm feeling sad and jealous of anyone and everyone who has a good stable job. *sigh* I know we'll get past this eventually ... won't we?? Any words of encouragement would be SO appreciated!!!! :-)

Amy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-1999
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 6:41am

Dear Amy,

HUGS!!!

It is understandable that you'd be feeling in the dumps, but you are not giving up on making things better which is why you will succeed. It stinks that the process can be so slow, but just making the efforts as I am sure you have every day to deal with your situation is the best thing to do. I'm one of those optomists (that I never thought I was until recently) who believes that every day has the possibility of being THAT DAY where things may turn around. (If I didn't, then I don't think I could get out of bed some days!)

Hang in there! Wishing you the best, Littlesbigs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 8:54am

Oh boy, do I know what you mean! I remember when we weren't even able to pay our bills, and sitting at a friend's kitchen table listening to her talk about how her husband's upcoming raise of $1000 a month was going to help them save for this and that, and how horrible that made me feel. $1000 a month, I thought to myself, would pay my bills. And then all the useless (for me at the time) financial advice about saving for college and retirement, and how I should have started at the age of 21, and so on and so on.

I SO feel for you.

The thing is, that advice is given by financial experts who deal mostly with people who can afford to pay them, and they have no idea of the realities of the finances of the rest of the population. You are *not* alone in being 37 with no savings to speak of. In fact, I'd wager that you are in the majority with that.

As littlesbigs said, what sets you apart, though, from most people is that you are working on a plan to fix the problem. It must be really tough having to work with such an unstable work situation. I remember that, too--I remember looking at people waiting tables at a restaurant where I was applying and thinking how lucky they were to be thinking about whose food was ready to be run to their table instead of where they would find the money for their next rent check and whether to answer the phone the next time the credit cards came calling. And how lucky they were to be young and able to work without having to worry about paying for childcare or finding a job that would work around their spouse's work schedule so he could watch the kids. Just, how lucky they were to have uncomplicated lives! LOL

Anyway, know that we are here for you for support. Keep plugging, keep working, keep being creative and determined. You'll make it through. And don't worry about retirement until you've got today's ducks in a row. Once you're settled on that score, planning for tomorrow will be so much easier.

Blessings,

Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 9:18am

I agree...they drive me crazy as well. Along with people who complain about the low matching rate their companies give for retirement savings (you HAVE matching-be thrilled) and (don't laugh) over the years I've gotten very tired of magazines, etc. having all these great ways to save without feeling it that are essentially the same each time and stuff I started doing a long time ago.

You've joined us, you haven't given up, you are working as much as you can. I think you will get there! Any possibility of moving away from Michigan? I know that may not be ideal but if you could find more permanent jobs elsewhere.....just a thought

I have occasionally read that paying off your debt actually should come first if that helps.

Taleyna

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2004
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 9:51am

Amy,
I know how you feel. My husband is 33 and I am 29, and we still have debt which is equal to our income and no house yet, either!! We have started contributing to his 401K plan, but that is because of the employer match, and we don't feel like we will get anywhere if we pass up free money. Anyhow, we have WAY more than the national average of cc debt, and we work 80 hours per week opposite shifts. Last time I checked, I was SHOCKED to find out that even though our household income is above the national median income, we still aren't doing too well.

But you know what? we will get there someday. I think the thing is that you can't really worry too awful much about how things are going to look 30 years from now when you are barely scraping by now. if I had no debt, i would totally be able to sock away a grand per month. But right now, that is unrealistic, and i am ok with it. The other thing is that I am not willing to go without a little fun in getting there either. i don't even count on the fact that i will reach retirement age. (my mom didn't. My grandparents didn't.) I worry about our quality of life in the present, first. By the time i'm 40, my kids will be grown up (Unless, baby #3 comes along.)

Of course, the one thing I don't go without if life insurance, just in case.

But anyhow, I think you gotta do what you can do to feel good about today before you can lose any sleep over what mey or may not happen 30 years from now. Keep at it!! And good luck....heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2004
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 9:52am

Oh boy, do I feel your pain. I am in Brighton, MI. My husband has had to submit reports why his territory (everything north of 96) is doing so poorly. He is a Sales rep for a kitchen cabinet company. Everyone is out of a job! No one is doing remodels! The unemployment rate is something like 11% where the rest of the country is 6%! He hates his job and would love to quit and go somewhere else, but where? We can't move either.

Do you have any savings? I know it is hard to do sometimes. When we were broker than broke we had the $20 Jar. It was an old glass jar that every week we tried to stick a $20 in it. Once you hit $100, just bank it! There are thousands that didn't start til they were in their 50's. You may have to be aggresive, but you can do it!

Keep it in perspective. You have each other and for the most part your health (I assume)That is far more than many others.

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 10:20am

Hugs Amy - I know what you are feeling!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2003
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 10:31am

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Hang in there! Wishing you the best, Littlesbigs>>

Thank you so much, and I love your attitude!! I have to work on my "positive thinking" (I do better with that some days more than others, LOL) and I'm going to keep in mind what you said about perspective. :-) Thank you again!!

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2003
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 10:38am

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Thanks, Heather, for the support, good advice, and for sharing some of what you went through. It's so helpful to know that we're not the only ones who have been in this situation and "lived to tell" about it, LOL!! :-)

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2003
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 10:51am

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Hi Taleyna: Thanks for the support! It's truly appreciated. :-)

It's funny you should mention looking for a job elsewhere ... dh is actually in the "talking" stage about a job possibility out of state. There are a few sticky things about it, though. It would be for a government contract down in LA/MS in the hurricane-hit area (a security position), and the contract itself isn't even completely settled yet. I'm nervous about the idea of living in the storm-damaged area, and especially nervous about the guy that the job would come through. Dh has worked for him before (in fact he's working for him now) and while he's a nice guy, he's one of those "big dreamers/talkers" that things don't always work out for. Plus, he still owes dh a tiny bit of money from a job he did last year and that just bugs me a bit that it's outstanding.

The other thing is, on the news yesterday they were discussing the fact that the government is considering either pulling back and/or cancelling some contracts down there because they're realizing they're unnecessary and the money could be better spent helping residents rebuild. So I'm wondering if this might be one that gets cancelled.

So there's a lot up in the air, and dh and I figure the best we can do is continue to try to move forward here. He's just gotten a part-time teaching position (12 hrs/week) at a local community college and there's some hope that it might expand to more hours in the future.

We're both just trying to hang in there, and we pray a lot, and so far God has faithfully met our needs. I guess I just get frustrated and want things to hurry along so we're doing more than just handling the absolute "needs" and get to knocking off debt so we have more stability! :-)

Thanks again for your post!! :-)

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2003
Fri, 01-13-2006 - 11:14am

<

Of course, the one thing I don't go without if life insurance, just in case.

But anyhow, I think you gotta do what you can do to feel good about today before you can lose any sleep over what mey or may not happen 30 years from now. Keep at it!! And good luck....heather>>

Heather:

I think you are absolutely right! None of us knows what the future will bring, and there's no point in worrying about it right now, as long as we're doing the very best we can, right? I mean, today has enough to worry about -- I shouldn't be borrowing trouble from tomorrow. Thanks for the perspective.

Our ds just turned 13 two days ago (Heaven help me! I'm the mother of a TEENAGER!! LOL) so we'll still be pretty young when he's out of the nest (probably more figuratively than literally, LOL!). We'll still have lots of years to work and save (God willing!).

We also made sure to get life insurance. This way, if anything happens, our ds and our bills will be taken care of. It gives me a lot of reassurance to know at least that much! :-)

Thanks again for posting; you really lifted my spirits. :-)

Amy

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