Suicidal Feelings
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Suicidal Feelings
| Sun, 02-19-2006 - 7:55am |
One day last week, I kept thinking that suicide was my only way out. All day, I could not get it out of my mind. I went home and slept and the next day felt better but it's on my mind again today. Now, do not be alarmed. I would never do this while my mother is alive. She has already lost one daughter due to illness. I just don't find life worth living. I have some change in my purse and that's all. I am .22 cents away from going over my overdraft limit in my bank account. I keep trying to sell things on ebay, but I'm making next to nothing. I never understood why people killed themselves over financial hardship but I do now. Sometimes I feel there is just no way out. How am I supposed to eat today and the rest of the week? I have borrowed thousands of dollars from my mother and she told me not to pay her back but I can't keep taking advantage of her like that. I owe $40,000 and that does not include my lease payments on my car or my mortgage. I have maxed out my credit cards - I have no source of money. Life always seems to be a struggle. I can't remember the last time I had any fun. And yes, I have been to countless therapists and tried a zillion different kinds of medication. I have some now for anxiety but I don't know what to do.

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Just checking in to see how you are doing over there. Your problems are substantial but you are not your bills.
Sweetpea suggested you speak with a lawyer for a free referral to discuss options to protect yourself. Put yourself first! You deserve only the best and there are legal means available to take care of the financial stuff. sweetpea1233 gave EXCELLENT advice about calling for a free appointment with a bankruptcy attorney. It is situations just like yours that bankruptcy exists.
Let us know how you are doing ok.
Travi
I am glad you asked your mom for help. I know my mom would feel awful if I wasn't eating and didn't ask her for help.
Also, I don't think anyone here would think badly of you for how you spend your money, we are all human. If what you are spending your money on is because of your eating disorder, well, an eating disorder is a very real, scary (to me, at least), thing.
You may need to sell your house. Or maybe you can take in a renter? Sometimes you can rent out a room in your house to a student. Especially if you're in Toronto.
Hope you feel better soon. Take care of yourself.
I think you need to look at what is important to you and start cutting out those things and expenses from those things you don't value.
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