OT: cleaning up after everyone
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| Fri, 01-13-2006 - 7:49pm |
I'm sorry for the completely off-topic post, but I know this is a safe place I can come for support and encouragement. And it's totally petty too (sort of!), but I am just feeling really burned out on cleaning up after everyone around here!
I know, if I were a superb mom, I would just be oh-so-efficient at getting the kids (and their father!) to clean up after themselves, and it doesn't help that I'm a terrible housekeeper myself... and it doesn't help ME feel any better to know I'm at least in part to blame, but...
I'M SO SICK OF FOLLOWING EVERYONE AROUND CLEANING UP AFTER THEM!!!!!!!!
There. I feel much better. Thanks for letting me yell.
Anyone else feel like they spend most of their day moving from one mess to the next, and never actually accomplishing anything?
Okay, so it won't be *completely* off-topic, I suppose this probably applies in finances too. Anyone feel like they're constantly cleaning up after a SO's financial messes? LOL

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I so totally hear you. I am sick of it myself. I even came up with systems for DDs room. Everything has a certain box to go into, thinking that would help. It shocked me the one day I was watching her pick up. I found one dress shoe, asked her where the other one was, she pulled a bunch of stuff out from underneath her bed, handed me the missing shoe and then shoved everything back under her bed. HELP ME PLEASE.
I guess you could do what a woman on the news did. I can't remember where she's from, but she was tired of picking up after her husband and kids, so she took everything she had to pick up for one week, put it in a box, auctioned it off on ebay and then included a video of the family's reaction as she showed them what she had auctioned. All the money she made (I think it was about $300) went to charity. It was all to teach her family a lesson and it worked.
good luck and you have my sympathy because I know exactly what you are going through.
Kellie
YES!! I feel like this most days. Honestly, what has helped me is to have a journal. It's just a spiral notebook from the dollar store, but when I get frustrated, and all my pleas for assistance fall on deaf ears, I vent it all into my journal. It feels SO good to get it all out.
Sometimes I just tell DH that I feel like one great big "Mommy Blob" when I spend all day cleaning and scrubbing, rather than relaxing a bit.
Wish I had some suggestions, but unfortunately, I can only tell you that you're not alone. :-D
Hugs,
Pat :-D
I was just thinking today "Goodness, what will I do with all my time when I'm not mopping up spills all day long!" I'm a terrible housekeeper but what has worked best for us with DD is saying 5 minutes to clean up the living room and then anything that is still on the floor, couches, etc. become mine. We used to put the items on top of the TV and she had to earn them back or after a set time they vanished (to the Goodwill). That worked well for my DD.
I saw the woman who sold the stuff on e-bay as well and while it worked for her DH it didn't work for the children. I think everyone needs their own motivation.
You are definitely not alone!
Taleyna
Hello,
You may want to check out Flylady's website: www.flylady.net
Her website is dedicated to helping us build routines (and teach them to our spouse and children) around keeping the house clean. You start very slowly, baby step by baby step, until many of those "constant messes" are under control, so you can spend time getting to know the "real" you. =)
There is also a flybabies (name for ladies following flylady's methods) message board on ivillage, where you'll find lots of support.
Sincerely,
Lindsey Schocke
Got Dot? Why Not? It Pays! Watch the 7 minute video!
http://website.ws/runsamok/show/
Sincerely,
Lindsey Schocke
Geeks on Tap: Mission Accomplished
I KNOW how you feel. I mean I have my daughters therapists in and out of my house every day except Monday, and I have repeatedly asked my husband to pitch in, especially durin the week when i am working thirds amd homeschooling my oldest on three hours of sleep. And sometimes he says he is going to, so i will think it is safe to go to bed, and I will wake up to a complete disaster. Yesterday was one of those days.
I had to drove my daughter 40 miles to her dentist appt, which means I had to pick her up from school at 9:30. I get a knock on the door at 8:45 and its my landlord, and he says the water company needs to come and do something with the meter in the basement...had I gotten the message from the day before? (And I hadn't) So I was busting my butt for half an hour mopping the floor, loading the dishwasher, vaccuuming a bit, and I finally got the place semi-presentable. (Dh had said he would clean up the night before, but fell asleep on the couch, which he does at least twice per week) And then when I open the door down to the basement, I notice dh had just thrown his work clothes down the stairs in a heap. Too lazt to put them in the washer, too lazy to put them in the washbasket upstairs. ARGHH!!! My whole day was just about shot ovet ythat minor catastrophe..it pissed me off that badly.
Anyhow, I was watching him microwave his dinner, and he actually stood in front of the microwave the entire 4 minutes just waiting for it to get done. I could have smacked him! Heather
Thank you EVERYONE for all the support. I was so afraid I was going to get a slap on the wrist for posting such an off-topic subject, and I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has this problem!
