New here and TERRIFIED.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
New here and TERRIFIED.
9
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 4:49pm

First of all, IM so glad you are all here; I feel so alone and scared. In a nutshell, I got married to my husband 3 years ago. We work in the entertainment industry here in Los Angeles (he is a cameraman, Im a writer). We had a baby 18 months ago at which point I basically slowed way down with working and we downsized our lives basically so that I could stay home with the baby and we could live on one income. Well, this industry SUCKS. If you have a project/Show/Feature that you are working on, great,otherwise, you make NOTHING. Everything is now being filmed everywhere EXCEPT for California because of how redilulously expensive it is to film here. Work has dwindled, I occasionally write from home but its not like it used to be. We are behind like we have never been behind before ever. My stomach is upset, I cant sleep, my hair is falling out. He takes any work he can, but we've fallen BEHIND and catching up is looking like a bigger and bigger hill. I need diapers, I need milk, I need to pay the mortgage....I cant do any of those things. Please, please, someone pray for us. If anyone has ANY ideas as to what I might be able to do to stay afloat, please advise.

I feel desperate, afraid and alone

Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 5:29pm

Can you move?

All my best,
Danni

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 5:43pm

My immediate thought on the baby was if you were eligible for WIC. You can go online and look at the income requirements-this would give you some options in terms of food.

I agree with Danni that looking to move out of California would be an option. Also, could 1 or both of you find some other type of work? Perhaps one of you doing some type of temporary work would help you get caught up on things.

Thinking positive thoughts for you!

Taleyna

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 6:29pm

I'm so sorry to hear things are so frightening right now.

I know for me, at moments like this, information/reality is really important to get me out of the panic zone and into the action zone. I was wondering if you had a good sense of where you stand with your obligations? If not, that might be the first thing to do. Sit down and write down what your financial obligations are so you know where you stand. Obviously income is unreliable but that shouldn't stop you from figuring out what you owe and to who. Once you have that piece, you might be able to identify some specific areas you need suggestions for or whatever and this board would be great for that.

My only other advice from being on the other side of the debt table long ago is to communicate with your lenders. They can't just let you off the hook but borrower initiated communication went a long ways towards getting helpful people working on your side when I was in that business. I was in student loans so there were lots of things we could do to educate/assist but if we couldn't talk to the person, there wasn't much we could do for them.

Peg

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 7:43pm

Wow,Iliterallhy poted this just hours ago, and look at the support already; thank you.

To answer some questions, we have talked SO many times about how great it would be to move OUT of California. We both have children from previous marriages, which makes it virtually imposible to move. (or we would have LONG ago, trust me). I envy those of you with half-way reasonable cost of living expenses.

As far as WIC goes, thats a heck of an idea...Im going to go over to that office in the morning, first thing ( I think I saw it over near the City Hall). If they actually offer milk, supplies etc., that would be one less thing to think about.

I suppose I should make the atempt at calling and explaining my situation to the lenders...Im just embarrased! Im so embarrased that even typing this, I can feel my face get hot and flushed. I dont want the lenders to get rude/sarcastic with me. I feel bad enough...

Thanks again for the support and understanding....I'll be checking back in a bit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 9:56pm

***Im just embarrased! Im so embarrased that even typing this, I can feel my face get hot and flushed.***

Please don't feel embarrased. No one here is going to judge you. We are all in the same situation to varying degrees. We all owe money. If we didn't we wouldn't be here. We don't care how you got in the situation, just that you are ready to find ways to get out of debt and handle what you do have. A mantra that we have here, one that bears repeating as many times as necessary is "I am not my debt." You are not a bad person just because you have debt.

Just remember, no matter what, you can come to us for support and hugs anytime and WE DO NOT JUDGE! And, no embarrassment allowed. I wish I could offer sage advice, but I really don't have any. You are in my thoughts though and I wish you the best.

Good luck,
Kellie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 10:27pm

Don't be embarrassed, we've all hit rough times or we wouldn't be here too. The ladies here are fantastic. I know what you mean when you say you are so stressed your hair is falling out, I called my mom sobbing when we couldn't make it work anymore. This was after months of not paying electric one month to pay phone or water and the next month paying that bill and not paying the other two. We borrowed about $250 one month from a neighbor I barely knew (fiance had painted her house and was chummy with her) to keep our electric from being shut off. I just post dated a check to her and she cashed it my next payday. Pretty cool of a 70 yr old neighbor living on fixed income,who met me maybe once in the 6 years we've lived 100 feet from one another.

You are in my thoughts, hope things will improve soon and you get all the help and support you need from this board.
Pam

Proud sister of a Marine:

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Avatar for cl_phocid
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 8:44am

Oh - I know all about the hot face and total embarassment because of the situation.

All my best,
Danni

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 8:58am

Please don't feel embarrassed telling us about what you're going through right now. We know better than to judge anyone because we're all in debt. :-D

I think WIC is a wonderful idea. Also, ask the WIC office about the availability of Food Stamps and how you would go about signing up for that. That would provide neccessary food for your family as you work to get back on your feet.

Does California have engery assistance to help you pay your utility bills? The WIC office might be able to point you in the right direction there also.

While it's hard to think of any family being split up, is there a possibility that your DH could take a job in another area (where filming is being done now), and find dirt-cheap housing during that time, and send the remaining money back to you for bills and living expenses?

Do you have a house? Could you sell it and use the proceeds to pay off your debt, and live in an apartment for awhile?

Sending you supportive hugs as you work through this. Keep us updated :-D

Pat :-D

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 10:37am

HUGS!!!!

That sounds pretty darn crummy! I am terribly sorry your family is going through this situation right now!

You will definitely be in my thoughts! :)

However, if you could give us more specific information (what is "behind", etc), maybe we can give you some definitive advice! Do you have any family that could help? Could you get a part time job at a coffee shop (etc) to pull in some fairly steady cash? Even fifty bucks a week would probably make a huge difference!!!

Let us know the details, girl, and we will try our best to help!!!!!

~Aravis~

 

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