What is my problem?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
What is my problem?
4
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 5:16pm

Hi there,

this might sound silly - or mayhaps it doesn't. I have simply no idea where my money went. No, wrong. I have a pretty good idea, and I am able to read a bank statement, and add up all the figures, and know d*** well how much money I owe and to whom and all that. But.

A huge but: But I usually don't care anymore. I am scraping by, managing to be on time for my student loan repayments, know that it either forgo ALL nice things in my life, or spend 50$ more each mobnth that I can possibly make - and I seem to have decided that I don't care aboutgetting deeper and deeper into that hole.

So: What is my problem?

It has stopped to be embarrasing. Sure, I prefer not to talk money issues with anyone, not even my husband. I am 32 now and for the last 15 years I have been owing money to the bank, to my family, to various sources. At least now it is only the bank... But it definitely has lost it's terrifying aspects.

And that is what really frightens me.

I try to stick to rules: Take out 50$ from the ATM every tuesday (my first day ofthe week since I work parttime), and that's all there is for this week. Food, newspapers, caffe latte, whatever. 50$, and that's it. It works. The trouble is: It still is too much.

I know all those wonderful internetsites trying to tell me how to feed a family of four on 200$ a month (nice ideas there if you have neither microwave nor freezer...). I know how to save bucket loads of money on power, transport, heating, and every year's end we get a refund from our el company. I stopped getting books from the library 'cause I constantly forgot to bring them back and thus had to pay overdue fees. We did all the small and big things we know about to save money, to stick to a budget (I am notoriously bad at adhering to rules...), trimmed the fat, as people say - and it isn't enough. It just isn't enough.

I have read often enough that as time passes people just get used to all kind of embarrasments, and begin to give up. That's what I am really afraid of.

I guess I really could use a second job... :-(

Greetings, Jordis

ivy_jordis

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2004
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 5:27pm
Hi, Jordis. It sounds like you hit a plateau. Kinda like my diet thing. I have to keep myself challenged, so to speak, to stay on track. Is it where when things are paid off, there is no more goal? The debt thing is a constant vigil. If you hit a rut, treat yourself to something inexpensive. For me, I went to a new hairdresser. It made all the difference, and it didnt cost me a lot of $$$. l)Start building up your e-fund or savings account for something---the unexpected car repair, dental work, or weekend fun trip. It might get you focused again. Whiz.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 11:28pm
Hi -- Wow, I know how you feel. Sometimes this debt seems never ending and so hard to get away from. Probably even a few hours a week of a second job would make the light at the end of the tunnel reappear!! It really sounds like you have cut all that can be cut, and income has to be increased somehow. Good luck in all of this. We can conquer this. We're all in this together. Hugs!!
Megan
Avatar for londonrose2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 11:14am
Is there no way you could go full time at your job? I think that's what I would try to do first. Other than that, at some point you just have to say, you know what, I'm working on it, I'm doing everything I can, and that just has to be good enough. I think if you are able to get by taking that $50 a week to get the little things for yourself, you're doing better than people who can have absolutely *no* extras. Pat yourself on the back once in a while for all the times you do follow the rules!

 

Avatar for cl_beckymk
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 4:33pm

I know the feeling!!!


I get it quite often (in my case it's the "things are never going to change so why even bother, doesn't matter what we do"), however, then I usually have something that will kick it up or I do something that makes me feel like I have some control over things (even if it's just small - count my change jar or something).


Hang in there!!!!

Becky mom to


Carolyn (6th), Aaron (3rd), Kyle (Kindie), Luke (2)


CL to