I love flylady--I was a member way back when there were less than a thousand members. I have an autographed copy of her book. She lives in the same state I do, and I once (before she became big news) proposed a story about her to a local magazine (it was turned down; the editor later lamented that she missed a big story and apologized for rejecting it, LOL). I do use many of the skills I learned as a flybaby, but I eventually found that I just had too much on my plate to be following instructions from flylady all day long. I know, it's all supposed to become routine, and much of it has, but with two children five and under, I just couldn't keep up with it.
It's funny someone should mention it on this thread, though, because after posting that, last night I went to her site and started her baby steps all over again. I went downstairs and polished my sink--something I hadn't done in a long time. It looked nice. Then dh came in and put his bowl in the sink. The dishwasher was running. This morning there are dishes in the sink.
Anyway, I'm trying not to whine. I don't mind the housework most of the time, and the flylady stuff really does help me. I just get so sick of "put away that game before you get out a new toy" (the kids have storage bins, and they both know exactly where things belong, and most of the time they do it--but the holidays and all the new stuff threw us off, and I've been babysitting off and on all week long, and other kids dump out the toy baskets on the floor and don't put them away because once the room reaches a certain point it gets too overwhelming) followed by, "pick up the craft stuff from the kitchen table" followed by, "here's a rag, clean up the mess you made in the bathroom" (my FIVE-year-old has had TWO bathroom accidents in the past two days--WHAT is going on with that????), followed by, "why are you still in your wet clothes from playing in the rain? You've tracked mud all over the house," followed by a discovery of a laundry load worth of clothes on the floor on the far side of the guest bed where dh has been sleeping the past few nights and apparently just dumping his clothes (sometimes we just get better sleep in separate beds--it's no measure of how we're getting along, it's just a fact of life sometimes--he snores and I kick, so some nights it doesn't pay to try and be cozy), followed by a two-day-old potty mistake from my two-year-old that is now caked on the carpet in the closet, and so on.
Sigh. We actually do have systems that work for us most of the time, but, as I said, the holidays really threw us off our routines. We haven't been in a regular schedule for about a month until this past week, and we just haven't gotten back in the swing of things.
Well, at least the weather is gorgeous. I plan to spend most of today outside. It's like spring out there. Unfortunately, I imagine the trees and flowers think so too, and I hope we don't have our fruit and flower crops wiped out. Nevertheless, I'm going to enjoy the weather while it lasts! I'm planting sugar snap peas today. Woo-hoo! And as long as I'm outside, I can pretend there's not a pigstye inside awaiting my magic touch (ha ha).
Thanks again for all the support and encouragement. It's SOOO good to hear I'm not the only one.
Blessings,
Heather
auctioned it off on ebay and then included a video of the family's reaction as she showed them what she had auctioned. All the money she made (I think it was about $300) went to charity. It was all to teach her family a lesson and it worked.
I saw her on Dr Phil and I don't think it was working. But, I think the problem there were spoiled kids who expected their things would only be replaced. I SO know the feeling of cleaning up all day everyday and again the next day too. Then, my p/t job is a cleaning job. So, I get to clean up after people I don't even know. We have a chair that everyone piles their coats/jackets on instead of hanging them in the closet which is right next to the chair. Well, when we put up the xmas tree I moved the chair by the front door which is past the hall closet. And wouldn't you know it, everyone walked by the hall closet to pile their dang coats in that dang chair.
Wow! That could have been my house. Oy. I am not a big fan of too much 'stuff', never have been, mainly because it gets to a point where I go on overload, and just can't deal with it all. I am well aware of my triggers-when I'm tired, stressed, anxious-and try to remember to breathe! And, yes, with my extended winter holiday, I have been noticing it more this year, and that's why I'm FLINGING!
It bothers me greatly when I scan a room and it seems that every available surface is covered with something. Unfortunately, the only stuff I can really control is my own, and both DH & DD have packrat tendencies. This is not a good start for a happy household, LOL!
It's interesting that even though they both know that the house is (unfortunately) not self-cleaning (whoever invents that will be wealthy beyond all measure, I'm sure), they do not understand that there is no 'cleaning fairy' who will come wave a magic wand and make it all tidy. Well, I suppose there is, and her name is "Lisa."
All I can tell you is that you know the drill-15 minutes at a time, with a break every hour! Hang in there-
~Lisa
Okay, I have to laugh....
I know you intended this to be an "off-topic" post...and I knew that....however I was thinking "cleaning up after DH's financial messes, too" and you posted just that thought!!! ha ha ha ha
YES, if DH would help me just a tiny bit in keeping things organized around the apartment.... DS(5) has a pretty good routine - breakfast, bath, chores (make bed, put dirty clothes in laundry room, feed parakeet), and manages to keep his room fairly clean too. If only the MAN of the house could do the same!
Oh, and financially...yes .... Enough said.
~Aravis~
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