frustrated today...
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| Wed, 01-18-2006 - 11:47am |
Just when I think dbf and I are doing better financially, something else happens. I had expected to be able to pay my remaining bills for the month with no problem, and to be able to make my next month's car payment and possibly even snowflake some more money to cc's or to savings. However dbf is in a serious financial jam and has been working for months to pull himself up from rock bottom. I have been helping him where possible. The one thing I have done for him a few times is to pay his student loan payment, 180 dollars, and the reason I do this for him is because my grandmother's name is on the loan as his cosigner and I refuse to hurt her credit. So I will scrape together the money to cover at least that one things. My accounts are all current and have no problems, but he has other accounts in collections, etc, and is just struggling. So anyway the point is that I thought that dbf would be able to handle the student loan payment this month, therefore I didn't budget/plan to help him with it, and instead flaked extra money to cc's. And it turns out that now it's getting close and he's not sure he can pay it, or might only be able to pay some of it. Which leaves me in a pretty hairy situation financially. I may have to clean out my meager savings to pay it this month which sucks. I'm not mad a dbf because he is doing everything he can to get things sorted out financially but I'm just frustrated that it got this bad in the first place. I wish I could just not pay it and let him deal with it but that effects my grandmother's credit so I can't. The normal student loan payment is 310 dollars for him, but he filed a financial hardship deferment but they would not defer all of it, only some of the payment. So frustrated...
On the upside, dbf sold a house today! Not the two I was talking about the other day on here, but a completely different one! comission check should be a few thousand. Hopefully he can pay his taxes and put the rest towards bills. It won't fix everything, but it will be a lot closer to it! The other two sales are still up in the air, no word either way. I will let you know! Once he gets himself all up to date again he is going to help me with my bills, but his are first priority because they are all behind. I'm hanging in there with mine though...

Wow, you are so right about having to pay the student loan since your g.mom is the cosigner -- no way out of that. Probably you should just assume that you will be paying it every month, budget for it, before any snowflakes -- then be really happy on the months that he can pay. I know what you mean tho -- luckily you have a little in savings. I guess that's what it's for. Hang in there.
Megan
Is he working on paying off old debts? I mean like this month? I only ask because if the student loan is priority (because of the cosigner situation) could he maybe make sure that's paid in full THEN pay the other things. Just an idea.....and boy do I sympathize with the high student loan payment and the student loan payment deferrment. It may not seem like it now but his having to make payment however small are really a blessing. I was in deferrment for 2 years and it added so much more $$. So, I so understand. GL....and it's nice to see someone protecting someone else's credit who went to bat for them.....;)
Oops....sorry I just reread your post. I forgot you said you could pull the $$ out of savings....I guess that'd be the way to go as hard as it is to do it. I agree w/ the PP about just budgeting for it as your own bill. I guess it'd be awesome on the months your dbf does pay it in full then it'd be a great snowflake for you.
Edited 1/18/2006 4:13 pm ET by sweetjumps
Thanks so much for the supportive posts! I really appreciate it. I was expecting to hear someone say something negative about how I need to back off and let dbf worry about his own bills, etc. I've heard that before and I hate it! We've been together 6.5 years and we always help each other, there have been times he has bailed me out and now I do what I can to help him. It's not "my" money, it's "our" money in that sense, that we always help each other. And when you are planning on a future with someone it's in your best interest to help them financially anyway, right?
Anyway, thanks for the positive responses. I will try to work the student loan payment into my budget until he can get on his feet. My student loans will be coming due soon but I am hoping I can defer mine completely until things get better.